Blessed...
I can relate to binge eating. When I was a child I had a thyroid problem and had to loose 15lbs when I nine. Later in childhood I would spend 25 cents for five candy bars and eat all
Of them from the time I left the store till I got home. However I was very active during that time so I didn't gain weight. I also became a closet eater for many years as an adult ... favorite place to eat was in the bathroom so no one could see me.
Years later I read an interesting book entitled... its no what you eat, but what eating you. This was when I realized I was an emotional eater and that explained much of my unhappy childhood and marriage.
After I divorced and was with an other very loving man I decided to break the chain. I made an apple pie, cut a slice and decided to eat it in front of him. Simple, yes???
No I had never eaten "forbidden food" in front of anyone for years. My loving friend knew what I was doing and when I cut the pie I broke out in a sweat. And when I carried my plate to the table my hand shook so hard the pie almost feelnoff the plate ... and when I brought the pie to my mouth I thought I would puke.
However I ate it and in front of some one. As time went on I learned to change my eating habits and formany years stayed at or around 120-123. I ate what I wanted but my portions were much smaller.
Meds may me bloom and I almost hit 160. That's when I learned I was sleep eating.. stress was behind it and it took three years to get it under control.
I do have a difficult time eating after dinner. Something that has never bothered me in the past. I have found a large mug of heral tea... I like constant comment decaf with stevia... really quells my sugar hunt as in I hunt around the house for sweet things to eat.
My guess is you're much like me... food, especially sweets and high carb stuff, and the want for it is tied to my emotions...it's the one thing that makes your brain happy until you fall a k on feeling guilty about what you' e done
Then you get down on yourself and prove once again you really are the Failur that all those people tell you you are.
It's a very vicious cycle and easy to repeat.
The trick lies not in the food you eat... you're smart enough to know how to eat... but the why of what you're doing.
The hardest part of loosing weight is not what goes in your mouth but rather what is going one between your ears. It IS the reason why all the winners of those weight loss shows gain back all their weight...they've been taught how to eat, but no one has address the cause for their weight, so they go back to their old eating habits because those thoughts between their ears have not been changed.
I am on Day 5. Made roasted cauliflower and merange cookies. I'll eat some of those with my hot tea tonight