Declutter Strategy Meeting, May 2017

Share your decluttering activities and ideas.
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Harmony
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Re: Declutter Strategy Meeting, May 2017

Postby Harmony » Fri May 19, 2017 6:33 pm

blessed, I just had to stop and tell you what a wonderful job you're doing. You are right, our stuff takes up time and space.

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Re: Declutter Strategy Meeting, May 2017

Postby blessedw2 » Fri May 19, 2017 10:09 pm

you touched my heart when i needed it most! thank u d harmony
it is always a joy to be here with you!

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Postby blessedw2 » Sat May 20, 2017 7:36 am

feeling better today. the stuff just got to me

dd younger had boxes delivered - they arrived from Florida- my mother gave 2 sweaters that she herself stopped wearing - and a bunch of books and movies etc. and cloths!!! cloths oh my goodness. then dh went again to barnes and nobles and bought another book.

I don't know what I am going to do with them. my husband is a neat hoarder - just like his dear mom was. nothing was over flowing and everything had its place but so so much and much is so old.

dd younger - a great person but with d mom and dh she continues to bring things in the house that are little trinkets and clothing and books (always more books than they can read)

I found this on hoarding quotes from Mayo Clinic:

Hoarding is a persistent difficulty discarding or parting with possessions because of the perceived need to save them.


dd and dh are the parting of possessions because of the perceived use or need to save them for future use.

I think after I finish this project I will have a meeting with them.
it is always a joy to be here with you!

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Re: Declutter Strategy Meeting, May 2017

Postby blessedw2 » Sat May 20, 2017 10:32 am

as I had a couple years of not decluttering, my family is having a difficult time with me letting go... dd older said a mean thing but probably true - she apologized - since I haven't decluttered in so long she said oh this is just a phase - you will do it for 2 weeks and forget it. She said I will toss things I shouldn't - in my lifetime I had one thing I at first regretted getting rid of but even now it would not work out for me. That was me years and years ago - over 20 years ago. She apologized - she said she deals with people all the time and the stuff (tons and tons of stuff and it drives her crazy when she comes home and I am working on something she does all the time - she said she doesn't want to be part of seeing this when she comes home. but she will have to adjust as I need to get things done.

I have had the can't have anyone over syndrome the last two years because of so much stuff and I can't stand it.

Learning not to listen and take it in is hard for me but I try hard to shut out negative voices regarding decluttering.

dd older - wants things clean an empty but it stresses her out if she is here and it's happening. she is so frustrated by dh and dd youngers stuff. (little does she know how I feel :ugeek: )

dd younger oh my gosh also a great person but my gosh I can't take her and dh bringing in any more stuff! She is also very negative about me doing work

dh oh my - he is supporting dd's habit but at the same complains about it all the time. but he also doesn't want to do the work that needs doing - clutter overwhelms him but he also can't get rid of his things.

They all love (LOVE) THE AFTER but they give me grief during the process. You can't have clean with out the process. ;)

They have memories about what we have done together in the past as kids but can't let go and live now. I don't want to have a unit because I don't believe in wasting my money on it but between both girls and dh I am strongly considering it so I can have a home again. My basement is filled with boxes .and both dd's stuff.
it is always a joy to be here with you!

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Re: Declutter Strategy Meeting, May 2017

Postby blessedw2 » Mon May 22, 2017 9:05 am

I am sitting in the 3 season room listening to the birds sing and the wind chimes.
I am beginning to see progress and have made a plan of attack to break things down into workable bits.
it is always a joy to be here with you!

