The Day After - Friday PWYC

[Twins' Mom]

For every low point, every disaster, every day when everything goes wrong, the sun comes up the next morning and a new day, with fresh beginning and feelings and thoughts comes through. Yesterday was one of those for me, but the sun is out and the day is new.

I'll be working on on my own health and recovery today. After you so kindly stood with me yesterday, can you help me with your best recovery strategies?

Thank you all, love you all. So much has happened to us all together in the past years.

Edited to add "PWYC Friday" to the subject.

[DeeClutter]

You are so very right, Twins. Many things have happened to us over the many years we've been here. And we've stood together -strong & loving. It's been a good place to be. You are very wise in taking time for you to recover in all ways possible. Don't look too far ahead right now -you just need to lay back & relax a little.

Happy first day of Summer to us in the Northern Hemisphere. After Wednesday & Thursday's rains -hammering rain at that- it's time for the sun to shine and we all see those silver linings.

[Twins' Mom]

My brother would have been 60 years old today. He was born on Father's day. Dh told me that yesterday my dnephew put some of his ashes in with dmom. He mentioned it to be the other night but I wasn't clear that he would do it at the end of the service.

I need to attend to mother's room at assisted living today. Ds stands by to help, but dh wants to move the furniture tomorrow, not today. He wants to take care of things at his office for a while today. Our other "son" Z comes into town today. The original plan was me leaving today or tomorrow for Pittsbrgh so I hadn't planned to be able to see him. It will be a delight to be able to be with him, and his father is having a pool party tomorrow to welcome him and his significant other, C., home.

I told dh last night I wanted to go to temple tonight, but I'm rethinking it now. By last night I didn't want to see anyone, and I suspect I'll feel the same today.

[Nancy]

Twins hydrate is a great place to begin and a walk is up for me soon. Done.
I have watered the back beds, front done.
Daily tasks helped me to regain a sence of peace.
I cannot believe it took a week to get sort of back on track with chores here to find my counters etc.

More errands than normal as well bc it is cooler out. Heading to habitat for huminaty this weekend to see about boards for a ladder.

[CathyS]

Hi! So nice to "see" you Twins!

I was up before 7 this morning. As soon as I got up, I cleared dh's crossword puzzles, pens and reading glasses off of the table and got right to work sorting dh's old paperwork from work. UGH. I think I had to open over 500 envelopes. Work stuff going back to 2011 when he started where he is now. I think the only ones already sorted were most of 2019. For all of the other years, I did NOT put the stuff in date order. I gave myself a time limit of having it all done in 2 hours, or 9 a.m. I finished all of it a few minutes after 9.

Today I have all the rest of the stuff that wasn't in envelopes. Tax info, insurance info, banking stuff, older tool receipts.... But once it's done, I will never have to do it again.

The joyous thing about all of it was tossing his ex wife's tax info from 2010 and earlier. I think all traces of her are now gone.


Today I need to go to the bank and go get some bagels.

Supper tonight will be an omelette and bagels.

[LadyMaverick]

Twins - so much emotional events happening to you in such a short time span. You are incredibly strong to deal with it and keep going. Please remember to give yourself several "Get out of Jail Free" cards to not do things that don't bring you joy.

CathyS - WOW! OH WOW! Your making huge progress on the paperwork.

I was up and had several dishes in the process of cooking before 7am. Our church is serving a funeral meal for 200 family members today. That takes a lot of food!!! Someone else is taking care of the entree so I made 2 side dishes plus a dessert. I made enough of each dish to fill steam table size pans. I'm letting them cool a little so I can safely transport them. I'll deliver the food to the church in a bit.

It strikes me as a bit crazy that I've been cooking for hours for others but I don't know what WE are going to eat today. I'll figure that out in a bit.

I was supposed to take DMom to a doctor appointment this morning but the knee brace didn't come in. The doctor office called and canceled the appointment. I am very thankful for that!

Next up -
** Personal AM
** Drinks & Food prep
** Front porch

[blessedw2]

dearest twins (we are all with you as you go through your day).

[DeeClutter]

dearest twins (we are all with you as you go through your day).

And all the ones to follow.

DD & I learned some news about T today. All we can say is that we're so thankful that we're not involved any more. DD said, "And this is why I have a permanent order of protection". So sad that some people just never 'get it'. One other thing that dd discovered the other day was: Dh had planned to volunteer at a 'home' run by a Christian organization this fall. She told him that he might not want to do that as it seems this was T's last known address. Not sure she'll be there much longer though as she'll be 21 next month & should age out of the system.

[blessedw2]

dh and I are having an argument - small things but still caused a fight.
he was rototilling. and weed whacking which was wonderful but he cut down my peony again! last year he knocked rototilled all my perennials because he does not ask. it was sweet but he wants things the way he wants it and I want things the way I want it. I wanted to continue the garden wider but he decided that he wants it smaller. I asked him and he blew up. He said I always start the fight. Probably! why couldn't I let him have it his way.
I just get tired that he doesn't hear me or really listen.

I should have let it go. instead of mentioning my peony again (3 rd time he has knocked it down - why can't I just realize that he can't see a thing and let it go) He is trying and I just have to realize that he will never get what is going on and I just have to appreciate that he is trying.

[Twins' Mom]

Thank you for your sweet thoughts. I love the thought of the "Get out of Jail" card, LadyM. Someone told me when dbro died that it was one of the few times in my life I could say what I wanted, talk to only who I wanted, and do only what I wanted and no one would ever think I was off my own rocker or think bad of me. In actuality, I am talking to more people that I would want to if I could just make those choices, but everyone wants to express their condolences and comfort me.

I am going to assisted living soon to start on the things in her room. Things in decent shape will be given to the resident nursing manager to use there, and some stained things either thrown away or taken to goodwill. I've heard that goodwill even uses the things in poor shape as bulk rag sales, but I don't know how I"ll feel about pulling up there with a bunch of old, stained things, either.

Dfriend M came by for a visit while dd was here. Dd packed up some things to go to the temple and also some cookies to go to the assisted living for the staff. I found a huge salad in the garage refrigerator from the guy who owns/manages our favorite Italian restaurant. I'm going to ck with dcousin and see if her dh wants it for his fire fighter station. He's on for cooking there tomorrow.

bw2, I try to remember with my dh that he's trying so hard to do the right thing. Sometimes he just doesn't know, or doesn't think to ask, or whatever, and sincerely thinks he's doing the right thing and will be appreciated and praised for it. Yesterday was one of those days all day long for him and I just kept saying what's done is done, I don't care, let's just move forward. Because he and my kids aren't familiar with non-Jewish funerals, he thought that they should bring home the two large flower sprays that were sent (by cousins) and the flowers I ordered for her coffin. (Jews don't do flowers at funerals, but my dmom wasn't Jewish.) So he brought the flowers home and planned to take them to assisted living for them to use as bouquets. I explained to the kids quietly what the Christian custom is, that the flowers go on the grave as decoration once it is filled, and and that the senders expected them to decorate her fresh grave. Ds quietly took them back for me. It's really really funny to me that all three of them had no idea.

Dh also thought he should get everything on the grocery list so went to two grocery stores while dd was waiting at home for he and ds to help her. I told him I only really needed the kleenex on the list but that went over his head, and he was trying to get the "right" peanut butter for me.

For the time being, those mix ups and how things are done doesn't matter to me. My family isn't used to me not micromanaging, although I promised them that quality would be back.