THURSDAY PIE

[Elizabeth]

It's official. My car is a total loss. I called the body shop to get a revised estimate, one that includes only mechanical, safety, and corrosion protection. I can drive a crummy looking car if it gets me where I need to be. However, once the insurance company declares it a total loss, they will not work on it. Other shops will, but that would mean I have to (1) find them and make sure they are reputable (2) tow the car there for an estimate (3) hope the estimate is affordable (4) get the car to the junkyard if not. Looks like I will need to make a fast decision on a new-to-me vehicle. My parents want to give me a nice amount of $$$ toward whatever needs to be done. I may need it. Not enough for a reliable used car, but enough for a down payment. I am not sure what this will do to my existing car loan now that I have no car as collateral. This is such a nightmare.

Not only has no one ever proven a link between vaccines and autism, the utter LACK of a link has been established repeatedly.

I need to get back to work, so I can earn a living and have a non-destroyed vehicle. At the TOTHs, I will do a little research on available cars. I need something that is big enough to haul cats on the weekend, has AC for my hour long one-way commute, and is affordable. Ideally, it would have enough towing capacity for a small camper. However, buying a car means that it is very unlikely I will get my camper (except for the crocheted one). This just sucks.

I can't speak for anyone else, but the lifestyles of others don't offend me unless they are immoral, illegal, or unethical. Large houses are none of those. The four kitchens intrigued me because I grew up with an interior designer and tried to imagine how that would be laid out. I've never been in a house that was planned large, only my dad's childhood house which grew with need. You can tell it wasn't planned because a bathroom window now opens to the library, which doubles as a bedroom and a hallway. Wonder if that influenced his choice to be an interior designer?

[Nancy]

I was explaining to dd about PIE yesterday.
I realized how tired I was last night and some was emotional energy felt spent wept a bit then slept in till 7:30 unsual for me.
Having a lazy morning. Realized I could not fix the grief or upset others were feeling and released it then slept very well!

My main task today sweep and mop floors. Done yea!

Glad I am no longer coughing yea!
I will need to get out my boots before doing outside chores later on it is wet from rains we had. Cloudy today. A great day for sewing a seam or two.
Trying to keep plugging along.

[Ramblinrose]

Morning...

LadyM... ditto what Elizabeth said. I love hearing abt your son and family and his back story as well. My son live the tale of two cities growing up once his father and I divorced. His dad is very wealthy, but was very controlling. When I left and went back to school I took nothing in the way of alimony and only child support during the times my son was living with me. My choice as I saw alimony as another way my ex could control me. I was done with him and wanted to live a life he could not interfere with.

Consequently my son had a dad who had a huge home and could give him anything he wanted. I on the other hand worked three jobs and went to full time college during the day and could barely by generic Mac and cheese.

I left my marriage because I did not want my son to think his dad and I were in a health relationship and would then mirror it in his own life. I had that with my own parents who bickered all the time and a father who was also very controlling. I know the damage it did to me living through my childhood and knew it was up to me to break the cycle.

My son is also a very successful man with a huge home and all the trimmings, but like you what I am most proud of is his commitment to God and his relationship to his wife and their marriage. The rest like you said is just window dressing. My guilt for breaking up our family when my son was only 7 has been justified to see that my son flourish in a relationship that I always hoped for. And to know the cycle was truly broken and my granddaughter will reap the benefits from it.

Kathryn.. if I remember correctly my son received his first mumps, rubella and whooping cough vaccination at three months of age. Is that not the same in Canada?

Off to start my day. Sweetie is the n the garage and is messy no with mystuff. What he really needs to be doing is decluttering his own

[CathyS]

Hi!

Supper tonight is sausages with onions and red and green peppers. I think I can cook potatoes in with them as well. I'm sure I did that the last time. This is a "by request" supper. I guess I make so many different things that dh has to ask for his favourites.

I love hearing about different houses and families.

I have been to knitting. There was a new lady today. She just moved from northern Ontario to here, so this will be an interesting time for her. Where she was would be considered the "snow belt" whereas this is the "fruit belt".

