You have got this! monday

The daily PWYC thread, where we gather to keep in touch, keep accountable and keep motivating each other.
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lucylee
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Re: You have got this! monday

Postby lucylee » Mon Mar 05, 2018 6:47 pm

AAAUGUGUHHHH!!!
MEN. :evil: :P UGH.
* SHEESH *

DH is in a mood -- mainly b/c the promised SUV has NOT arrived YET... but salesman says it is ON IT'S WAY... approx 40 miles away, in fact, but will not arrive before closing today. It will be unloaded today (he SAYS) and will be ready for pick up by noon tomorrow.
So... dh is aggravated.

He says tomorrow we will get up and go straight to the dealership and get that car; we will not pass go, we will not collect $200, we will not stop at dmom's to deliver meds.
And when we leave there, we will go straight to dfriends house, deliver old SUV, go straight to insurance office and get insurance done, and go straight to tag office and get tag done. We will not pass go, we will not collect $200, we will not stop at dmom's to deliver meds.
So -- I can either go to dmom's after supper tonight or after supper tomorrow (either one will be fine with her, as long as I am there by bedtime tomorrow night) -- but we are doing NOTHING until all the details are taken care of re: this car!

* whew *
When he gets in a mood like this, it just takes the wind out of my sails.

Also, dmom is now saying she MIGHT be able to stay at home alone after foot surgery, w/the home health nurse coming and the home PT coming... and me running errands, I'm sure... and I'm just ready to tear out my hair.
Private rehab in facility would run about $500 per day. So that's like twice what 24 hour in-home care would be, IF we used people we know... 2/3 of whom are somewhat unreliable.
I am still waiting for friend at assisted living to call & tell me what their price would be, where she would get the home-health style rehab, but at least there would be someone ON CALL 24/7.

So... now I'M in a mood too, and it makes me just want to curl up somewhere and eat myself into a sugar coma.
Tomorrow is another day.

Elizabeth
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Re: You have got this! monday

Postby Elizabeth » Mon Mar 05, 2018 6:53 pm

Just met with our division manager. That was nerve wracking. Not that it went badly, it's just the sort of thing that makes me nervous. He is new (to the position, not the division) and is going around meeting everyone. I had to tell him what I do. When I list it, it doesn't sound like much.

Unlike CathyS, my x has never had to do anything for himself. First his mother handled all life's pesky details, then me, then the other woman who he later married. He has never been on his own. Everyone should live completely on his or her own for a minimum of a year, preferably longer. She calls herself OCD on cleaning, she wasn't before she married the x. DD reports that "she has to have everything perfect". Probably because she will get no peace if it isn't. Hint: if you want perfect, don't marry my x. She has my pity, and my gratitude (if it wasn't for her, I might still be married to him). She does not have my respect and she doesn't look happy anymore. The x still tries to tell me what to do, particularly in regard to DD16's diet. He wants her on a diet controlled by him. Her doctor does not. He is afraid she is going to be fat. The doctor is treating her for hyperthyroid and worries about too much weight loss. Unless her doctor specifies this low-carb bandwagon for her, it's not happening. And, she can have all the soda she wants in my house (which usually isn't much).

My LISTS tell me what to do. They never nag or criticize, just keep things in my memory bank.

Sending a plate of virtual cookies and camomile tea to lucylee. Along with some hugs. And a suggestion to curl up with a good book.

blessedw2
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Re: You have got this! monday

Postby blessedw2 » Mon Mar 05, 2018 7:01 pm

At drs office waiting - d Lucy - I’ll add to d Elizabeth s camomile tea - i have some scones (())

Hi d Elizabeth

Hi d cathy

Hello to anyone I can’t see on my phone - thinking of all of u ❤️
it is always a joy to be here with you!

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lucylee
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Re: You have got this! monday

Postby lucylee » Mon Mar 05, 2018 7:02 pm

Blessed, you got us off to such a good start, and I was going at such a good start... and now I'm just mad and frustrated and pouting.