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Re: Declutter Strategy Meeting, May 2017

Postby blessedw2 » Mon May 22, 2017 12:53 pm

continued process: dh is overwhelmed - when ever I go to straightening or dejunking etc. he sees other peoples clutter and not his own. ;) He said that it has been depressing him - but he continues to bring more stuff in - small as it is it is still stuff.

d mom is a problem for dd younger re: cloths and stuff and magazines. I asked her - begged her not to bring anymore stuff in the house until dd younger deals with the boxes. This morning here she comes and gives dd some cloths of hers. :|

I so far I tossed a bag of cleaning supplies and wire hangers - I know I won't use all of them.
dh was willing to get rid of my stuff today - shelf - but not willing to get rid of our cleaning supplies. So I just tossed them. it would take years to go through what we have.

I have to process, away from the clutter, what I need to do next.
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Packed wicker baskets and bank
washed more laundry that was sitting in back room
packed dd youngers other comforter
more of dd youngers laundry washed and separated into clear boxes downstairs - I need dd younger to go through her cloths after I put everything she owns in one area. I need her to get the full effect of her stuff.
laundry went off and now for sheets or pillows

trying to think what will best help my home right now... dd's music and instruments are in the front room as well as my scanning station. Now I have enough room in my family room to do my scanning.

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cleaned the bottom of the front hall closet - dd's banjo and 2 guitars, reverb thingy is there now. the closet needs painting but that is not my goal right now. dh has been collecting umbrellas in the front hall (I know he has one in his car) so I donated one and kept 3 for now. the guitar, mandolin and ukulele on their stands are still in the front room. AS soon as dd youngers room is painted her ukulele will go back in her room.
-dogs things are now out of there and will go into the garage.
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I went through our music - packed some/tossed some/put other music books on the book shelf.
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oh my - I found more music :shock:
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I can't let us get any more music unless we let go of the old - It is stuffed into a 12"x12"x12" book area and I have a box in the basement. I tossed the recorders from elementary school
- had a little frustration at me on dh's part - he loves his newspapers/magazines and books - he doesn't hoard newspapers but he likes to keep them out for a long time especially our local magazine. I asked if he could go through them some time and dh heard now... he snipped at me saying he wanted to do it. (he did get rid of about 6 magazines) - he also got frustrated about the old church hymnal that he had in music... 1. he doesn't play music and 2. he doesn't sing - he wanted me to keep it... not him... I suggested his library if he wanted to keep it and then he decided to recycle it.

- what I am finding - others want me to keep the stuff they want and don't want to let go of it. They want me to keep things because they have ties to it but want me to find a spot for it. I am finding that my dd younger and dh are the keepers of things. Dh can't handle the stress of decluttering/probably because it makes him have to make a lot of decisions - he is good at house keeping but not good at making decisions. it stresses him out. He can see he has a hard time letting go.
it is always a joy to be here with you!

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Harriet
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Re: Declutter Strategy Meeting, May 2017

Postby Harriet » Tue May 23, 2017 2:00 am

I want to go back and read all. Quote is very clear. "persistent" is an important word there. If only it were something that varied and changed it wouldn't be the same difficulty. This may let HRH off the hook for the definition, because he will occasionally have a "purge", which also will drive you crazy.

Real quick wanted to report, dd has "KonMari"-ed her drawers and took me in to see them. (I think that's how you spell that) In other words, super neat folded clothing in drawers, most items easily seen. I doubt it's really Kon Mari correct. But reminds me of it.

blessed, appreciate your book-buying dh! I live in constant hope HRH will enjoy reading stuff for himself instead of asking me to "Reader's Digest version" things for him. :roll: This comes from 1) dyslexia that was unaddressed during his childhood, for which he had to compensate by himself, 2) many years of being a boss at work and having an assistant to spoil him on the written word. If he shares interesting things/knowledge with me, it will be from tv or internet. I wish he'd really stick with streams of thought that aren't soundbites (soundbytes?) such as reading a full book on a subject at his leisure. All his Bible study, even, is tv, going along with an early morning program. I'd suggest the library as a compromise for you two, except I just had to pay a fine, so I'm no example!! There are pitfalls to library, too, although it does set a helpful deadline for books to remain in our possession.

