Wednesday Wearing Many Hats

[helia]

((DawnE)) It's nice to see you here today! I don't always stop by in the evening, so I missed your posts last night. We had a timer for our son when he was under our roof. 2.5 hours/week of computer game time.

I'm back from a jog. Boy, was that slow. I threw out my back a little this a.m. when I knelt down with a basket of laundry. I herniated a disc when I was 19yo, and it will bother me from time to time. I stopped doing back exercises b/c it was doing fine with regular exercise. I think b/c I've stopped jogging/exercising regularly, the muscles have weakened. Anyhow, the jog wasn't particularly painful once I figured out how to position my body, and I went quite slowly.

Rice is made. Leftover chicken cacciatore is heating in the mw. Broccoli is roasting in the oven. Dd17 is getting dressed for her concert. I'd like to leave in 20 minutes to go see it, but dh isn't home yet. .. I'll call him. LOL! Right as I typed that he called and said he's en route home.

I don't remember if I posted goals for the day, but I have picked up the van, prepped for subbing, subbed at payroll, and jogged.

After the concert, I need to put together my syllabus. I won't have time tomorrow between moms group and the time I need to leave for work.

[DawnElise]

Yes, I did take the Ativan, soon after getting up I took 1; then, another 1/2 of one 45 (?) minutes later (I can't remember). Then I dressed, groomed, fixed my food, and sat with therapist on the front porch for session. With lunch I took my Lexapro; when therapist left I packed a bag and took my bike down to the bike path/Nature Park near my house.

I sat on the benches for a bit and then remembered the pain patch I'm using has instructions that I should not exercise to the point of raising my body temperature, nor sun bathe, so I came on back home and changed to cooler clothes, grabbed some frozen blueberries, and some coconut milk dairy free So Delicious, and laid down to cool off. I am listening to Debbie Macomber's audiobook, Twenty Wishes. It is very relaxing.

It had been very hot at the park. Lots of sun here; feels like summer!

Therapist's advice re: tomorrow was to take care of myself, no one is going to do it for me, I have to ask the questions that matter to ME, and to ask the guy for what *I* want.

I'm not anti-chemo therapy, don't get me wrong; I believe it saved my life....they gave me 2-4 months to live if I did not do it. That was September, so it's been over 7 months, and I'm not in NEAR the pain I was in before diagnosis. Did I tell you all that the tumors in the breast are completely gone, (!) and that at least since January 28, no spread to organs or lymph nodes, and though cancer is still in the bones, it is "improved" there also. : )

The trouble I'm having -and the reason I am wanting to get a second opinion-is because I want to add to my care *palliative" type therapies that will help me cope with the side effects that are remaining. Current oncologist doesn't want me to do that until I finish herceptin and of course Arimadex. I think he himself wants me to get a 2nd opinion too because of my resistance to Arimadex. Maybe the new onc. has an alternative to that. He *is* with UCLA, and I saw a video of another UCLA onc. who said there are two other options, and she's glad because *so many* women have difficulty with it.

I also want to find a doctor who has more patience with me and will explain things I don't understand.

[DawnElise]

Kathryn, I have considered and done similar solutions such as shutting off the breaker to the tv. Your router idea is a good one to discuss with husband.

My son has an added, complicating problem of poor appetite and doesn't think of eating until he gets off screens. When I am not able to enforce rules like screens done at 6pm - and DH doesn't feel like enforcing them either, he'll let DS12 stay on till super late, and like clockwork, at the moment of disengagement, DS gravitates to the kitchen, often leaving food out overnight.

What I WISH could happen is what I did about 10 days ago when DH was gone: I had the energy and strength to fix my son three squares at the table, at regular times, full 3 item meals, and he actually ate better than he has in ages!

That day also happened to be a day when no one else was home, son was home sick from school, AND I had put a Moratorium on screens that day-in other words none, zero, zilch ....just to help him heal from his cough and to help him see for himself that he could *live without screens*!!

I think the biggest reason there is not a set protocol happening in this house is because a) DH and DW disagree on details, b)DH and DW both have health issues, c) we'll set up new rules and then won't enforce consistently due to b) above, and d) son is addicted, hooked to screens, and ......--oh! -there are more but I feel like this is just a whole bunch of excuse making!!!

I just want a) for us to agree on the rules and b) for us to BOTH be able to Follow Through when it's hard, inconvenient, or we're not feeling well.

I also need to either pack or supervise DS's packing his own school lunch. If I don't, he goes with very little nourishment, but I many times cannot get up in the morning, nor do I feel like "making" son do it the night before-- I just can't handle the grumping moodiness resistance and back talk. And let's say today I have the energy to make him make his lunch, that is coming to my son out of the blue----- with his aspergers or low executive functioning, that causes a great deal of resistance! Why we csnt get behavioral technicians into the home for HIM and not just DD who happens to have full blown autism, I can't understand!!

But I CANT let my son take junk like cup of noodles to school (by letting him pack his own) and than live with the guilt of my 12 year old boy being malnourished if allowed to do that year after year.

[DawnElise]

CathyS That is an ingenious idea of putting the lock in the plug prong.....you would use a drill to put the hole in, correct? I also love your idea on picking music for dinner---so cool! And helps make memories!

