Books about Decluttering and Putting Things Away

[BookSaver]

Not sure where to put this, but I didn't want to hijack the October Random Declutter thread.

Here is my extensive review of The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up: The Japanese art of decluttering and organizing by Marie Kondo, copyright 2014.

This book is due back at the library today and I don't want to renew it because I know someone else is waiting for it. It's a small book, slightly larger than 5"x7" and only 204 pages plus an index. I didn't expect it to take me so long to finish it, but I had some other junior and young adult fiction books to preview for work. Frankly, those were much more fun to read, so I kept setting this one aside.

Ms. Kondo's approach is to make decluttering decisions not by what you want to discard, but by what you want to keep. She uses the expression, "Does this spark joy?"

She states that in order to declutter thoroughly, you must pick up each item and hold it in your hands. If you're working in your closet, you can't just look at the clothes hanging there, you have to take each piece out and hold it. If you're trying to reduce the number of books on shelves, you can't just read the titles on the shelf, instead you must take out each book one by one to think about it.

That concept makes sense to me. Things that have hung around awhile become invisible, so decisions get postponed. As she says, when you hold each item of clothing in your hands, it gives you the opportunity to inspect it to see if it needs mending or is worn out, if you like the way the fabric feels to your skin, etc. It's easier to make the decision to keep or toss.

She says the specific order of categories is important:
From page 65 "Start with clothes, then move on to books, papers, komono (miscellany), and finally things with sentimental value. If you reduce what you own in this order, your work will proceed with surprising ease. By starting with the easy things first and leaving the hardest for last, you can gradually hone your decision-making skills, so that by the end, it seems simple."

Clothing subcategories:
Tops (shirts, sweaters, etc.)
Bottoms (pants, skirts, etc.)
Clothes that should be hung (jackets, coats, suits, etc.)
Socks
Underwear
Bags (handbags, messenger bags, etc.)
Accessories (scarves, belts, hats, etc.)
Clothes for specific events (swimsuits, kimonos, uniforms, etc.)
Shoes
* Note that she considers it taboo to "downgrade" an item to loungewear to avoid getting rid of it. She thinks clothes for relaxing around the house and pajamas are items that should make you feel good, not just leftovers. Keep getting rid of things that don't "spark joy."

Books & Papers (not including letters or greeting cards, which are sentimental items):
1) Currently in use
2) Needed for a limited time
3) Must be kept indefinitely
She has a chapter on what to do with papers. She throws away almost all. She does admit that some books and papers need to be kept even if they don't "spark joy" -- but she doesn't think a lot of effort needs to be made in regard to storing them.

Komono (misc. items):
CDs & DVDs
Skin care products
Makeup
Accessories
Valuables (passports, credit cards, etc.)
Electrical equipment and appliances (digital cameras, electric cords, etc.)
Household equipment (stationary and writing materials, sewing kits, etc.)
Household supplies (expendables like medicine, detergents, tissues, etc.)
Kitchen goods/food supplies (spatulas, pots, blenders, etc.)
Other (spare change, figurines, etc.)
Hobby equipment or supplies

Do Sentimental Items after all other categories are complete. She also gets rid of most sentimental items, claiming that they fulfilled their purpose the first time you saw them and after time no longer have value.

I agree with her procedure to declutter 1 category of items at a time. She doesn't work by location, because an example that she gives is a client who stored many of her clothes in her husband's closet. If that client only cleared her own closet, she still had more clothes to evaluate that were out of sight, out of mind. So I agree, gather all like things together so you can see how much you have, whether you have duplicates, what is easy to discard, whether damaged items would be easier to mend or to replace, etc.
(editing to add: By "agree with" I mean in order to do a major, serious, must-downsize-or-else project then categories are a good way to go. In reality, I almost always declutter by location -- pick an area according to available time, do a concentrated blitz attack, might come back to the same location at the next declutter session or might pick a totally different location to attack. However, in an ideal situation, focus on 1 category at a time would have more lasting results.)

Where I disagree with her method is her insistence that the only way to effectively declutter any category is to gather all the items at once and pile them on the floor. Don't stop working until you have picked up every item and made the decision whether it stays or goes.

I think many of us here on this forum have tried a version of "I'm going to dig in and do all of this once and for all! This (room/closet/desk/drawer/whatever) will be cleaned today or else!" Unfortunately, most of us don't have the luxury of a long block of uninterrupted time to complete such large projects. That's why we've switched to 15 minute sessions, or small specific projects where we don't make more mess than we can clean up in our allotted time.

I'm halfway through the book and I need to skim read the rest. I'm ok with that. There is a lot of repetition. Some procedures are nice but different, such as saying thank you to each possession before putting it away or discarding it. Some are similar to what other organizers do, like what I heard Peter Walsh say on a show once about possessions being dishonored when they are stuck in boxes and never seen, or overlooked because of an overwhelming quantity of other items.

The old show Clean Sweep also did the method of taking absolutely everything out of a room and spreading it all over the yard outdoors to force quick & drastic discarding. That made for exciting tv programming, but I don't think it's realistic for most people except in circumstances like urgently needing to move to a different house.

