Do the Deed Tuesday

[Kathryn-in-Canada]

I've mainly dozed since my last post. Ate a banana and drank some coke. Had dh bring me soup but it isn't helping so I'm taking that really slowly.

The bedroom is really cold now because the windows were open all afternoon so dh came up to check on me and was shaking badly. I made him climb under the covers with me to warm up. I, on the other hand, was just fine so obviously my temp is up.

Dd has called to say she's on her way home, despite the early hour. She doesn't drive much and is terrified of driving in the storm (which is bad right now and still hasn't started in earnest yet.) She told us not to worry if it takes her a long time to get home. She is taking back roads the whole way. The city has grown up so much that it is almost possible for her to get all the way home with only a few miles of open country driving.

[OKay]

Today went as well as can be. It was good to be together....plenty of tears but also hugs and just pleasure of being together. After DBro viewing, some of us (26) went out to eat Chinese tonight. DParents didn't go to the viewing, but they are going to the funeral. Two people asked me today if DDad will make it through the funeral tomorrow. I think he will. Every aspect of it has been thought through with DParent in mind. Who will drive DParents van, who will be on hand to lift DDad if needed, where DDad will sit - how to get him there - Where can DDad take his treatment - we have a plan for that too. DMom has consulted with the hospice nurse and they have developed a plan to give DDad morphine in his nebulizer before the service starts. There is just no way DParent can bare to not attend DBro funeral, so we will just get through it the best we can. I will call them at 5:30 in the morning so they can start getting ready.

I've decided to take LO tomorrow. He was well behaved at the viewing and wants to attend tomorrow. DBro grandsons are attending the funeral too so LO won't be the only young child there. I'm a little awed how LO seems to understand more about death than i thought he could grasp.

I find myself wondering if my posts of death, funeral, arraignments is upsetting to someone here. I apologize and will stop posting about it if it does bother anyone. I've always been taught that death is just a part of life - not always a pleasant part, but one that can't be avoided. Maybe I am too insensitive though - I do apologize if I am. I don't mean to be disrespectful in any way.

[Nancy]

Granny duty is over now. I've picked up the basement, and we've had dinner I spiffed up the kitchen also got the microwave cleaned it was in dire need of that! So now that the house is in order I'm relaxing this evening taking a water break. It was good to see the grand kids all playing together today they had fun!

[Kathryn-in-Canada]

As far as I'm concerned, OKay, keep posting. We lost two parents at Christmas so you couldn't make it any worse for us. Sure, I'm crying (mainly for your parents, I remember how much my dad still hurt a decade after my sister died) but that's just fine. Tears and laughter are both part of life, and good memories can be formed from both.

I remember my cousin's children drawing pictures at the visitation to put into the casket of their great-grandfather, and one put his favourite toy car in too, because "great-grandpa loved cars so much" (he was a mechanic.) So it makes perfect sense to me to have LO there.

I've been up for a few hours now. On my first 15, I tidied the kitchen a little bit (putting things away from the stash and dash from yesterday) and ran a load of laundry. While it was running, I watched a movie with dd. Now on my next 15, I'll hang the laundry up before bed. The dishwasher is running now and I'm having a snack. Someone brought be a loaf of homemade raisin bread so dd suggested I try a piece of raisin toast on my tummy. So far, so good.

Dh heard from dd's godfamily and they are coming on the 31st and leaving on the 1st. No word if their son will stay on with us until the 3rd (when the residence at the university reopens.) That would save them a 3.5 hour drive in this direction when they have to go three hours in the opposite direction to move their daughter into her apartment for the upcoming term of school. They didn't plan well when they had the kids go to schools in opposite directions (Twin's can sympathize with that!)

[Indiana]

OKay keep posting. For me it is a fact of life.

[Harmony]

OKay, your postings don't bother me. I am admiring how your family is coming together during this time.

I'm sorry Kathryn and Booksaver are ill. I hope their illnesses are short-lived.

I worked today on my calendar for next year. I keep a good-sized one on the wall right outside my kitchen and it is my lifeline. The only thing I don't like is that it is up pretty high with big bulletin board beneath. That means I have to fold under the pretty pictures that come with each month. Anyway, I did get to transfer all the things I keep track of year to year, all the birthdays, license renewals, tax payments due dates, etc.

I've considered doing this electronically, but my calendar is so easy! I'm set up for next year, yay!

