Since it is already Monday in all the North American time zones, I think, I thought I would start a new page.
Night Three in this very quiet house, except for the sounds that make me sure someone is breaking in... what was that... that's a weird sound... etc. Second night alone. (Last night I barely slept two hours, but having dgrands here was a huge help.)
I've read through or at least skimmed through Sunday's posts, and I just want to thank you all, again, for keeping us in prayer and thinking of me as you go through your day.
The last two days have been awfully hectic -- at times ds and I had three phones ringing (his, mine, our landline), text messages dinging, and someone knocking at the door. We have enough food to feed an army. It is a wonderful problem to have at a time like this, of course. Busy is good. As long as I am talking to someone, I can hold it together, laugh at funny stories, share non-dh related stories, and just normally carry on. But the minute I'm left alone, I get a nervous feeling in the pit of my stomach and start tearing up.
Tonight after ds and ddil left, I really had a big cry. I was reading all the FB posts, comments, how much dh meant to his ballplayers and students, some of my family members posting how we had lost another precious family member, a great one, etc..., and I just had a complete come apart. I did text back and forth with a dfriend whose husband also had CHF and died a few years ago. She was very reassuring.
Nodding my head in agreement with HRH, Sundrop info. I've seen those "Golden Cola" signs too. If it's as good as a cup of coffee, I need to start drinking it myself. I wonder if the cherry Sundrop has the same amount. I love that flavor.
Also continuing in awe of LadyM's son, just tearing into that transmission and getting it done. I should do that, LOL... just start with the roof and the ceiling that needs new drywall. I'm sure there are YouTubes that would show me how to do these things.
Just wanted to check in. I hope y'all have an amazing week. It will be the hardest week of my life, I'm sure, but ds continues to talk me through my panic moments and assure me that there will be a new normal and we won't always feel like we do at this moment. I know that eventually, I will think of dh with smiles, not tears, and eventually I will adjust to the quieter house without getting scared at every creak and pop I hear. Eventually, I will quit having these fleeting thoughts of "Oh, I need to tell dh that..." when I hear something funny or something especially complimentary to him. But right now... it's just a weird time all around.