I don't know that the result is "Magic" but I think if an idea in her book encourages us to declutter stuff we don't want or need, that's a good thing.

So ... has anyone else read a newish book with helpful or motivational tips?

[Dove]

Thanks for this post, Bookie. Lots of good ideas here!

[Kathryn-in-Canada]

When there was a discussion about this book earlier this year, I put a request for it from the library. I picked it up on Wednesday.

At this point I'm 1/4 of the way through.

Part of me thinks the writer has some interesting ideas.

Part of me thinks she is mentally ill, struggling with the 'tidying' equivalent of anorexia or bulimia.

An example, from around age 15, p. 40 in the book.

"One day after school, I opened the door to my room to begin cleaning as usual. at the sight of that untidy space I finally lost it. "I don't want to tidy anymore!" I cried....I had spent three years tidying and discarding things, yet my room still felt cluttered."

It sounds like someone who has dieted and exercised to the point of ill-health and still seeing themselves as fat.

She also talks about not letting your family see what you are doing, secretly discarding their possessions because it bothered her that they had excess (according to her) in their life, and forcing her sister to take possessions off her hands until her sister's room was overstuffed with things. This reminds me of either purging in secret or asking someone else to finish up my food instead of eating it myself.

She talks about using shopping therapy after a major discarding to make herself feel better (reminded me of binge eating.)

All of this screams deep seated unhappiness probably due to something completely unrelated to a messy room, and the need to control her life by controlling possessions.

Yet, her instructions for the discarding phase of 'tidying' so far make sense:

1. Visualize what you want your space to look like. That makes sense because it helps to visualize a dream result.

2. Why do you want it to look like this? (And for each answer, ask why again, and then again, up to five 'levels' down.) This helps you internalize the dream and make it a goal.

3. Focus on only one category at a time. This breaks down the goal into more manageable steps.

4. Pile everything from that category in one place, regardless of where it was in the home. This makes really good sense for things like clothing but even things like bathroom supplies which may be in each bathroom, a drawer, a linen cupboard and possibly pantry shelves (thinking about my own home.) How can you know how much you have unless you see it all in one place?

5. Do not put away until the category has been purged (in other words, focus solely on discarding and don't allow yourself to get distracted by thinking of storage places for the things you are keeping.)

6. Handle every item and ask if it brings you joy. This is the part that many detractors think is nuts but it is a step shared by feng shui so seems natural to me. She also talks about how items that have been stored away for a long time will feel 'dead' and may no longer bring you joy. Another feng shui concept, that the energy of your space, you, the universe and the items are what combine to give joy and so to release the joy, an item must be used. That's why I use my antique china when there are small children present. If it breaks, it 'died' while being part of a memorable meal but if I just stare at it on the shelf, it has no chance to live out its purpose in life.

I hate how she wants everything to be thrown away. No attempt is made at finding new homes for items.

Her constant descriptions of her behaviour through her teens and young adulthood and her description of her clients make me feel really uncomfortable. I don't watch Hoarders or any show like that partly because I feel it is exploiting the plight of these people who need therapy and that the dumpsters are a bandaid solution.

Even though she has chosen to expose herself this way, I can't help but feel she doesn't realize how ill she is. But it is a fine line, my sister and sister-in-law would tease or mock me for the SHE cards and yet they worked for me and allow me to live a more productive life.

The difference between me and Marie Kondo is that she feels everyone should live the way she lives. I present the SHE system as something that works for me and if you share my weaknesses, it might work for you too so here's the info, decide for yourself. Kondo says if you don't do things her way you will fail.

[Harmony]

This was all interesting to read. It strikes me that what one person is comfortable with is different from what another person is comfortable with. It also is a fact that your way of life and time constraints have something to do with how much stuff is around. My level of paperwork around here would make others cringe I'm sure. And the time I spend with it. I could never live a sparse existence when it comes to papers.

I have been in homes that make me uncomfortable because they just seem to have too much stuff. I gather MK is in that category. Too empty and I wonder where is their stuff and how do they live. I don't have the time to go into a closet or drawer for every little thing that I use on a daily basis, so some of my stuff must sit out. We have kleene x boxes in every room and wastebaskets at almost every chair, desk, bed. She would probably think that's too many.

I'll bet this book is in my library. I just might check it out!

[Kathryn-in-Canada]

Read a bit more at lunch.

Sign she is crazy: "In fact, to go through life without knowing how to fold is a huge loss." p.75
and, "So this is how you always wanted to be folded! - a historical moment in which your mind and the piece of clothing connect." p. 77

This isn't just folding. But folding the KonMari way.

OTOH, I was intrigued and went and folded my turtleneck drawer and my t-shirt drawer. I'm sad to say my clothes and my mind didn't connect so I'm obviously doing it wrong. But in both cases clothes are more visible, although in the case of the t-shirts, you can't see their fronts any more so all the white shirts look the same from the neckline (which is the part that is 'up' in your drawer and all you can see.) There may be some space saving as well. Certainly that is true in the t-shirt drawer, not sure about the thicker turtleneck sweaters.

