are you over-goaling? do what you need Tuesday

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blessedw2
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are you over-goaling? do what you need Tuesday

Postby blessedw2 » Tue May 22, 2018 8:13 am

today's video's from Kat talked about anxiety. I thought of when anxiety hits me is usually when I over goal for the day or week and I expect more from myself that is, for me, humanly impossible.

The anxiety sets in and the negative thinking starts
- I can't do what other people do - what's wrong with me
-I am lazy
-look you are unorganized
-and on and on

When we over-goal or our expectations for ourselves is not healthy or constructive we may let negative thinking into our minds and hearts. Maybe it is old voices from your past saying you are not good enough, the job has to be perfect - all or nothing thinking, i should volunteer to bake 1 million cupcakes, everyone needs me, I "should be able...." etc. Do you ever fall into that?

Stop and breath in and really look at what is actually important and what really can fall to the side. Don't expect yourself to be everything to everybody and expect so much from yourself that isn't healthy for your mind. Life is busy and messy and complicated but life is full of joy if we can say NO to the negativity and just do what you can.

Today Tuesday - how can you not over-goal. How can you be kind to yourself and not let the anxiety train take off. No should of or Could of. Simplify your day right now because you are worth it. No perfection!

We all have reasons, excuses why we put too much on our plate. Some days and weeks there is nothing you can do but ride the wave of what is happening but is it a habit? Have you not learned to say no. What is the reason behind it - I used to say it was because that no one volunteered or everyone needed me, many times I had multiple elder/or ill care and I was drained but a lot of the times then I made everything else so hard for me... making things more complex than I could do and not asking for help.

What can you do today to simplify your day? Do what you need (not what you perceive you need) today? How can you make your life less anxiety filled. You can do it! What can you do to take time to breath? What can you really let go of - and remember don't get into the habit of saying =well I didn't do it and that makes me a failure - No negative thinking. You are perfect, right now, where you are and who you are. You are a joy!
Last edited by blessedw2 on Tue May 22, 2018 8:34 am, edited 1 time in total.
it is always a joy to be here with you!

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DeeClutter
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Re: are you over-goaling? do what you need Tuesday

Postby DeeClutter » Tue May 22, 2018 8:25 am

Been up since about 6:30 but have accomplished nothing (other than s2s, bed made & T-med taken). Going to take my meds in a minute and go do 'breakfast'. Realized I had a whole bunch of little used meds/supplements in a corner in the office, last night. Need to pack those up first thing -things like PM T ylenol. Want to make a run to dbil/dsisil's before it rains again. Need to have dbil check my oil if it isn't pouring.

Going to do my PODA list and get working on it. A lot is just plain paper work/desk work.
Begun is half done -SO! JUST BEGIN!!

blessedw2
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Re: are you over-goaling? do what you need Tuesday

Postby blessedw2 » Tue May 22, 2018 8:26 am

I got up really early today for me (5:15) and I loved it... the dogs were confused. I used to get up at this time everyday as a young mom and have my coffee in my yard as the sun and the birds greeted me.

We have been inundated with rain and this morning is still grey and everything is soaking wet. dd younger has not been able to plant because the ground is like a bog. But it is a new day and I love a new morning :D .

Sunday I had decided to take d mom and d aunt for a lunch and grocery shopping on Monday. It poured and poured and d mom and d aunt wanted to cancel but I suggested we still go. I know it sounds selfish of me but we haven't had much sun and I want to work in the garden and finish my sanding the wall inside my home as well. I needed to do it for me. Even after the restaurant my d aunt suggested we just go home but the grocery store was just across the parking lot (walking distance). My aunt lives an hour from me and that would mean I would have to come back this week. I was kind but we persevered. She got lots of groceries, my d mom was so sweet and let me focus on my aunt while my mom got her own groceries. They both laughed a lot and spoke a lot. It was a good day!

Last night we went to our french garden architecture class - more of a talk and a little design. Dd younger loved it! The teacher is a renowned garden architect in our area and he was so kind, full of information of history and aspects of french design and just an enjoyable soul. Some of the people were landscape architect students and it was so fun to hear the teacher telling stories along with his students.

I have listened to my morning videos
I have my things to do out
today is bathroom day - I missed dusting day for the home blessing and pushing it to next Monday. Today is clean mirror and glass spots.
Now to erase emails and figure out what I spent yesterday.

wishing you a wonderful day.
Last edited by blessedw2 on Tue May 22, 2018 8:31 am, edited 4 times in total.
it is always a joy to be here with you!

blessedw2
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Re: are you over-goaling? do what you need Tuesday

Postby blessedw2 » Tue May 22, 2018 8:26 am

hello d dee - good morning and I hope it is a great day for you!
it is always a joy to be here with you!

