hi b is sweet~~~ waving at you, I have been the Queen of not acting and thinking of all the grand things I would do. I really have gotten to a point where I see it as - what a waste of time. I have moved more things back and forth then you can imagine !!!! cheering you on as you work!!! I started with magazines first (believe it or not), I kept only the sheets I thought I could use and filed them, also I could only keep the current month. As soon as the new one came in the last one went out.
new struggle: Dd19 is trying something new on me... she is worried I will give everything away. I am keeping what works for the house. She is afraid that I will go the opposite way. sigh, I have to learn not to listen. I am kind but will continue on the plan. She is afraid I will become obsessed and give it all away. sigh.
I have had this type of thing all my life, don't do this because ... I remember I was given the opportunity in my 20's to go water skiing. dh talked me out of it as he didn't think I could do it. I really wanted to try but sat there instead of opening my mouth. I never went water skiing and now I am out of shape and over weight and could never do it now. I am not angry at him at all, just frustrated with myself always letting others talk me out of things. every time I got into exercise I always had someone say you can't go every day what about us. I am learning it is okay to be selfish for your health and well being but being able to balance it with family. I have noticed this guilt process with dh when we were young, he is wonderful though... he learned pretty fast. dd19 is very good about trying this on and doesn't even realize it. I have to laugh because I have met many an old woman who become stubborn that it is their time and they can say or do what they want as they are old enough. I understand where that comes from
Don't get me wrong, dd19 is one wonderful girl but I think she fears I will be ocd about getting rid of everything. but I know I wont
about family guilt: I went to a garage sale many many years ago and a woman was selling her passed moms ceramics, she had a house full of clutter and now was having little ones. Her sister came by when we were there and was appalled that she was getting rid of their moms clowns, cookie pots etc. "how could you get rid of this". Funny thing is she didn't want it. The sister guilted her into putting the clutter back into her house. If it was that important to her she should have taken it. The big thing the sister used was about the grand children, what will they get of mom type thing. I am sure there was many things that were special from their dmom by judging the garage sale. This has given me thought as I clean out my own home. My grandma's sweaters (many) were one of those things. everyone took one. I received the rest. I didn't even tell anyone as they wanted them to stay in the family but no one else wanted them, for them knowing it was at my house was fine. So I let go of the guilt and since no one wanted them I donated these beautiful sweaters. Someone else was blessed.
the reason for writing all this is to help me stay strong. it's terrible as it becomes as the expression goes one "my demons". Now I am struggling with self doubt, can't let that happen. I tend to drop things if someone has a problem with things even if I know its right.
Help keep me strong. dd19 doesn't realize the impact this puts on me. She is afraid that I will be ocd and give everyone everything. actually for the first time I am keeping what IS special to me and displaying it. So I have to really let go of the negative and keep working on what I know is right. dd19 is very stubborn about what is right for her so I need to stay calm and just do it.
(convincing myself
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