Harmony: you may have more paperwork strewn about (hard for me to imagine since my place is so bad, but I expect your work is more paper intensive than mine) but I'd certainly understand and not judge you for it.

I find that things have to be out in order for them to get any attention. If I file vertically current items, all I end up doing is overstuffing the hanging folder with 'to-do' paperwork. In fact, there's one file frame that has all of F2014 and F2015 waiting to be properly files and I've started to keep F2016 in a folio in the dining room (tucked behind a piece of furniture) because there's no space for it in the hanging folder frame. Oh, and I've hidden the hanging folder frame under a long cloth since it is in the corner of the living room (piled on top of some file archive boxes.)

[Lynlee]

I've read about half the Marie Kondo book. I guess I got sidetracked into completely changing my life before I did the major discard.
One dd is a major sentimental keeper of memories, in the form of stuff collected from long ago, and she is having success with this method.
I've heard of other hoarders who are having success using her method, adapting it if they need to. I totally didn't think it would work for them.
Early in the book there is a question about imagining the life you want to lead. Lots of books have that.
Then there is a lot of her story, and how she got over her anxieties with needing to tidy compulsively, I guess.
She states what didn't work for her. If what didn't work for her works for you, then I guess you have no need for suggestions in her book.
It is recommended you read the whole book before starting, although her online lectures give an outline and you can go from there, she says. She suggests whole process of going through everything will take 6 months.
She suggests touching everything as you decide to keep or let go, With the does it spark joy question.
Categories - she says to strictly follow the order. Some folk just consider and work one sub categories at a time.
Starting with sleeveless tops, inc camisoles or singlets. Put them all in a heap. decide each one. etc.

the mop - It takes a while to get to the miscellaneous category, but then it will be a case of - would an unmopped floor spark joy if I got rid of this? Maybe hands and knees, dishpan of water and microfiber suits a person better. Maybe there will be a mop that does spark joy over other versions.
She covers it in her lectures - that some things you just need to keep. Like tax info. Needing those records and not having it, that would be unjoyful. The paper trail that gets to your current name. etc. The toilet brush sure beats any alternatives. So it does spark joy, though not a cuddle it type of joy.

Re the hoarders I've heard on this - they didn't pile every item of clothing on the floor, all at once! but went thru sub categories, as suited them. There is a phase -doing straight KonMarie - for following her instructions exactly, and there are many hoarders who adapt her method and find it helpful, where nothing else has worked. Lots think - no, not getting rid of all my books, but maybe downsize somewhat.

Kathryn - I agree - I think MK's initial tidying and decluttering whilst growing up sounds pathological. Its her story of growing out of that condition. To just making it her business - that takes her around the world.
In the discarding phase - yes things can go to charity, consignment shop, whatever.
The other part of discarding is to thank the item for its use, or what it taught you. Like - it didn't suit me. (perhaps)

I know I had to disagree that the other decluttering methods she was dismissing as not working, do work for some folk. I think her point is - if you are going to try her method, to jump right in, not be struggling juggling 10 different methods at once.

For me - I randomly ask "does it spark joy?", and toss readily things I see that fit the answer 'its time to go' without waiting to get to that category.

[Lynlee]

re the folding - she has a perculiar folding method, so middle front of tshirt is visible when folded.
fold sides to center, fold from top and bottom so central part is on outer fold so its the height of the drawer. Some things are folded in thirds. Its meant to stand up on its own when folded. even socks and undies. Lots of utube videos on this.

[Lynlee]

About the 'life changing magic' bit.
This is what I think is alluded too, and it is a common element in a number of schools of thought.
'a fundamental change/ reorganisation of the brain' occurs for some people who undergo certain processes.
The person is essentially changed. yes they have to keep up the new way of living, but the new way of living is like a 'conversion experience', like stepping throw for a new beginning.
Literature that mention this reorganisation of the brain, of a persons psyche, is contained in
psychology/psychiatry
religious/spiritual
12 step groups where someone works through the steps as a life changing event
'the brain that changes itself' by Norman Dioge (He summerised a host of brain changing studies in that book)

I think the KonMarie thing of deciding to do something different, then doing it quickly 'in 6 mths' possibly has the same effect of might bring a new mindset, fundamentally changing how the person thinks about things, and where they put things down, and how they think of themselves and their relationships. Mind you, they might have allocated a fundamentally more simple way in regards to what 'away' is, so that 'away' is not so difficult to do.

I think just trying to live that lifestyle, without going through the KonMarie method of discarding, would be irritating.

[Lynlee]

Do things in part acts
(Recovery International)

[Kathryn-in-Canada]

I'm going to have to look up the videos because when I stand up my t-shirts in the drawer, I can't see the front, I'm just looking down on the top of the 'standing' shirt so see a couple of folds and the neckline. The necklines are all almost identical, and the only thing that separates one white shirt from another is the screened pattern on the front.

My drawers are about 5" deep so the folding has to be quite thick to get it short enough, thus hiding the pattern on the front.

If I fold bottom third up and top third down and then in half once more, collar won't show but pattern might. That might be what I'm missing since I folded the 'rectangle' in half and half again to get it short enough to stand up in my drawer.