I started off the day w/phone call to allergy doctor -- whom I cannot see until sometime NEXT week -- 14th or later, and they close at noon on the 14th. But she said I did not have to have an appt, I could just walk in and get allergy shots at that time. By then, I will have skipped two weeks, but I'm not too concerned -- I skipped more than that when the little fiasco happened that had the two allergy shot nurses leaving abruptly and getting their scheduling totally out of order.

I also have talked to car salesman a couple of times today, and dh has talked to him once, and I've talked to dmom & ddil & ds a few times.
Had to go over to ds's to get him to take the carseat out -- I can never seem to manage it.
Went to post office, bank, and drug store...
Filled dmom's dispensers...

Then earlier post happened and I've kinda fizzled out since then.

So...
What are you doing for you today or this week?
and what is the one thing will make your day workable. ?


Hmmm... I don't know of one single thing I am doing for ME today. :P
I will make it a point to EXERCISE. Even if it doesn't make me feel better physically, it will make me feel more accomplished.
And then I will curl up with a good book. Thanks, Elizabeth.

And to make my day workable... well... taking dmom's meds out after supper might be best, but I think I am going to take my chances at tomorrow.
DH has a terrible habit of over-estimating the time something will take. I figure if we spent an HOUR at each place, we will still be done by 5:00 and I'll be no worse off than I am now.
Tomorrow is another day.

blessedw2
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Re: You have got this! monday

Postby blessedw2 » Mon Mar 05, 2018 7:05 pm

I think it’s more than ok to say that it would b easier for u to drop of meds when u two are out - he may huff and puff at first but if u say how it will help u mqybe he will think about it and realize it is easier for you.
it is always a joy to be here with you!

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LadyMaverick
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Re: You have got this! monday

Postby LadyMaverick » Mon Mar 05, 2018 7:58 pm

I'm within 500 steps of my daily goal so I'm fairly sure I will reach it without any effort now. I pushed the lawn mower to get my steps in. Win-Win. It mulches up the grass & leaves. We don't attempt to keep a perfect yard. I'm happy with it looking good. This is one of the perks of not having neighbors who are complainers. We all keep our yard maintained but no one cares if it isn't immaculate.

I have spent about 5 hours the last 2 days working on paperwork. I have our income taxes started. I am 99% sure I can do my own taxes since we don't have a business. I stopped last night around 9 pm when it was time to decided whether to itemize or just take the standard deduction. I'll gather that information before I start that tax section so the decision will be apparent. I can't remember the last time we didn't itemize because we always have more deductions than the standard.

On our long drive today DH and I had a discussion about DGS21 options for furthering his education. We decided he is making excellent adulting decisions but he has no way to further his education without taking out loans. He is working full time and part time but he doesn't earn enough to pay his living expenses and college tuition/books. SO....we made the decision to offer to fund his education if he wants to go to school part-time (along with his full-time job).

Next up -
** do my OA homework
** plan tomorrows meals
1. Know what you want.
2. Go after it relentlessly.

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LadyMaverick
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Re: You have got this! monday

Postby LadyMaverick » Mon Mar 05, 2018 8:40 pm

Need to check J&C
1. Know what you want.
2. Go after it relentlessly.

blessedw2
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Re: You have got this! monday

Postby blessedw2 » Mon Mar 05, 2018 9:35 pm

hello
I have to see an orthopaedic person. They think I have frozen shoulder - hey it's winter!

ate dinner and things are put away
emptied dw and put the plates in
I still need to fold and put away a pile of laundry

yay on being so close to goal d lady.
good for you on paper work.
wonderful about your dgs21 making excellent adulating decisions - I will be praying that he can get a grant or something to help with school.

hi d lucy sorry you have to wait to see allergy dr. great on filling your d mom's meds.
DH has a terrible habit of over-estimating the time something will take.
oh my gosh hat made me laugh bc when it comes to cars my dh is the same

hi d elizabeth
Everyone should live completely on his or her own for a minimum of a year, preferably longer.
Not a bad Idea
it is always a joy to be here with you!

