Peeks head out of lurker status

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MadHouseWitch

Peeks head out of lurker status

Postby MadHouseWitch » Thu Jun 06, 2019 1:00 pm

Hello Everyone,

First off I am REALLY happy to have found this board!
I started my S.H.E. journey around 16 years ago. I was always a messy child, or rather always had a messy bedroom, I was an only child and first Grandbaby on both sides, PLUS I had major surgery at 2 1/2 (open heart, I had a hole so ASD repair) So, I just had TOO MUCH STUFF. However this started a lifelong battle with clutter, coupled by having family taught hoarding tendencies. Not like BAD BAD, but nothing really goes "away" here, it tends to go "to the Attic" or get shuffled to the next in line. I live around my family so here is also my childhood home area, but we are in a different house (there are 2 houses on the property owned by my Grandparents, and my Uncle lives next door as well, in a remodeled Barn turned house, then my family of 7 in the farmhouse) I could write a memoir on the houses!
As a teen I would try and do the room all nice and clean and "OH I'll just keep it that way" thing... yeah that never really stuck. At 18 I had quite the year. I had a baby, lost my mother to a blood clot, got married, and moved into my own house. I seemed to not be adjusting fast enough for some people, so my Dad came in and made a bunch of threats (we no longer are in contact due to this) but that sort of got me on a "I need to keep things cleaner" thing. MIND you NONE of the "issue areas" was my Daughter near, and some were just nitpicking to peg my Husband on something. The thought process was to "help" me I guess, as you can imagine it DIDN'T help, it just made things worse, since I was not really able to grieve properly. I mean having a baby doesn't allow much time to grieve. She was around 10 months old when the event happened.

So I tried to find things to help with a skill set I never really learned how to do. My Mom and I lived with family most of the time I was growing up so she had some help. We did have some time just us but we had school and work so we just were not home much, and a family of 2 is easier to manage than 3, or 4, or 7....

I found some family member had a copy of "Get Your Act Together" and I tried to set it up, I'm not sure what happened then, but somewhere between adding a new baby and moving and selling the house it didn't stick.

Fast Forward a few years, trying to reconcile with my Father, living near him and trying to "prove" I could actually do it. I found Flylady, it took me a bit to discover it was based on S.H.E. and I was thrilled. And it worked for a bit. Including through a preschooler, a toddler, and a TWIN pregnancy, and a bit after they were born. It was however, on and off during this time. I really feel like a Flylady failure! A few points I would set up a cardfile again and try that. I even ventured out into the other realms of organization.

I tried
Motivated Moms (which was like a LIFESAVER for a bit but I would forget to check the list for weeks, "clip children's nails" was FANTASTIC for a time)
"unfilth" your habitat (it isn't really filth but another word that starts with an f)
A Slob Comes Clean (though I didn't really DO much I would just read some)
Messies Anonymous

I am sure there are others, BUT each time I would start I'd go "this all says the same thing" and TRY to go back to Flylady. OR a few times the standard Cardfile

The cardfile makes my heart sing so much more than the others, but again it is staying power I struggle with. At this point I'm like an "expert" that can't seem to get things to work FOR ME! So I find myself here so I can share what works, get insight on what isn't sticking. And maybe find some support along the way.

I was REALLY worried at first that this forum would be a dead one but was SO happy to find that it was alive and well. I don't know how much time I'll have to post a ton but after looking and finding a FEW tips I thought it best I just sign up!

Apologies for this being so long, yet this is the cliff notes version!

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Harriet
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Re: Peeks head out of lurker status

Postby Harriet » Thu Jun 06, 2019 1:29 pm

Greetings, Madhouse! Looks like the Cliff's Notes version to me. As Mark Twain said, (paraphrased) , "I'd have written a shorter letter, but didn't have the time."

Generational clutter is often a topic here, as is the wondering about inherited sidetracking tendencies.

I completely agree that the Cardfile is heartwarming to me, too, and brings a smile. It is NOT that it always works beautifully, but that it can be a basis and a landmark, while I may turn at times to lots of different methods that are similar (or not). It will be there as a measuring stick or a candle in the window, whichever I need, lol, and I always come back to it. Actually, I think going over to different (various?) methods is wise because we look at our problems from other angles so we really SEE them.

Glad you are here.

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Nancy
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Re: Peeks head out of lurker status

Postby Nancy » Thu Jun 06, 2019 3:13 pm

Welcome!

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lucylee
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Re: Peeks head out of lurker status

Postby lucylee » Thu Jun 06, 2019 4:00 pm

Welcome!!!
My dmom and I were just talking this morning about how we could write our own book on organizing — re: what you said about being an “ “expert” but unable to find what really works for yourself. :)

See my post from last night in PWYC — I’ve got soooo much INFORMATION, but now all that has become clutter, too.

Anyway, you’ll find so much support and encouragement, not to mention wisdom, here in our SHE village! Glad you joined us!
Tomorrow is another day.

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Lynlee
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Re: Peeks head out of lurker status

Postby Lynlee » Thu Jun 06, 2019 6:35 pm

welcome.
I look forward to reading your posts.

You are not the only one who has studied the theory of how to.
The need for everyday action to become habitual can be the tricky bit,
all the while keeping other balls in the air.
Just begin.
Living this day, today
Take a reality check; Remember to breathe; Do what I am able to do.
Look for the good in all.

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Sunny
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Re: Peeks head out of lurker status

Postby Sunny » Thu Jun 06, 2019 7:38 pm

Welcome to our SHE Village, Madhouse! This is the best group of homemakers ever; so many caring people here. It is nice to come here and relax with so many nice women.

For myself, I have taken our Cleaning Focus Schedule and put it on 3 x 5 cards and work from that. The schedule is easy to follow and easy to pick up again if one gets off track and misses days or even weeks.

Looking forward to seeing your posts.
Start by doing what's necessary, then what's possible, and suddenly you are doing the impossible. --- Francis of Assisi

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LadyMaverick
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Re: Peeks head out of lurker status

Postby LadyMaverick » Fri Jun 07, 2019 9:28 am

Welcome! Jump right into the PWYC and start where you are.
1. Know what you want.
2. Go after it relentlessly.

CathyS
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Re: Peeks head out of lurker status

Postby CathyS » Fri Jun 07, 2019 4:52 pm

Hi! I love your user name!
Dishes never stop.
Laundry never stops.
Paper never stops.

MadHouseWitch

Re: Peeks head out of lurker status

Postby MadHouseWitch » Sun Jun 09, 2019 2:05 am

I'm really happy to finally have used the right search criteria to find THIS board, then taking some time to find that it was an ACTIVE board! I was a bit concerned it might be fairly dead! I when I found it was active, I was so happy. Hopefully I'll get to post some more after this week was BUSY. Which I always AM but hopefully I can carve out some more time soon. (I've done some stuff with Google tasks that I think would be fun to share)

I figured that even just a few active users was fine by me, I used to be on one that had like 5 of us on there HAHAHA, so I am also happy to see there is a bit more activity then that one.

BookSaver
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Re: Peeks head out of lurker status

Postby BookSaver » Sun Jun 09, 2019 9:05 am

Crazybusy work schedule has kept me away from the forum for longer than I like. It's fun to come back and see a new person. Welcome, MadHouseWitch. I'm looking forward to chatting with you.


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