Peeks head out of lurker status
Posted: Thu Jun 06, 2019 1:00 pm
Hello Everyone,
First off I am REALLY happy to have found this board!
I started my S.H.E. journey around 16 years ago. I was always a messy child, or rather always had a messy bedroom, I was an only child and first Grandbaby on both sides, PLUS I had major surgery at 2 1/2 (open heart, I had a hole so ASD repair) So, I just had TOO MUCH STUFF. However this started a lifelong battle with clutter, coupled by having family taught hoarding tendencies. Not like BAD BAD, but nothing really goes "away" here, it tends to go "to the Attic" or get shuffled to the next in line. I live around my family so here is also my childhood home area, but we are in a different house (there are 2 houses on the property owned by my Grandparents, and my Uncle lives next door as well, in a remodeled Barn turned house, then my family of 7 in the farmhouse) I could write a memoir on the houses!
As a teen I would try and do the room all nice and clean and "OH I'll just keep it that way" thing... yeah that never really stuck. At 18 I had quite the year. I had a baby, lost my mother to a blood clot, got married, and moved into my own house. I seemed to not be adjusting fast enough for some people, so my Dad came in and made a bunch of threats (we no longer are in contact due to this) but that sort of got me on a "I need to keep things cleaner" thing. MIND you NONE of the "issue areas" was my Daughter near, and some were just nitpicking to peg my Husband on something. The thought process was to "help" me I guess, as you can imagine it DIDN'T help, it just made things worse, since I was not really able to grieve properly. I mean having a baby doesn't allow much time to grieve. She was around 10 months old when the event happened.
So I tried to find things to help with a skill set I never really learned how to do. My Mom and I lived with family most of the time I was growing up so she had some help. We did have some time just us but we had school and work so we just were not home much, and a family of 2 is easier to manage than 3, or 4, or 7....
I found some family member had a copy of "Get Your Act Together" and I tried to set it up, I'm not sure what happened then, but somewhere between adding a new baby and moving and selling the house it didn't stick.
Fast Forward a few years, trying to reconcile with my Father, living near him and trying to "prove" I could actually do it. I found Flylady, it took me a bit to discover it was based on S.H.E. and I was thrilled. And it worked for a bit. Including through a preschooler, a toddler, and a TWIN pregnancy, and a bit after they were born. It was however, on and off during this time. I really feel like a Flylady failure! A few points I would set up a cardfile again and try that. I even ventured out into the other realms of organization.
I tried
Motivated Moms (which was like a LIFESAVER for a bit but I would forget to check the list for weeks, "clip children's nails" was FANTASTIC for a time)
"unfilth" your habitat (it isn't really filth but another word that starts with an f)
A Slob Comes Clean (though I didn't really DO much I would just read some)
Messies Anonymous
I am sure there are others, BUT each time I would start I'd go "this all says the same thing" and TRY to go back to Flylady. OR a few times the standard Cardfile
The cardfile makes my heart sing so much more than the others, but again it is staying power I struggle with. At this point I'm like an "expert" that can't seem to get things to work FOR ME! So I find myself here so I can share what works, get insight on what isn't sticking. And maybe find some support along the way.
I was REALLY worried at first that this forum would be a dead one but was SO happy to find that it was alive and well. I don't know how much time I'll have to post a ton but after looking and finding a FEW tips I thought it best I just sign up!
Apologies for this being so long, yet this is the cliff notes version!
First off I am REALLY happy to have found this board!
I started my S.H.E. journey around 16 years ago. I was always a messy child, or rather always had a messy bedroom, I was an only child and first Grandbaby on both sides, PLUS I had major surgery at 2 1/2 (open heart, I had a hole so ASD repair) So, I just had TOO MUCH STUFF. However this started a lifelong battle with clutter, coupled by having family taught hoarding tendencies. Not like BAD BAD, but nothing really goes "away" here, it tends to go "to the Attic" or get shuffled to the next in line. I live around my family so here is also my childhood home area, but we are in a different house (there are 2 houses on the property owned by my Grandparents, and my Uncle lives next door as well, in a remodeled Barn turned house, then my family of 7 in the farmhouse) I could write a memoir on the houses!
As a teen I would try and do the room all nice and clean and "OH I'll just keep it that way" thing... yeah that never really stuck. At 18 I had quite the year. I had a baby, lost my mother to a blood clot, got married, and moved into my own house. I seemed to not be adjusting fast enough for some people, so my Dad came in and made a bunch of threats (we no longer are in contact due to this) but that sort of got me on a "I need to keep things cleaner" thing. MIND you NONE of the "issue areas" was my Daughter near, and some were just nitpicking to peg my Husband on something. The thought process was to "help" me I guess, as you can imagine it DIDN'T help, it just made things worse, since I was not really able to grieve properly. I mean having a baby doesn't allow much time to grieve. She was around 10 months old when the event happened.
So I tried to find things to help with a skill set I never really learned how to do. My Mom and I lived with family most of the time I was growing up so she had some help. We did have some time just us but we had school and work so we just were not home much, and a family of 2 is easier to manage than 3, or 4, or 7....
I found some family member had a copy of "Get Your Act Together" and I tried to set it up, I'm not sure what happened then, but somewhere between adding a new baby and moving and selling the house it didn't stick.
Fast Forward a few years, trying to reconcile with my Father, living near him and trying to "prove" I could actually do it. I found Flylady, it took me a bit to discover it was based on S.H.E. and I was thrilled. And it worked for a bit. Including through a preschooler, a toddler, and a TWIN pregnancy, and a bit after they were born. It was however, on and off during this time. I really feel like a Flylady failure! A few points I would set up a cardfile again and try that. I even ventured out into the other realms of organization.
I tried
Motivated Moms (which was like a LIFESAVER for a bit but I would forget to check the list for weeks, "clip children's nails" was FANTASTIC for a time)
"unfilth" your habitat (it isn't really filth but another word that starts with an f)
A Slob Comes Clean (though I didn't really DO much I would just read some)
Messies Anonymous
I am sure there are others, BUT each time I would start I'd go "this all says the same thing" and TRY to go back to Flylady. OR a few times the standard Cardfile
The cardfile makes my heart sing so much more than the others, but again it is staying power I struggle with. At this point I'm like an "expert" that can't seem to get things to work FOR ME! So I find myself here so I can share what works, get insight on what isn't sticking. And maybe find some support along the way.
I was REALLY worried at first that this forum would be a dead one but was SO happy to find that it was alive and well. I don't know how much time I'll have to post a ton but after looking and finding a FEW tips I thought it best I just sign up!
Apologies for this being so long, yet this is the cliff notes version!
