So, I am trying again with a new (to me) laptop... and I am once again connected via hotspot on phone. I will call AT&T eventually, but right now, I am waiting for the urology scheduler to call with times for dh's "procedure." That's what they call it. DH calls it major SURGERY and it does seem that removing a whole kidney is a bit more than a "procedure."
Anyway -- I'm getting used to this computer and I'm still aggravated that it doesn't seem to recognize my router or my printer... but I do like the bigger display and keyboard, and SURELY there is SOME WAY to make it hook up with the internet here in my house. Everything else does.
DH is working on taxes, dgs is in his room doing something, and I have all the potholders and most of the dishrags we own in the washer.
Pot holders mostly because I don't remember when they've been washed... dishrags because --->
Last night, I learned that one should NOT try to bake a 20 lb ham in the basically flat roasting pan that comes with the oven.
I also learned * after the fact * that I DO own a large deep roasting pan that would have served the purpose very well, along with a disposable large aluminum pan.
BUT -- nope -- hard-headed Lucy decided she would just forego the baking BAGS she had bought, and put this 20 lb ham in the fairly flat pan, on top of pineapple rings and the juice of one can of pineapple. Then I garnished the whole thing with brown sugar, more pineapple rings, and marishino cherries; and wrapped it tightly (I thought) in aluminum foil. It looked beautiful. It was supposed to cook until 5:30.
At 4:00 pm, as I was getting out of the shower, having washed my hair, shaved my legs, applied lotion to my legs and facial masque to my face... dh says, "You better check on that ham; it smells like it's burning."
WELL... no, the ham was not burning, but the pineapple juice (and fats/water I had not accounted for) had leaked from the foil and there was the biggest mess I have ever seen in my oven floor.
IN MY UNDERWEAR, I proceeded to get the very heavy pan to the counter by the sink and drain off some of the juice.
Now the biggest mess I have ever seen is dripping from the oven door, all the way across the kitchen to the sink, and dh is SURE that the element is about to burn out in the oven.
His first reaction was that we need to throw out that ham, and just outlaw cooking in this kitchen...
I began cleaning this up -- dishtowels, paper towels, wet cloths, etc...
His second reaction was that he just had to get out the house for a while, not because he was mad, but because he had already wanted to get out of the house, feeling claustrophobic, and this crisis was just more than he could take.
I called my mom, who actually offered to come get the ham and finish cooking it at her house, but while talking to her, I discovered my large (deep) roasting pan, and I texted ds to see if his over was in use. No. Bring on the ham.
I get the ham in the pan, get in the truck (because dh had taken the Tahoe) back out of the carport, and THE TRUCK GOES DEAD.
I called ds, who started over to get me... I call dmom, laughing (probably hysterically) because this was just unbelievable.
In the meantime, dh arrives home, reacts amazingly well, tries to start the truck, and IT STARTS.
Call ds, tell him he doesn't have to come to us, we will come to him.
He cooks the ham for another hour and a half, and it is still not completely as hot as directions called for, but we decided to eat it anyway... and wonder of wonders, it was delicious.
By 11:30, ds and dgrands had eaten with us and I had ALL the dishes washed and the floor mopped (3 times). I thought it would NEVER stop feeling sticky. But finally... yes... kitchen is clean and all the kitchen cloths will soon be also.
WHAT A DAY TO START THE YEAR.
Now y'all see why I needed to just TRY AGAIN as soon as the 2nd arrived.
I need to take dgs to ball practice now, and then he is going out to eat with us, and we will take some ham to my dmom.
I still have not done my planner for the new year, and I haven't started on hardly any of the routines.
I did exercise first thing when I got up this morning.
Thanks for input re: my paranoia. DS brought this over restored to factory settings, so if I ever have to return it, I will do likewise.
If I can just figure out this internet problem, I'll be in good shape.
That never happens to me! 