[Harmony]

LadyM, 7 bathrooms? Wow. I just spent 2 1/2 hours scrubbing DH's bathroom. Surface cleaning all the time does nothing for the corners, etc., so I did all of that today. I was in there with the pumice stone and things for scale... yep 2 1/2 hours. X7? No I couldn't do it. But ya know, those that don't get used often probably stay nice and shiny all the time.

Anyway, LadyM, I love hearing about all your children. Such an interesting family. We're all just sharing our lives on here. I never think anybody is bragging.

One DD and her husb. have been doing very well, in a totally different bracket than us. But their family is a bit fractured and I give DD a lot of credit for managing her mothering duties in a difficult situation. Things change, though, and they've had to take a step back for a bit. She's ok with it, he is not.

Us? We just stick to a budget and do ok. That's all I ever really wanted.

Elizabeth, so sorry about your car. Insurance will pay you what they figure the car is worth. Or they will pay the loan company if they are holding the title. You will have to come up with the difference between that and the loan balance. I hope it's small if anything. Try to remember that even with all this you are blessed because you were not seriously hurt.

Looks like rain's coming. Had to dig out paperwork on truck tires for DH, he needs another one again. I need to S2S now, really need it after all this cleaning. Yep, I'm bushed.

[Twins' Mom]

LadyM, I often see (and use) snarky in a more playful way than your definition suggests. I think that is probably the way Kathryn intended. I'll use it often when talking to dd or dh. I don't believe Kathryn's intent was as stated by the defintion. And I also enjoy hearing about other lifestyles as well!

Stamp camp was fun - my coworker who has now retired was there with her sister and it was enjoyable to see them. I felt like I made a mess of one of the cards, so I just put the pieces away to bring home to try again. I don't think I have the right stamp set, but I'll do something else if needed.

DAR lady sent me a loooooong email about changes to make. I am actually to the point I was hoping she would make changes and let me work on something else! I responded with a short email about putting info on the back of every document I need to print. Geez, this stuff is picky. Info the back in 10pt type in dark gray ink?

I had a real mood crash yesterday afternoon and was weeping when dh called to let me know he was on his way home. He suggested I skip cooking and have a more relaxed evening. I'm feeling low about the BP, the dizziness causing motion sickness, the mood swings, everything about this med, although it is better than the pain. I can't cut these 400 mg meds in two to see if taking a lower dose holds the pain and gets rid of some symptoms so we dh and I agreed that I am going to experiment with using the older 200 mg meds and see what happens. I have just been feeling like cr@p. (I hope no one is offended but that's the least offensive term I can think of.)

Oh Elizabeth, I feel for you! Also glad you weren't hurt. I know the finances are worrisome.

Going to get on these comments....

[Ramblinrose]

LadyM...
I meant to mention, a gaggle of grandkids sleeping with me in my hotel room sounds like heaven to me!!! One of my most treasured childhood memories was a trip to Niagara Falls with my grandmother, greatgrand mother and my brother.

I think I was 12. My grandmother was NOT the granny kind. She drove a huge new white Cadillac wore push-up bras, peddle pushes,wore her hair in a French twist and smoked Lucky Strikes. And I never saw her in anything but wedges or high heel shoes.

At our first reststop at Howard Johnson’s, she gave me a quarter to buy a tube of fuchsia colored lipstick out of the machine in the ladies restroom. Once back in the car she handed me a turquoise long scarve to wrap around my head Lauren Bacall style and I spent the entire vacation dressed like the Cat’s Meow in all my glory as we drove for days with the window rolled down.

Each night I slept with grandmother and my brother slept with my great grandmother and every morning when we all climbed back in the car my Ggmom would complain about her night sleep. She wore her hair in a huge bun and every night she would take it down and braid it before she went to sleep. The braid reached almost to her waist and it seems my brother kept getting tangled and sleeping on it.

My ggmothers name was Minnie which everyone, including all the kids, called her, but somehow my brother call up with the name Minnie HaHa and that what we called her for the entire trip. She loved it!