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lucylee
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Re: You have got this! monday

Postby lucylee » Mon Mar 05, 2018 10:35 pm

Checked J&C... :cry:

Had an attitude adjustment here. Taking the attitude that it is better to DO something, ANYthing, as opposed to sitting and sulking and/or arguing with a grumpy dh (who I forgot to tell y'all, is STILL not feeling just right physically, either. I think he EXPECTS to feel 100% better every day, since doctor released him for 6 months, and when he feels some better, he pushes himself too much, and finds he still gets very tired, very easily, which depresses him.)
I think it’s more than ok to say that it would b easier for u to drop of meds when u two are out - he may huff and puff at first but if u say how it will help u mqybe he will think about it and realize it is easier for you.

Well, yes, blessed, if we were dealing with any normal human being, that would be quite true. :P
OTOH, I have little doubt that dh would test on the spectrum just as much as dgs... I can't tell you how long he spent tonight, organizing soft drink cans in the refrigerator! :roll: And he was very frustrated during the whole process. When he gets something in his head, it is just very difficult to convince him any other way is feasible. And I can't exactly just pick up a 220 lb man and buckle him in his booster seat and say we're stopping whether you like it or not. :lol: He really is a good man, y'all, I promise. He just gets stressed very easily, and he can't handle stress well at all... I think he actually has panic attacks that affect him physically, just like I do when some unreasonable anxiety about social situations and things like that cause my mind to start spinning.
HOWEVER, I AM going to take the meds with us and after we drop off the old SUV w/dfriends, perhaps he WILL see that, NOOOO, this did NOT take NEARLY as long as he feared.

ANYWAY -- thinking about the things I CAN control, rather than the things I cannot, I have much to toot my horn about now!

* s/s all three toilets
* cleaned dh's shower
* washed two loads of clothes -- one hanging to dry now, one soon will be
* cooked supper
* s/s kitchen
* called dfriend who is buying old SUV, told her we should be able to deliver tomorrow
* sent text to lady who (used to) paint porcelain Easter eggs -- and found that she is still taking a break from this, just as she was last year
* logged food today in fitbit (apparently I am through eating for the day. It has been a while since I took time to log foods. Last night, dgs wanted Mexican and we obliged... lots of chips and salsa... weight is up, up, up...)

ALSO -- lady from the assisted living place called and *** HOORAY *** -- It is only $127 per day to do "respite" care there, and -- they agree w/friend in home health agency that the home health nurses will come to her there, just as they would at home. So... maybe this will work out after all.

Hope things go well with the new division manager, Elizabeth.
I wholeheartedly agree with you that dd's doctor should be the one determining when and what type of diet she needs. Good for you!

Thinking of men living on their own. Never having been on his own was definitely a problem of my late ddad's. His mother and sister waited on him hand & foot, along with his dad, and his brother. I think men were expected to work hard outside the house, but once they came in the door, the women of the house were at their beck and call. :roll:
This is not dh's problem by any means. His dmom was the youngest of seven children, and her father passed away when she was two years old. Dfil was also the youngest and lost his mother when he was eleven. Neither one of them ever had ANYONE catering to them for anything, and although dh & his brother were a little spoiled b/c their parents were in a much better financial situation as adults than they had experienced as children themselves, from what I gather, they didn't really expect ds & his brother to think someone was going to be catering to their every desire. OTOH, they always had a housekeeper and sometimes she would cook for them as well, so dh & dbil didn't have to take on a lot of chores. They did make a lot of allowances for dh, I think, b/c of his severe allergies, so there was never any yard mowing and stuff like that for him, so he grew up with parents who could pay for whatever needed done around the house... and now that we are NOT able to pay for things like having the house painted every year, or the driveway resurfaced, or a landscaping service... it's kind of a reality check for us in a way. My parents would have just painted the house themselves, and done the landscaping, cleaned the carpets, etc. I have even been the one to pick up shingles while my ddad put a new roof on the house himself.
Anyway -- dh lived with roommates in college. I suspect none of them cared one bit what their apartment or trailer looked like, so I think dmil probably did a lot of laundry & cleaning when she visited for football weekends.