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Re: Declutter Strategy Meeting, May 2017

Postby blessedw2 » Tue May 23, 2017 9:50 am

I am so so happy to see you d harriet! I think the library would be perfect but dh loves to buy a book when it's at its cheapest :lol:
it is always a joy to be here with you!

blessedw2
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Re: Declutter Strategy Meeting, May 2017

Postby blessedw2 » Tue May 23, 2017 10:07 am

I am beginning to see that there is a big big difference between clutter and hoarding. I have been doing a lot of internal learning. ;) :roll: :D I am trying. lol

I decided to watch a couple short youtube hoarding videos. One woman, as others I have heard in the past, said she was a clutterer not a hoarder. She definitely walked over the line into hoarding. Not dirty but still no room to move. Then I saw the video of how hoarding affects the children.

I noticed the dreams of what could be are not being worked on but having the stuff makes some feel like they have that with the things they own. they feel like they lived that dream without really doing it .

I have done that. I had every quilt/sewing/dreams etc. so my stuff was in a closet but everywhere. Now that I limit myself to doing one project at a time I am getting things done. It's hard not to look at a kit or a pattern and go "one day" and not buy it and the material to go with it but I am finding it harder to donate or toss that pattern and material because it went out of style or my children became adults.

my sweet d mil was a clutterer - lots of knick knacks, also a bit of a keeper - it always looked clean but she had little piles of cards, papers, etc. - dh is this. dh's garage is becoming a bit of a dream hoard. (all the things he thinks he can still do and what he dreams of doing) He likes the appearance that he is a carpenter and we have so many tools etc. that have not been used in 30 years. But it makes him happy.
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Me:
I was a huge dreamer and creator - also a dreamer teacher - I loved teaching kids and scouts especially science and nature. I still "hoard" cook books. I finally got rid of all the loose recipes etc. my books are very neat but I have too many. I used to be a dreamer and hoarder of all cooking things - for the one day I learn how to do that dish... I started years ago learning different skills and can now let go of those supplies. My craft stuff used to be overwhelming - now I am down to a small box. My biggest problem is that ten Christmas - I have so so so many christmas boxes. I can't do that now but I will go through it. I have so much more work to do on myself. I am just tired of the stuff. My stuff is not clutter - it just hoards our life by having to move, clean, organize it. I no longer want to give it that time.

I realized too I was lazy and constantly cluttered (okay not doing things). Being such a huge dreamer and being so creative I always had an idea. There was a lot of joy with it but also a lot of chaos which took away my joy. I loved fun all the time. 8-)
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I have been reading up on how to help dd younger and her stuff. she has not figured that something doesn't have to be perfect - I hope to help her focus on one or two dreams at a time. Her stuff gone won't mean that she will never do that thing again.

my d mom is a very clean person but is an enabler for us - she is constantly dropping things off that she doesn't want (all high quality)
All my d sis in laws (all wonderful people) are very clean no clutter at all. one is a clean hoarder - her memories are so difficult to get rid of but all are organized in her home. She is one of the most intelligent and organized with her time good person I know.
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I am trying to learn how we all attribute to the constant problem we have so that we can be in our current life. but my constant bad habits will always be there so I know I will fall into the clutter/hoard-dreaming over and over again but I figure the more I know the better I will do. ;) or hope to.
it is always a joy to be here with you!

blessedw2
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Re: Declutter Strategy Meeting, May 2017

Postby blessedw2 » Wed May 24, 2017 1:04 pm

ok - laundry is still a problem in 3 areas - 3 season room - no laundry - (our laundry/dog area is too small to hold laundry; it can just hold machines and sink

so: I have clean laundry in the dining room, laundry ready to go upstairs to where it belongs, and laundry in our bedroom. So I need to focus on that.

dh and I went over the 3 season room on whats left to be done.
I called the city to get rid of refrigerator - we need to get it out tonight $45 (cheaper than junk king or got junk)
it is always a joy to be here with you!


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