Good afternoon everyone. I guess I will be in motion today, it's errand time.
Harriet wrote:what happened to that future in which we weren't going to have so many errands
I never heard of this. This weekend on the house and yard work front was an unparalleled success. I even got a start on my Halloween costume shirt. I got everything on my Friday list, except that I could not do any swamp cooler work. My instructions are on the computer that is in the shop. I have arranged an echocardiogram for Briggs, whose life expectancy is not all that great. This will tell us how bad and what comfort measures will be most useful. I got DD15 to guitar lessons, practice for youth led service, and to BOTH services on Sunday. Wasn't too thrilled about having to get up early, but did it.
And then Sunday afternoon it all went to Hades. DD had homework that required internet and could not get it to work. I was in the bathroom at the time and by the time I got out, she was hitting things, shouting, and coming close to breaking her computer and possibly my phone. I wasn't in there very long! My first attempt at fixing didn't work and she was so horrible, I ended up slapping her. That always results in threats to call police. I figured out what was wrong, there were two spelling mistakes rather than one when she typed in her email. I left her to work outside, but just got madder and madder. When I came in I apologized for slapping her, but told her the reason she did not live with me is because of behavior like this. It's actually true, but she didn't need to hear that. In fact, it used to be worse. Before the divorce she would punch me, and the x would do nothing because the counselor had told him we needed to fight our own battles. What she learned was "it doesn't matter what I do to mom unless it gets so bad she screams for dad to help". DD said the reason we don't get along is "we are too much alike", a line she is parroting from her father. A line he uses only when she does something terrible, because he never believed there were any problems with her, only me. He blames me for absolutely hating motherhood. And why should I like it? All it did was make me into a target, attacked from two directions. The counselor also thought that the solution to all our problems was very simple. DD would magically get better if we just had another child. Even the x saw through that nonsense. He never saw another counselor, because obviously they didn't work and he didn't have any problems. Of course not, he WAS the problem! They say time heals all wounds, but it is a lie. With time, I have realized just how awful things were with him. I am not closer to forgiveness, I am closer to hatred. So, I am stuck dealing with the only two things I have not seen covered in the Bible. It makes no mention of people who regret having children and does not say when/if euthanizing animals is acceptable.
A recurring phrase in the mystery novel I read at lunch is "try not to be morose". I am not succeeding very well. I guess I can only handle a max of 24 hours with DD. It's a good thing I fought like heck to have split Saturday/Sunday rather than alternating weekends.