Cathy said:
I never get told what to do or what someone else thinks I should do. As a result, sometimes I don't do anything.

Ddad was EXTREMELY good at supervising, telling me I wasn't doing something right, "Look, Lucy, do it THIS way..." -- and I think that is why I am such a perfectionist and have such guilt over not DOING enough now.
Dmom said she was cleaning house and cooking supper by the time she was 12 years old, as her dmom always worked outside the home. She says that's probably why she wanted to get married at 15; she figured she would have more fun cleaning her own house and cooking for her husband. ;)
She also says that is why she didn't push me harder to learn to cook and do all those things when I was growing up; she didn't really WANT me to think I was capable of running my own home at 15. That may be why I'm so hesitant to cook now, though.

But I digress. :oops: So far as Elizabeth's x & the new wife go... I think they quite deserve each other! :P
(((HUGS))) for your dmom!

(((LordM))) Hope the skin surgery goes smoothly and he can forget all about it soon!

So glad your leak is fixed, Harriet!

WTG with your day, Kathryn! Sounds like things are progressing well for the new family.
Hope your dd feels better soon!

Thinking of your dd, too, blessed! And (((HUGS))) for you and your frozen shoulder!

I began wondering if we all put too much emphasis on it all. Should we just be living an interesting life doing things we need or like and do the upkeep of our homes as a not important thing, just doing what needs done whenever we can. We seem to put a whole lot of effort and time into scheduling little things like dusting a room, etc. I'll bet if we lined up all our schedules or cards or bullet journals they'd make a belt around the equator.

Pretty sure I agree with you, Harmony! I KNOW dh would agree with you 1000%. AND ds/ddil.
I also know that somewhere in the back of my mind, I fear that, as Peg Bracken said, if I never did certain rooms of my house, eventually I'd have to saw them off!
I know it made me feel better to get the bathrooms s/s today... and I know it is MUCH easier to do it if I do it regularly (particularly dh's shower stall.)
And I know I always FEEL better when the house is clean, vacuum marks on the carpet and no dust bunnies lingering.
OTOH... I'm really glad you said this, b/c it IS easy to get our priorities out of whack, I think, and forget that the important thing -- for me tonight, for example, ISN'T whether or not dh is walking on freshly vacuumed carpet, but whether or not dh is healthy. And if dmom has surgery, my life will be a lot more hectic, running errands for her and everything... but that IS the important thing, not whether I have done my zone cleaning for the next six weeks.

I think the upside of routines for me is probably this: if I am DOING my routines, I feel accomplished and proud of myself, and I am pleased to know I haven't wasted my day eating or surfing the net or just being lazy and dragging around all day.
If I do my routines, and then feel I want to take a nap or just veg out on the couch and play with my phone, then I feel like I've earned that time... but if I'm NOT doing anything on any of my cards, and I spend my day being a slug -- then I just feel guilty and embarrassed at myself, and that leads to depression. So I really should look at my cards as a good mental health exercise, while also remembering that those cards are NOT the reason for my existence.

Hope you're having good weather for outside work, Nancy!

IKWYM about one fingered typing, Dee! That is why it is sooo difficult for me to post on the phone when dh is tying up the computer with all his ballgames... shaking my head...

(((Mr. Sunny)))

One last load in the washer -- dh got Sharpie marker on his khaki pants... trying to get that out... y'all wish me luck! I put rubbing alcohol on it, then sprayed it with peroxide/Dawn detergent mixture. Cold water wash. We'll soon see.

Hope you all have a good night and a good day tomorrow. Thanks for helping pull me out of my terrible, horrible, no good, very bad afternoon! :D
Tomorrow is another day.

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Nancy
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Re: You have got this! monday

Postby Nancy » Mon Mar 05, 2018 11:13 pm

I got my book h called and was off so we met for dinner before coming home. Then I got the hens in and picked up the grass from raking the yard. It was pretty mild in the 50's here today.

Time change weekend.


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