I haven't been on the scale for days now. Scared.
Sunday was OK (excellent for a Sunday but then I only had one morning service so had lunch at home.) I did bake up cookies for dessert but since they are frozen dough, I only made a half dozen and dh had 3 so I had 3. Maybe 200 calories tops.
Lots of walking last week so I averaged 11K steps a day, much to my surprise.
Monday was excellent, several hundred calories below my allotment. And I was just 150 steps below 10K.
Tuesday things fell apart. They were falling apart before ds came over and so, in the big picture, switching dinner from pizza (which is what my weakened mind had promised dh) to a full roast beef dinner (with roast potatoes, gravy, Yorkshire puddings, carrots and frozen corn) probably was the more healthy decision since it had more fibre, veggies and protein than pizza. And the bonus of extra dietary iron. It was delicious. I made the gravy with corn starch to reduce some of the white flour in the meal but still had 3 Yorkshire puddings. They are only 60 calories each so not too bad.
Unfortunately, because I was visiting with ds, I didn't get on the treadmill while dinner was cooking (my backup plan) and had no time in the evening (because I was working on the things I didn't do while visiting with ds) so I only had 4K steps.
My sleep has been getting worse and worse since returning. It really points to the waterbed as the problem, not dh. I don't know when he'll or if he'll agree to a regular bed but he keeps asking me why I'm so grumpy but doesn't accept "I'm exhausted" as an answer. There are days I start the day crying because I'm starting the day on 'empty' and wonder if I can face a whole day of feeling exhausted.
He dislikes me being in the other room and if he isn't the problem, then I'd prefer to continue to sleep with him. But I'm not getting good rest. If I'm spending 2 - 3 hours of listening to podcasts because I just can't sleep due to the bed jiggling so I can't relax, then I feel I have to leave the room.
The other difference while we were traveling was that each room we slept in had closed drapes (because of lights outside the windows in 2 places and the drapes simply didn't open at the beach apartment due to privacy issues.) I still sleep with my eye mask (it is habit now) but I feel a difference when the room outside the mask is darker. Some light gets through. Either that, or dh is sleeping more deeply.
He actually made a comment about screens being bad for sleeping as if I should give up my screen before bed. I have tried that and it makes a difference only occasionally. But to be fully effective, one has to stop the screen use hours before bed and in my case evenings are my most productive writing time. So that makes limiting screens counter productive to me. Again, I seem to need the dark or perhaps the quiet, in order to write.
Even on nights I avoid the screens for about 30 - 40 minutes before bed, he'll take so long to come to bed (reading all the news on his smart phone) that I often start in on Wordbrain because I don't want to just be drifting off to sleep when he wakes me up to kiss me goodnight or, even if he doesn't do that, the bed jostles me as he comes to bed. I lie there, waiting for it, instead of relaxing into sleep, just like I lie there waiting for the bed to move when his twitching (which he sleeps through) wakes me up in the night.
Today's another day. And another short night since I have to drive ds to the airport at 7 tomorrow morning.