If we can get our 2nd car purchased then we can get our kids back into brainbalancecenters.com and that will help them both with their Functional Brain Disconnection syndrome....my hopes from that is that -especially in the case of dS12-- he will branch out and become a more well rounded person,. As it is now, he spends inordinate amounts of time in his room, asks for a screen all the time, is becoming depressed, a loner, very reclusive. He eats in his room unless someone has a meal plan for supper and we all eat at the table, he cannot clean his own room unless hovered over and it is broken down into baby steps, complete with Reward. Again, I see that so much of the solution to our problem is two functional parents who can head up the routines and enforce the rules of this house!!!! That's just the only Real Solution I see!!!

[Sunny]

Hello to Everyone; it's nice to be here with you all today. It was a nice spring day here, in the low 80*s with just a few clouds.

I wore a few different hats today....
Maid --- daily chores, cleaning and decluttering.
Fast Food Chef --- preparing and serving lunch and supper.
Data Entry Clerk --- checking email and entering meals for today.
Laundress --- collected enough clothes to do another lol.
Dog Whisperer --- let ddogs out and in numerous times, gave them lots of water.
Lawn & Garden Worker --- finally managed to drag the huge limb from under the tree to a different spot in the yard (so dson won't have to work under the tree to saw up the logs) and raked some of the smaller twigs into a pile.
Mother --- I talked to ds#2 as he called while on his way home from work.

Helia, I enjoyed hearing the prom stories. Things sure are different than when I was in school!

Cathy, were you able to get your Ott light? They are wonderful, aren't they!

LadyM, hope there is no flooding in your area!

Wow, Harmony, you are really brave to drive that big truck! Hope you had a good nap!

Dawn, ((hugs)) and prayers!

Nancy, sounds like the chicks are learning the routine!

Greetings to everyone, enjoy your evening!

[Nancy]

My dinner is done. power sprayer is done next door for now. I did a brief walk, had a nap. H is home. Speaking of hats I ripped one out today. I post pics of projects fb from time to time. I cannot get em to upload here.

[Kathryn-in-Canada]

Dawn: not sure if finances allow but could you hire an evening nanny who would care for all you? Someone from 4 - 9 each day. S/he'd have the energy to get a dinner on the table, engage the kids to prepare their lunches and be the 'tough cop' all of you need.

Back from the movie, Zootopia. We had coupons expiring at the end of the month and had been meaning to watch it for over a month so bit the bullet and went to the big theatre (I'm sure it will be at the second run in a week or so.) We enjoyed it although I found the moral a bit heavy handed.

While eating dinner, a number of our radiators began a major drain, the sound of water rushing out of them was disturbing. No sign of water in our unit so the system was being drained but there was no indication that they were being worked on so I phoned it in. It turns out there was a problem with boiler and the isolating valves didn't work so they had to drain the whole thing so they could fix the issue before tonight (it is going down to freezing tonight.) Was assured the place would have heat. Of course, I hadn't noticed the heat was off (it is very hot and sunny today) but when we came home the apartment was really hot despite windows being open, so it is obviously back on.

[Harmony]

I didn't drive the BIG truck today, I was in the pickup following it down the road. Actually the dump truck is easier to drive than the pickup. I don't have a lot of flexibility in my neck and back any more and turning to look in back is hard. When I am backing out of a parking spot, I always leave my seat belt off until after I've backed out because I must turn my whole body in the seat and I can't do that with the belt on. DH just uses his big outside mirrors, but I'm not as comfortable with that.

Had to make 2 more trips up to job, one to take gas out there for the rental equipment before it ran out (rental co. used to provide but they've changed policies) and the 2nd trip with the big window. I stayed the 2nd time and helped DH as he was surveying with his transit and I held the ruler at different spots. I haven't done that with him for a long while. We have a subcontractor who does our site/shell work now, but this time we had to do some of it because a big truck could never have gotten back there with fill. I took rental equipment back on my way home.

Came home on "empty" me not the truck and stopped for frozen yogurt, needed a sit down break and some calories. I managed to get bunch of groceries coming home from 2nd trip, some basics and some stuff to make that drink with. I got all the laundry caught up but 1 load and sheets will come in when everything is dry.

3 hour nap, I was exhausted. Woke 8:30PM and did dishes; got something to eat, folded 1 LOL, did some tidying in master bath and closet. A bottle had tipped over, I had liquid to clean out of plastic bin and other bottles it dripped on.

When I couldn't get around very well with my foot, I kept dailies up. It didn't look bad on the surface. Now I'm getting caught up in the second layer down.

Dawn, I hope you feel better. Just keep doing whatever you can for yourself and for your son. Just tell him the rules. You might not do everything perfectly, and you might not be consistent, but you just keep doing what you can. Hopefully things will get better / easier.

[Lilac]

Dawn, I join you in being angry at the pharmaceutical companies hold over cancer care and I am convinced that they are withholding the cure for diabetes. They make multi billions a year from cancer drugs and diabetes drugs. It is a real sore spot for me. ((((Dawn))))

[Kathryn-in-Canada]

Dawn: Another idea. No screen time until an appropriate lunch is made for the following day. That plus no screen time after 9 would go a long way to making your household run more smoothly.

Your kids are 12 and 11, that is more than old enough to do their share of chores, especially when Mom isn't well. If anything, it gives them some way to help you. You know how important routines are to all of you, so you need to strongly encourage them to be followed.

You also have to let go at times. If the noodles your son wants to take to school contain cocaine or trigger life threatening food allergies, then by all means object. But if they just aren't as healthy as you'd like him to be eating, then think about how important that is to you. You can't have it all, pick the important battles. Sleep is more important for brain development than computer time. Some nutrition is more important than holding out for a fully balanced, organic, vegan diet and ending up in fights or tears over lunch prep.