Postby Kathryn-in-Canada » Fri Dec 06, 2013 9:57 am
Knees kept me from exercising yesterday. They are better today but I'm afraid of doing anything. I will, just not yet (still in pj's.)
I'm concerned about dh, his brain isn't working properly again.
I've had to put a calendar in the bathroom so he'll know when to shower but that doesn't even work because he can't keep track of the day of the week. He can't remember to do simple things and I have to double check all those. I can't, however, double check his work. Ironically, he set a timer for the call from the neurologist but when it went off he had no idea what the time was for. Luckily, I had overheard the phone conversation setting it up and asked about that, and he was clued into the purpose of the timer just moments before the phone rang. He's not considered bad enough to qualify for testing under universal health coverage so we are spending the $$$$ to do that in March privately so we have a base-line. Honestly, he can't remember to flush the toilet or the day of the week so you'd think that would qualify.
He also wants to give away a lot of money. Not just the 10% we tithe but he wants to sell the house for only about 80 - 90% of what it is worth since it our friends buying it, and to give the majority of the income from the finders fee for the Canadian government project to an older person whose been working with dh on the project. That person is in bad financial shape, but partly due to his own carelessness and mind going but isn't our responsibility in any way imaginable except he is a fellow human being. It is dh's reputation and planning that got the meeting that might lead to the big pay-off. This guy helped dh with some of the grunt work but at most he should get 50% yet dh is happy to give all the income away. He feels it is good 'karma.' I keep thinking if you are going to give away $$$$ perhaps privileged white men with a house over their head and successful children shouldn't be at the top of the list - perhaps struggling poor seniors, or people struggling in other countries due to strife would be better choices.
As for the house, I'm willing to let it go for less than full market because I won't have to pay a real estate broker or prep the house for sale. Those savings of $$$$ plus the value of time and effort saved I'm happy to pass along to the buyers but not any extra.
It is one thing to be generous (taking our senior friend on the train to Toronto for the baseball game and overnight in a hotel cost us a few hundred dollars) but it is another to be giving away tens of thousands of dollars or more. He keeps thinking we have enough but the way he is spending money, we won't. I had to point out to him that our retirement plan is based on conservative spending and on assets that we can't just give away. He thinks I'm being too tight but we are still only in our early 50's and need to plan for at least 20 more years (30+ in my case but at least a decade of that in a nursing home due to Alzheimers.) I agree that due to family history we need to live as much as possible now because our senior years will not be the same as many of the seniors we know (we have terrible genes.) But we need to have money left for the bad end that is likely.