Postby lucylee » Sat Apr 20, 2024 5:48 pm
What's up? Well... just trying to keep everything going, just trying to maintain whatever the new normal is going to be.
DGD spent the night. Later I took her home, then went to buy groceries, and then went to get dgs to spend tonight with me. Tomorrow, I"ll have both of them for most of the afternoon, but ddil is not working, so they will stay at home tomorrow night.
I will have to take dgs to Sunday School tomorrow... and I might (*might) just go myself.
I have not gone to Sunday School in probably 15 years or more. DH never wanted to go, and I went by myself until dfil had his stroke. Up until then, my inlaws had always stopped and got dh for the worship service as they were on their way. After the stroke, pretty soon, dmil quit going to church and then dh was without a ride. So I stopped going to Sunday School.
I just don't know. I'm kinda intimidated by some of the people in the class -- they probably have more $ than I do, and they dress really nice, and the women are just the kind who always look so pulled together that sometimes I feel frumpy or too plain and unsophisticated. OTOH, they have all been so kind and thoughtful since dh passed away... and one of the men -- a long-time friend -- told me, "You need to come back to SS, when you're ready."
So... is tomorrow too soon? Does it look disrespectul?
It's a pretty social bunch, but as dbil's girlfriend and I were saying yesterday, This is one time I don't have to apologize or explain -- I should just do what I feel like; no one is (or at least no one should be) expecting anything of me.
I was glad I went to the ballgame, but I kinda teared up when I was thinking about how I used to have to remember all the technicalities of a play -- if the catcher threw dgs out at first, etc... (if I went without dh, I mean)... but now I don't have to tell that to anyone. I just felt my lips trembling and I had to really concentrate on something else.
Yesterday TA-DAs:
* changed tv satellite to my name, dropped sports package, only $14/month right now, but cancelled auto renew for next year's MLB package, and that will be a $25/month savings.
* picked up death certificates at funeral home
* washed and capped a gallon of strawberries
* hung garden flag (traditional AU design; dh liked it when I ordered it.)
* dgd spent the night
* set up new A pple watch (w/ds' help)
Today TA-DAs:
* Cleaned out the fridge, threw out almost all the funeral food
* Bought groceries
* put solar light beside patio -- hoping it will shine on my back steps
* Called dfriend to tell him the news (my dfriend's husband, the one who died in May of 2022, with the estranged daughter)
* Swept kitchen floor
Going to get supper for dgs and me now.
Tomorrow is another day.