Just imagine what we must have looked like traveling down country roads in a huge white Cadillac with the windows rolled down, with me in all my glory, my gmother driving while puffing on her cigarette and my brother and ggmother singing, off key I might add, to all the songs on the radio.

I only hope I can make a magical memory for my granddaughter like that, because really that’s part of what love is made off.

Hope y’all have plenty of love, laughter and giggles to carry you from that night on till forever. 57 years later I’m still smiling and treasuring mine.

[lucylee]

Okay -- dh probably is about to pull me away from here again so I just have a few minutes, and I wanted to say ditto to Elizabeth's post:

I can't speak for anyone else, but the lifestyles of others don't offend me unless they are immoral, illegal, or unethical.

LadyM, please don't worry about being offensive with anything you say, as far as I am concerned, personally. I am just amazed and can understand your joy in your son's success. I was the first person in my paternal grandfather's family to graduate college, and dmom said she knew that was special to my dad.

Also, echoing Elizabeth about this:

The four kitchens intrigued me because I grew up with an interior designer and tried to imagine how that would be laid out.

And LOL at this:

You can tell it wasn't planned because a bathroom window now opens to the library, which doubles as a bedroom and a hallway. Wonder if that influenced his choice to be an interior designer?

DS on the phone. He is driving approx 12 hours today alone, so he called to pass the time.

[lucylee]

I am making PIE – not real pie, of course – PROGRESS.
Today I have stripped the bed, including the dust ruffle, mattress pad, and the blanket, quilt, and spread (which is really just another quilt.) All that stuff is going through the washer, and I vacuumed (sort of) underneath the bed and across the mattress.

DGD awoke at 8:00 a.m. (after being up VERY late!) and then she had a complete come-apart re: which one of us would vacuum and which one would dust. It didn’t matter, whichever one I offered to do, she wanted to do. She is now asleep in the recliner with her tablet playing videos of people singing children’s songs.

Blessed, that is an excellent thought to remember – being a good housekeeper does NOT equal being a good mom – or even being a good person, for that matter. I think a lot of us need to remember this in our quest for perfectionism. I know I do!

This measles epidemic is getting scary, isn’t it? And just this week, I read about a paralyzing virus-type thing that is going around, particularly affecting children, and apparently doctors are stumped as to what is causing it or how to treat it. (((HUGS))) Kathryn, for all that is involved with dealing with your dgrands and your dd’s concerns.
And ditto Harmony, re: the need for vaccinations. DDIL is very much in favor of vaccinations, despite dgs’s apparent autism. And I know, he is so extremely high-functioning that his autism is probably a blessing; it probably accounts for his phenomenal memory and therefore it is unlikely schoolwork will ever be a problem for him. OTOH, if he were like the child of a friend of mine, who is his age and still pretty much nonverbal, still not potty-trained, unable to go places like church or movies, etc – well – if that were the situation we were dealing with, I would certainly have a different perspective on things, I’m sure… but I don’t think I’d risk having children go without vaccines. As ddil said re: the Humera shots and all the scary side effects, having Juvenile Arthritis is a pretty scary “side effect” too. So the risk of autism (which I agree is not linked to vaccines) is MUCH lower than the risk some of these childhood illnesses carry with them.

Realized I could not fix the grief or upset others were feeling and released it.

Another wise thought, Nancy. Good for you!

I am so sorry about your car, Elizabeth – but yes – so thankful you aren’t injured!

Nodding with Rose… and others who said the same thing -- I love hearing about everyone’s different lives and families also. We’re all such a mixed bag, and yet so accepting of each other and supportive of each other. Part of the value of this little village of ours is that we do have our differences, and when someone has a problem – at least when I have a problem, this is true -- sometimes it is really nice to get input and perspectives from people who AREN’T exactly the same as me. It helps me to see things from different angles.

I guess I make so many different things that dh has to ask for his favourites.

