Postby Kathryn-in-Canada » Thu Feb 08, 2024 9:13 am
I've been gone for a week according to the open tabs in my browser.
I have not cuop.
Back held up over having dgs2.9 here for 3 days. I had dh help me with him because he's at a stubborn stage and I refuse to lift him or bend over to drag him. It wasn't our best visit but we had fun with one morning at the park and another at the museum (that was his biggest tantrum, he doesn't do transitions well at all and he screamed for 40 minutes.) He is on antibiotics so dh handled wrestling him to get those in and did a great job. He also had a rash around his mouth (not impetigo, possibly from the antibiotics?) and that bothered him the last night.
We met ds half way and had a nice breakfast at a diner and he was fussy with daddy too. He has too much energy and needs to be able to run and run (which is why the museum was a hit, he could run without being in a snow suit.)
Church meeting on Sunday went ok, the minutes will show a unified church and there was no discussion of any of the issues that make us dysfunctional. Just as I expected. The new council has 3 good people on it, and 3 bad people on it (including the chair) and more people but since they only read the names quickly and hadn't written them down anywhere.) Then the committee chairs were read out and voted on only by the Council members. So my committee which had 2 chairs imposed on us (one radically opposed to the minister) had no say in whether or not these people should be the chairs. Nor was there a chance to question the procedure. Sigh...
I did manage to get some heavy housework done on Sunday afternoon and more on Monday while ds picked up dgs2.9 so the apartment looks fine. I've kept up with laundry too, and just have to put the sheets back on the bunk bed. Dh leaves tomorrow on a trip and has all the clothes he needs for that.
Thus I'm taking today off and taking dd to IKEA. We haven't had a day together for a very long time and she need furniture because she's moving the kids into their own rooms (they currently share) and when she detached the dresser from the wall, discovered it and the wall was covered in mold so that was given away for parts (the drawers and frame were just fine, just the backing board was moldy) and the kids are not allowed to sleep in their current room (which will become dgd's room) until the mold is removed. They are awaiting word on if they have to replace the drywall.
<skippable commentary on the contrasts between my kids' homes>
Their basement is currently being rebuilt for the same reason, although in that case, it was a leaking water filter that contributed to the mold growth. (Or not, it might just be that was what had the insurance adjuster discover the mold in the basement.) The outside wall there was stripped down to the studs, new insulation installed and they are awaiting new drywall to be installed. In the bedroom it is the same external wall, and likely isn't properly insulated so condensation will form on it when the room is too humid. Dd tends to over humidify the bedroom and has sealed the window tightly so there is no fresh air getting into the room. In both cases dd and dsil are reaping what they sowed, ignoring problems that were obvious to anyone else with a functioning nose (and the fact at least one of them is ill all the time.) And over-sealing their home so there was no circulation of fresh air. I had to go down to the basement last Friday to get something and it was the first time since they moved in that the room didn't smell damp and musty to me.
OCD is a terrible condition, even when one appears to be 'functional.' She is so obsessed with making no carbon footprint and also with being a penny pincher, that she refuses to create safe air flow in the house (because that means bringing in colder outside air) and running her furnace fan all the time (which uses electricity she feels she shouldn't use). What they really need is a new heat pump and air exchanger. Their furnace it near end of life, same with their air conditioner, and a heat pump would replace both of those and they are installed with heat-recovery air exchangers that exhaust stale air from the home and preheat the cold air being brought in. At most, she would just open a panel on the furnace and suck the air from the basement up to circulate through the rest of the house with obvious downsides.
Having to do major repairs is a real pain and can be overwhelming when life is already overwhelming due to mental stress. But that is part of owning a home and being an adult. If they aren't willing to do the work, they shouldn't own a home.
Ds and ddil are the opposite. Their tiny home has issues, but they are 'on it' and have a plan. They too save energy (because they can't afford to burn it) and also have an a/c and furnace at the end of life. But they have booked an energy audit and will be replacing these items (and the hot water heater) this year. First they have to rip off their deck since it blocks access to the tiny back yard and they need to get mini-heavy equipment in to do the work of removing the old stuff and putting in new. So they will be taking on heavy debt this year which is scary to them but something that has to be done. In the meantime, dd is about to pay off her house (bought 5 years before ds bought his) and yet won't spend any money on making it safe and livable. Ds's is a challenge with 4 people, 2 large dogs and two cars on a tiny lot in a tiny house (about 3/4 the size of my apartment and half the size of dd's.) But it doesn't smell (despite diapers and dogs) and has a bright and happy energy from the owners who are working hard to do their best. Ds works 3 jobs (and ddil works 2) and yet they still make time to build a play structure for dgs2.9, and a third bedroom so DC can have her own room, and plan on other projects to make their home adapt as their family needs change.
They can't afford to move and it is not the right house for them. Ds bought the house as a starter home for a single man with its two bedrooms and a basement hot tub and HUGE deck for entertaining. The hot tub is now gone because within 1 year of buying the house he had an 11 year old step daughter and a dog. And within 2 years, a baby and 2 dogs! But they never complain that they don't have space or money, they simply work to make the most of what they have.
<end commentary>
Poof, dd is excited about going off today with me so I'm getting ready to meet her at the LRT station and take her out to IKEA. I need to be dressed and fed (and maybe actually do some paperwork) before she gives me her ETA.