Checked J&C...
Had an attitude adjustment here. Taking the attitude that it is better to DO something, ANYthing, as opposed to sitting and sulking and/or arguing with a grumpy dh (who I forgot to tell y'all, is STILL not feeling just right physically, either. I think he EXPECTS to feel 100% better every day, since doctor released him for 6 months, and when he feels some better, he pushes himself too much, and finds he still gets very tired, very easily, which depresses him.)
I think it’s more than ok to say that it would b easier for u to drop of meds when u two are out - he may huff and puff at first but if u say how it will help u mqybe he will think about it and realize it is easier for you.
Well, yes,
blessed, if we were dealing with any normal human being, that would be quite true.
OTOH, I have little doubt that dh would test on the spectrum just as much as dgs... I can't tell you how long he spent tonight, organizing soft drink cans in the refrigerator!
And he was very frustrated during the whole process. When he gets something in his head, it is just very difficult to convince him any other way is feasible.
And I can't exactly just pick up a 220 lb man and buckle him in his booster seat and say we're stopping whether you like it or not. He really is a good man, y'all, I promise. He just gets stressed very easily, and he can't handle stress well at all... I think he actually has panic attacks that affect him physically, just like I do when some unreasonable anxiety about social situations and things like that cause my mind to start spinning.
HOWEVER, I
AM going to take the meds with us and after we drop off the old SUV w/dfriends, perhaps he WILL see that, NOOOO, this did NOT take NEARLY as long as he feared.
ANYWAY -- thinking about the things I CAN control, rather than the things I cannot, I have much to toot my horn about now!
* s/s all three toilets
* cleaned dh's shower
* washed two loads of clothes -- one hanging to dry now, one soon will be
* cooked supper
* s/s kitchen
* called dfriend who is buying old SUV, told her we should be able to deliver tomorrow
* sent text to lady who (used to) paint porcelain Easter eggs -- and found that she is still taking a break from this, just as she was last year
* logged food today in fitbit (apparently I am through eating for the day. It has been a while since I took time to log foods. Last night, dgs wanted Mexican and we obliged... lots of chips and salsa... weight is up, up, up...)
ALSO -- lady from the assisted living place called and *** HOORAY *** -- It is only $127 per day to do "respite" care there, and -- they agree w/friend in home health agency that the home health nurses will come to her there, just as they would at home. So... maybe this will work out after all.
Hope things go well with the new division manager,
Elizabeth.
I wholeheartedly agree with you that dd's doctor should be the one determining when and what type of diet she needs. Good for you!
Thinking of men living on their own. Never having been on his own was definitely a problem of my late ddad's. His mother and sister waited on him hand & foot, along with his dad, and his brother. I think men were expected to work hard outside the house, but once they came in the door, the women of the house were at their beck and call.
This is
not dh's problem by any means. His dmom was the youngest of seven children, and her father passed away when she was two years old. Dfil was also the youngest and lost his mother when he was eleven. Neither one of them ever had ANYONE catering to them for anything, and although dh & his brother were a little spoiled b/c their parents were in a much better financial situation as adults than they had experienced as children themselves, from what I gather, they didn't really expect ds & his brother to think someone was going to be catering to their every desire. OTOH, they always had a housekeeper and sometimes she would cook for them as well, so dh & dbil didn't have to take on a lot of chores. They did make a lot of allowances for dh, I think, b/c of his severe allergies, so there was never any yard mowing and stuff like that for him, so he grew up with parents who could pay for whatever needed done around the house... and now that we are NOT able to pay for things like having the house painted every year, or the driveway resurfaced, or a landscaping service... it's kind of a reality check for us in a way. My parents would have just painted the house themselves, and done the landscaping, cleaned the carpets, etc. I have even been the one to pick up shingles while my ddad put a new roof on the house himself.
Anyway -- dh lived with roommates in college. I suspect none of them cared one bit what their apartment or trailer looked like, so I think dmil probably did a lot of laundry & cleaning when she visited for football weekends.
Cathy said:
I never get told what to do or what someone else thinks I should do. As a result, sometimes I don't do anything.
Ddad was EXTREMELY good at supervising, telling me I wasn't doing something right, "Look, Lucy, do it THIS way..." -- and I think that is why I am such a perfectionist and have such guilt over not DOING enough now.
Dmom said she was cleaning house and cooking supper by the time she was 12 years old, as her dmom always worked outside the home. She says that's probably why she wanted to get married at 15; she figured she would have more fun cleaning her own house and cooking for her husband.
She also says that is why she didn't push me harder to learn to cook and do all those things when I was growing up; she didn't really WANT me to think I was capable of running my own home at 15. That may be why I'm so hesitant to cook now, though.
But I digress.
So far as
Elizabeth's x & the new wife go... I think they quite deserve each other!
(((HUGS))) for your dmom!
(((
LordM))) Hope the skin surgery goes smoothly and he can forget all about it soon!
So glad your leak is fixed,
Harriet!
WTG with your day,
Kathryn! Sounds like things are progressing well for the new family.
Hope your dd feels better soon!
Thinking of your dd, too,
blessed! And (((HUGS))) for you and your frozen shoulder!
I began wondering if we all put too much emphasis on it all. Should we just be living an interesting life doing things we need or like and do the upkeep of our homes as a not important thing, just doing what needs done whenever we can. We seem to put a whole lot of effort and time into scheduling little things like dusting a room, etc. I'll bet if we lined up all our schedules or cards or bullet journals they'd make a belt around the equator.
Pretty sure I agree with you,
Harmony! I KNOW dh would agree with you 1000%. AND ds/ddil.
I also know that somewhere in the back of my mind, I fear that, as Peg Bracken said, if I never did certain rooms of my house, eventually I'd have to saw them off!
I know it made me feel better to get the bathrooms s/s today... and I know it is MUCH easier to do it if I do it regularly (particularly dh's shower stall.)
And I know I always FEEL better when the house is clean, vacuum marks on the carpet and no dust bunnies lingering.
OTOH... I'm really glad you said this, b/c it IS easy to get our priorities out of whack, I think, and forget that the important thing -- for me tonight, for example, ISN'T whether or not dh is walking on freshly vacuumed carpet, but whether or not dh is healthy. And if dmom has surgery, my life will be a lot more hectic, running errands for her and everything... but that IS the important thing, not whether I have done my zone cleaning for the next six weeks.
I think the upside of routines for me is probably this: if I am DOING my routines, I feel accomplished and proud of myself, and I am pleased to know I haven't wasted my day eating or surfing the net or just being lazy and dragging around all day.
If I do my routines, and then feel I want to take a nap or just veg out on the couch and play with my phone, then I feel like I've earned that time... but if I'm NOT doing anything on any of my cards, and I spend my day being a slug -- then I just feel guilty and embarrassed at myself, and that leads to depression. So I really should look at my cards as a good mental health exercise, while also remembering that those cards are NOT the reason for my existence.
Hope you're having good weather for outside work,
Nancy!
IKWYM about one fingered typing,
Dee! That is why it is sooo difficult for me to post on the phone when dh is tying up the computer with all his ballgames... shaking my head...
(((
Mr. Sunny)))
One last load in the washer -- dh got Sharpie marker on his khaki pants... trying to get that out... y'all wish me luck! I put rubbing alcohol on it, then sprayed it with peroxide/Dawn detergent mixture. Cold water wash. We'll soon see.
Hope you all have a good night and a good day tomorrow. Thanks for helping pull me out of my terrible, horrible, no good, very bad afternoon!