Well now. THERE is the statement that brings on envy for ME today. LOL – just kidding, Cathy, but * sheesh * I do wish dh here would LET me cook some different things. We do eat out now, two or three times most weeks, but the days we eat at home, we cycle through the same four meals over and over and over and over and over and over…
Ddil said it would drive her crazy. She cooks a lot of different stuff. DH is just so paranoid about keeping his fluid down and not getting himself back in the hospital. He sees that he can splurge occasionally, but he very much fears getting too lenient with himself.
And perhaps justifiably. Right now, his weight is not showing any increase, but he said a lot of his pants are too tight. (And I can’t blame the dryer – he never allows his to be tumbled for even a minute!)

(((BIG HUGS))) for you, (((Twins))) – I’m so glad your dh suggested a quiet evening for you two.

Oh, Rose… I love that story about your trip! Memories with grandparents… priceless.

DH stayed on the phone with ds and went to pick up dgs at school. They are now playing pool in the garage attic and dgd is still sleeping. She is kinda sitting up in the recliner, but I don't want to move her b/c for goodness sake, we BOTH desperately need a nap. But I have to go flip the laundry first!

[Kathryn-in-Canada]

In Canada MMR vaccination is at 12 months with a booster either at 18 months or before entering school. I also remember it being earlier for my kids.

I talked with dd and she said they don't know what to do. For now, if you haven't had your shots (or had the measles) then you can't come in contact with the baby. I'm checking to see if S has had her shot (she's from Iran so it is possible she hasn't but then again maybe she did to get her visa to study here - I know US green card holders have to have had their shots.) If S has, then that will give dd someone to visit with here.

I'm home from babysitting and getting the money out of the church refugee account.

I played for dgsM2 for about an hour, we had lunch, we played a bit more, then I put him down for quiet time. He's no longer expected to nap but he is expected to play quietly by himself in his room for 90 minutes. At that point dd and I chatted a bit while she finished up nursing dgdJ0 and then I took a happy baby and turned her into an unhappy one!

She was happy for about 10 minutes then started to scream. I fled for the basement but was aware the crying would carry up the cold-air return to the bedroom. After 10 minutes I was able to sing her to calm and another 10 minutes to sleep. Then we came back upstairs.

Dd didn't actually nap but she stayed down for almost an hour. She could hear the baby but wasn't sure it wasn't phantom cries she hears from time to time.

Dsil came back just before 3 and is now a fully licensed driver. That was the reason I had to babysit today, he was off taking his final driving test. This is something his mother swore to me would never happen and I swore to her that he would learn to drive because I required it! He's done all the driving for past 2 months (the time they've had a car) in order to keep practicing for his test. Even so, he had extra lessons just to make sure he passed.

Before leaving, I got word that the motion had been passed by the church board so I took the cheque with me to drop off at the other church. While babysitting, I got a stern email saying I needed to keep the other sponsorship group up to date, since we had already missed our deadline. I wanted to scream "what deadline!?!" I was financially responsible for the refugees until Sunday. Monday was the earliest I could send the money and if I had mailed it, they would have received it on Wednesday.

Instead, because I had started the motions within my own committee last week, I learned on Friday there was an issue and we couldn't send the money on our own say-so. I got the motions written, moved and seconded by Tuesday night and email voting finished on Thursday morning. Honestly, this is the fastest I've done anything lately and my motivating factor was the sooner it is done, the sooner I never have to deal with that woman again. She has no respect for rules, organizational structure or laws. She has abused us the whole time and her actions could have cost the church our charitable status with the government. Then she screamed abuse at us because we put a stop to her illegal activity. I'm so relieved to be rid of her.

Now that I'm rid of her, I'm wondering if there's a way I can have her refugee committee audited by the government. She lied on her government sponsorship forms for the third sponsorship, committed to financially supporting the family and then cheated the second family out of $4000 of settlement money so she could yell at me to give her the money for the third family. Just this week she said she was 'owed' $1200 from that money but in fact she had committed to the government to finance this whole sponsorship so she was owed nothing by anyone. She's not following through on her commitment.