"Clutter Queen" needs help

[CandleMom]

Hi all. I'm new to the group but LOVE what you do. I need your help,though. Not only am I a clutter queen, so is my family. Is it a "learned" trait????? I also have a home office, which only adds to the mayhem. Is there a good place to start? I mean, I honestly feel so overwhelmed by it all. I've tried de-cluttering just one spot at a time, but inevitably, I find myself unable to de-clutter because I have no place to PUT what I'm trying to de-clutter. It's like a vicious circle. Any helpful pointers?

[lucylee]

CandleMom -- first, welcome to our group!!!
Now... I don't have any suggestions, unfortunately. I mean, I know what to do... it is just sooo hard to do. DH, DS, and I are ALL terrible packrats... terribly sentimental... also hate to be wasteful ("I might need that sometime.") You can look at today's PWYC and see how far I've progressed in my "guest" room, which certainly is not ready for any guests!!!

I think what we are SUPPOSED to do is get in there and throw out a ton of stuff, b/c we KNOW we will still have the memory, even if we don't have the electric football game... and no it is not going to be worth whatever $ we would make on e-bay or in a yard sale to try to sell it... and ds didn't even play with it much when he was little anyway, so what kind of memory are we trying to preserve? Are we going to FORGET that yes, ds was indeed a child once upon a time???
See, I can talk the talk... I just can't walk the walk.

Now, once you get in the proper mindset to throw out stuff, I think the rest falls in place pretty well. Get a bag or box for throw away, a bag or box for keep, and start at the door and work your way around the room.

Some would say work 15 minutes at a time, but I don't even get started good in 15 minutes. 30 minutes would work better for me.
Sort & trash for 30 minutes, then carry the trash bag to the trash, and put all the stuff in the keep bag where it goes.

Like you said, there's the rub. That's the problem I'm facing now... Where DOES it go???

Maybe someone else will post and and give us both some better advice! I just posted so you'd know you're not alone!

[Harriet]

Hi, Candlemom. Welcome. Of course there are many places you could decide to start, but a good rule of thumb is "Visible Clutter First". This not only helps you most with issues of visitors and calm feelings when you entertain, but gives you the most positive reinforcement because you yourself see more improvement. So for an absolute beginning, I would suggest your entry and front-door area, then moving on through the most visible parts of the house. Leave cabinets, closets and drawers for later.

Yes, sometimes the lack of space to even organize/sort is telling us we need to do more throw-away than organization. It can be tough. I use the surface of my made bed or the surface of our dining table as a sorting-spot and try to limit myself to small enough projects that the whole of it can be put away within an hour at the most.

There is a forum below this one called "The Declutted Home" that you might find helpful. We chat about our declutter experiences.

Don't be surprised if your signature line is deleted, by the way. It won't be anything personal at all. All personal business links by posters are deleted here.

Hope to see you posting often. You have definitely found a place with many folks in the same clutter-boat!

[Emptynester]

Hi Candlemom

Welcome to the village. You'll find lots of us claim the title of "Clutter Queen" here. I de-cluttered the easy way - sold the house and moved into a 35 ft. 5th wheel and now all I do is travel. LOL

Seriously, (which I seldom am) your might get some help from our thread called the Decluttered Home. The gals there share a lot of ideas.

In my case, when I first started, I started in the kitchen. Made sure it was company ready every night before I went to bed. Then I got the 3 (or 4) magic boxes. 1. Throw this away. 2. Give this away. 3.This belongs in some other room. 4. Sell it. (didn't use this one very much as my "stuff" was mostly not sell-able.) Sometimes I would have two or three boxes of box #3 waiting until I got to that room. I would start at the door of a room and work my way around. The first go around I just did floor and stacks on furniture. After about six months - I was able to work on drawers, closets, and cabinets. I would keep up with my routines of dinner, duds and dishes each week and focus on only one room doing about 2 or 3 blocks of 15 minutes at a time. That way I didn't get overwhelmed.

Hope this helps. Try out the Decluttered Home and stay here in PWYC to let us know how you do thru the day.

HUGS!!

Shucks - Lucy and Harriet beat me to it. Well, blend all we said together and maybe it will help!

[sherinjoy]

HI, Welcome Candlemom -to the group. You got some great advice from Lucylee, Emptynester and Harriet. I'll just add my "two cents" because I've been decluttering too.

For basic how-to information, I recommend Julie Morgenstern's book "Organizing from the Inside Out". She has a formula similar to what the other posters were suggesting - start in one area where the most visible clutter is. Her formula is SPACE - Sort, Purge, Assign a Home, Containerize, and Equalize. The book explains each step very well. She has a chapter on each area of the home and how to attack the specifics. You mentioned home office and she has a chapter on Home Based Business and home office.
If possible, I have found it most helpful to work with a buddy, or professional organizer, to start. It will give you the momentum to continue on your own, once you get the process.
Julie Morgenstern has a website, several books (which your library probably has), and is featured on Oprah and Oprah magazine. You may have seen her also on television specials she's filmed.

As Lucylee mentioned, sentimental objects are sometimes hard to deal with. They have been my hardest to let go. But the definition of clutter is "Delayed decisions" and that is what sentimental kid stuff usually is for me. My DS is 16 now and I've been decluttering his elementary school work because he's not going to take it with him when he moves out, and I don't have room to keep it forever.
Hope the information helps. Join us in our monthly decluttering thread!

[Kathryn-in-Canada]

About sentimental things:

For some, like school work, it might work to photograph the pieces and then put all the photos into an album (along with report cards and the odd 'original' that you keep.)

For others, it might work to create a memory box and when the box is full, you need to purge.

For others, there is no answer. I still get a sick feeling in my stomach when I think of items I let go in my dad's estate sale. And my house still has all the photos and letters being stored under the pool table (he died 4.5 years ago.) I want to sell the pool table but I can't because it is hiding clutter.