[lucylee]

OKay -- I don't think you should stop posting about dbro's death... and I am definitely in agreement re: need for some lessons on how to maintain calm in the face of the storm -- not just with this, but ALL you have faced recently -- all the ups & downs re: LO, what the situation would be, etc... You have just done so well with EVERYTHING.
Also, re: LO's attendance. Dinlaws seem to sorta want to protect children from death, and they always INSISTED on keeping ds whenever dh & I had to attend a visitation or funeral. However, in my family, I remember so many home visitations, and I -- and other children -- were always in attendance. (Do y'all remember that, too, or is it just a regional thing? Bringing the deceased to someone's house for the visitation, I mean. I think the last time I attended one was in the very early 80s.)

Dmom lost her maternal grandfather on Christmas Day... over 40 years ago. It was sooo hard on her. I still remember that day so vividly, and I was only six or seven at the time. We were at ddad's parents' house when she got the news, and had planned to go by the hospital and see him later -- so of course, she always regretted that we hadn't gone there first. She was only 22 you know, at the time. She realized later that he might not have even known she was there... but she hated it so much at the time.

DH & I went to see his daunt today, still in ICU. His cousins were there, and he was glad he went, but he hated sooo much to see his daunt at this point. She was truly like a second grandmother to him, and it is really hurting him to lose her, too.

(((BIG BIG HUGS))) for Kathryn & BookSaver!!! Ooohhh... this sounds like a REALLY bad bug -- if it's not food poisoning.

DS baked a ham for our Christmas Eve dinner, and almost immediately after eating a couple slices, I had to make a pretty hasty retreat to the restroom... but no one else complained -- except their dog, who had a HORRIBLE episode of stomach distress after eating her treat of ham. So -- who knows if that is what caused MY episode or not?
Could be just nerves hitting me on Christmas Eve... thinking about a baby coming... and ddil out of work... and ds in a pretty slow time work-wise, himself... and what in the world are they going to do, I keep wondering. And of course, we're not going to let them starve, but oh. my. goodness. I do wish things would sorta stabilize for them financially. (And btw, I appear to be the only person concerned about this at all. They seem happy as larks.)

I could use lessons from Kathryn on how to "keep on keeping on" too. Wow. You're doing 15s after a night like you had??? Wow. If I'd had a night like you, I don't think I'd move from under the covers for AT LEAST a day. You go, girl.

CI re: my DEEDS for the day --
[x] cleaners
[x] ironing lady
-- [x] bank
-- [x] post office
-- dh did these two while ironing lady pinned my pants for hemming
[x] drug store
[x] call place where I have to return dh's Christmas gift
-- they will send correct item & mailing label to return incorrect item. Very successful call. Very friendly help.
[x] visit daunt in hospital
[x] visit dinlaws, deliver rx
-- much frustration b/c 100 One Touch Test Strips have apparently disappeared since last Thursday, and cannot be refilled on rx now, since they were just filled Thursday, and replacements cost over $1 each... so that is $100+ to get dfil to next refill. * sheesh *
[x] went to see The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo w/ds & ddil...
-- and it IS a very interesting story... but MUCH violence/sex/nudity/etc

I guess that's enough for today. I shall retire to the couch now.

[atlanticflyer]

(((okay))) sorry for your loss, i am just jumping in right now so am not getting the whole story

sorry for those who are sick, i had the flu a couple weeks ago and it lingered for days

Christmas is over thank goodness, had/having an awful holiday so far we stayed in NB for the first time in years and just had Christmas with the 4 of us. on the 16th of December my 16 year old newly licensed driver was involved in an accident. he is okay thank goodness but the insurance company is putting us through h**l. i downgraded my insurance package this fall thinking that luxuries such as window and rental were taken off not knowing that they also removed collsion, I thought it was part of a basic package. it wasn't and i guess it is my fault for not reviewing the fine print. as a result i have had no vehicle. my company refuses to put the accident through the other insurance company (in NB we have no fault insurance so my insurance compnay has to go through the other company). they won't review a police report or even look at it. this is what happended, he was making a left turn into our driveway, the car behind him decides to pass him on the left crashing into the drivers side. the other guy admitted at fault at the scene, saw the signal lights etc. he was even charged at the scene. he is 100 percent at fault. the insurance company wants to make us take 75 percent of the liability, I am fighting this. if they do my insurance rates go up, my son loses points on his license, i am responsible to pay entirely for my 8000 dollar car. on top of it all they were closed for a week and have made no move on the claim, an appraisor hasn't even been out to see the car. my health is not great, my chronic lung infection is worse, my OCD is at an all time high and I don't have a way to get to appointments anyhow sorry to dump on you all but I am off work for two weeks and am feeling very isolated in all this

Dawn elise has been checking in? thats' great!

[atlanticflyer]

lucylee I read TGWTDT and wasn't impressed

[atlanticflyer]

oops posted on the wrong day, sigh it has been that kindof a week