Monday Mourning Morning

[LadyMaverick]

She’s lives through a depression, A very difficult time for her...Was the first person ever to survive spinal meningitis at age 16...spent a week in a coma...WW11 And polio epidemic
She tells stories of love, friendships and deaths and can still find joy in life. Gotta love the woman 

RR - I love hearing about your DMom. It sounds like she knows how to grieve and mourn and also how to move on from such loss. She doesn't forget to acknowledge and speak of the losses but she doesn't let the painful experiences stop her from embracing joy into her life.

Bookie - Welcome Home! Glad you had this weekend with your DMom. Take extra good care of yourself while you recover.

I feel kind of whiny writing about it. I've adapted (we all have) and figured out work arounds for some. What a long weird time.

I feel whiny only if I minimize the loss and treat them as feelings only. When I embrace and acknowledge them as FACTS then I'm not dealing with just feelings. I'm not sure I am saying the right words to describe what I'm trying to say. *sigh* I am an optimist and typically don't allow myself to wallow in self-pity. I'm constantly looking for the bright side and willing to frequently tell myself to put my big girl panties on and get going. But these losses and difficult experiences are REAL FACTS. They aren't me just feeling and acting like a Debbie Downer and whining. Like RR Mom (and others), these hard experiences will be part of the lifetime of experiences that mold and shape us….hopefully for the better. Ignoring the hard and difficult facts don't make them go away.

47 SHE cards completed. 6 hours tracked and accounted for.

[lucylee]

I don't know if I am feeling such sadness that I would use the word mourning for many of my losses, but I definitely do mourn the loss of ds's music career -- besides knowing how much HE enjoyed it, WE enjoyed it. We enjoyed going to the shows and watching him perform, we enjoyed being around all his band members who had all become friends to us as well, and we just enjoyed (as dh says so often) "having something to look forward to."

I also mourn/feel sad for dgs & dgd losing the last two months of school...

and the loss of dgs's first season of "coach-pitch" baseball...

and the loss of our church fellowship...

and, for dh, the loss of other things he was sooo looking forward to -- our trip to Atlanta later in the summer, our trip to Nashville for his birthday, baseball season overall, and possibly football season. None of these things have been totally cancelled, but dh is not optimistic.

and here in our little village, I feel such sadness for those of you who have suffered close family losses, especially during this strange time when social distancing rules have made funerals and other rituals so difficult.

OTOH -- I have experienced the blessing of a more relaxed spring/early summer season.

Rose -- your mother is totally amazing!!! It is easy to see how you developed such a wonderful attitude about life and became the person you are! The apple doesn't fall far from the tree!

Reworked my checklist/cards last night... got the sheets in the washer this morning... plugging along here...

DDIL called... talked for awhile about how she doesn't even want to THINK about school (which starts for her tomorrow)... another online semester, classes M/Th... clinicals T/W... going to be a busy summer for her * and us! *

[CathyS]

The farmer that rents the land behind us is tilling today. I don't see a seed spreader, and I don't know if that is an official name for a piece of farm equipment.

[Ramblinrose]

Lucylee... as the song goes...
Teach your children well

[lucylee]

*whew*
I have been busy * and productive * today.
I have all the 2015 photos in chronological order in an album!
Now I only have to do 2016 & 2017, and I think I need to print some that were omitted from one other year, plus catching up on this year again. Could be this year that is not totally printed yet... I made a note when I was working on whichever album it was.

Anyway -- that is a huge accomplishment, task that I've been procrastinating on for... hmmmm... 5 years, right?

In addition, I am transferring videos from dvr to dvd's for dh... a seemingly endless task, but I'm eating the elephant...

Laundry for today is put away or hanging to dry, except for putting clean sheets on the bed...
supper has been cooked, eaten, and kitchen s/s...
dh and dgs are playing pool in the garage attic.
DGS is spending the night b/c dgd has early morning eye doctor appt.

Waving to all!!!

* Rose -- I tried to teach ds well. I think he had an active rebellion against the OCD ways of his ddad. I cannot explain ddil. But I am using every opportunity to plant seeds with the dgrands.

[Harmony]

There are lots of things for anybody to mourn this season, no? Just the inability to come and go as we please, that's a big thing. I find the more our state tries to open things up, the more anxious I get. At our Zoom meeting last night, we compared churches, which were open or closed or making plans, etc., and every one of them (5 couples) said they were not going right back when things began to open up. All but DH. He said he was going back. Of course that makes me worry a whole lot.

So, I am mourning the freedom I used to have to jump in the car and go out if I was having a bit of cabin fever. An hour or so in the library or a stroll through a store. I didn't feel like the world was a dangerous place like I do now.

And of course, I miss just knowing my brother-in-law is with my DSister. Even if I didn't get to see them very often, I knew they were there. It has surprised me how much I grieve over that.

And the loss of the life DH and I once had. Even though I gripe about the way he tries to hold on to things he can't / shouldn't do any more, I grieve the loss of all that. I had time to myself now and then, I had more of a purpose to my days. Now I rattle around doing pretty much little to nothing and wonder what he's thinking of my laziness.

We would have made a trip up to see family a couple weeks ago if this virus wasn't here. I would have seen 2 graduations, and seen 2 DGSs walk across the stage and receive their diplomas. It makes me very sad that we've missed that.

Anyway, lessons to be learned through all this. I am not happy with myself when I'm all mad about things. And I do have sad feelings seeing DH struggle with his changes. Maybe I focus on the anger so the hurt / compassion doesn't overwhelm me?

And we did at least have a good day today. I got laundry done and things tidied up around here. Changed sheets. We surprised everybody at our Zoom meeting by showing up with picture and mic instead of just the name. I was pleased to see how well everything worked.

Time for bed.