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LadyMaverick
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Re: are you over-goaling? do what you need Tuesday

Postby LadyMaverick » Tue May 22, 2018 8:32 am

Bw2 - Thank you for the start today. Love the reminder.

In my quiet time this morning, I had the same revelation. "When in doubt, don't".

It goes along with Kathryn and Twins wise guidance yesterday about whether to add DS9 bowling to the summer schedule.

Today is set up and planned. I need to scoot out the door and enjoy my morning walk. *POOF*
1. Know what you want.
2. Go after it relentlessly.

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Kathryn-in-Canada
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Re: are you over-goaling? do what you need Tuesday

Postby Kathryn-in-Canada » Tue May 22, 2018 8:53 am

I'm up and dressed, tea and chocolate consumed.

I'm working on Triggers so am to the point of writing my daily questions. I'll take a week and explain this all to you in the future when my days are not over-goaled!

In the meantime, it will be another busy day.

(((Lucylee))) for losing a long post yesterday. That's happening to me more and more often now since my computer seems to not hang onto the cookies. I feel her pain! It is so hard when you have a few minutes and want you want to connect with your SHE friends and instead you lose the post.

I get my bangs trimmed today. I've manage to not trim them myself so I'm really looking forward to this. My 'long' hair is still not able to pull back into a pony tail (something he said it would do after the cut weeks ago) so I'm glad I'm not getting a cut today. I shall point this out to him while I'm there.

OK, time to poof and get to work on something. I answered a religious question on Reddit last night so am avoiding going back in. Honestly, all I did was explain the meaning behind a church sign and have now received:

That’s quite enough. all further input you make on this Reddit sub has henceforth been discredited by your obvious mental ilness / intellectual and person weaknesses


Just to let you know what the world beyond your echo chamber is like.

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Twins' Mom
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Re: are you over-goaling? do what you need Tuesday

Postby Twins' Mom » Tue May 22, 2018 9:14 am

OMGoodness. I stupidly allowed my computer to do a windows update last night and this a.m. it won’t start up. I could cry. I made a.m. appt w geek squad at 10:20 using iPad, and i’m Now typing on the o iPad which is iffy. I could cry. Lots of anxiety here, although logically I know it can more than likely be fixed.

I’m picking up dcousin to see dmom today and we’ll have lunch with her so I need to call about that. And I need to get through a.m. routine.

-breakfast and meds
-wash up, brush teeth, get dressed
-walk the dog
-clear kitchen counters
Be at war with your vices, at peace with your neighbors, and let every new year find you a better [wo]man. Ben Franklin

blessedw2
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Re: are you over-goaling? do what you need Tuesday

Postby blessedw2 » Tue May 22, 2018 9:44 am

(((d twins))) I am sorry your computer is giving you trouble!!! Hope it is easily fixable. wishing you a wonderful, stress free day!

d kathryn hope your busy day is smooth sailing!

"When in doubt, don't". love this d lady have a great day!

hello d everyone.
it is always a joy to be here with you!

blessedw2
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Re: are you over-goaling? do what you need Tuesday

Postby blessedw2 » Tue May 22, 2018 9:48 am

I did my catch up on what I spent and bills to pay.
figured out what dd younger owes to me after what I owed to her 8-) :D
my list for Thursday is growing
checks written and bank payment made. Paid dh back for fixing car.
emails gone through and email sent in response to trees to be cut. I love email instead of phone tag.
time to throw darks in dryer

I am s2s even though dh was still asleep. I dislike waking him up but getting up early makes me want to get dressed earlier.

today is the funeral of d brothers d niece 24.
it is always a joy to be here with you!

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Kathryn-in-Canada
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Re: are you over-goaling? do what you need Tuesday

Postby Kathryn-in-Canada » Tue May 22, 2018 9:57 am

About over-goaling: the book I'm working on right now covers that philosophy thusly:

Am I Willing
At This Time
To make the investments required
To make a positive difference
On this issue?

I'm supposed to memorize this and use the acronym from the first 6 words AIWATT (pronounced ay-what?) to ask myself this question when adding something to my life.

My "engaging questions" (version 1) are now formatted and printed off. I have taped them into my planner. I'm to score myself on a scale on 1- 10 each day and keep track of the weekly average. I'm already doing that empirically with my step count, and more roughly with MyFitnessPal's calorie/nutrient data. The difference is that this is answering "Did I do my best to..." questions. So if I mess up on my eating early in the day but then make adjustments to finish the day strong, MFP may not show I had a good day but I might score myself highly since I certainly did my best.

The book is big on structure so it fits in well with the SHE system (which of course provides us with structure.) "Did I do my best to follow the SHE cards?" is one of my daily questions.

OK, speaking of eating, I haven't had my breakfast yet and am getting hungry.


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