Health and Fitness, October 2009

[Harmony]

Harriet, I have always envied people who feel better when they exercise. I have always felt worse! It never energizes me like people say it does for them. Oh, except for bike riding. That is easier, and seems to renew my spirit.

And it's cooler here now and so so pleasant to peddle around the neighborhood. Tonight when I was checking the car, I rode around our regular bike route to check the mileage, and we are riding 2.7 miles. Sometimes we go a bit farther, but we always do at least this.

(blessed) diets are a struggle, aren't they? I always have problems, never feeling content with less.

Nancy, you are a great example at how you keep at your diet and routines. I'm sure your Dr. must be pleased with you.

here comes a rant, sorry..
Right now I'm feeling like I've been beat up. About 3 days ago I fell asleep reading in the front room (unusual for me to be there) and I got up and stumbled off to bed. But first I tripped over a footstool and fell SPLAT on the hard tile floor. My arms took a hit and I am happy I did not hit my elbo. My left arm is so sore it hurts when I lay it on the mattress at night. It is all shades of green and purple.

Other parts of my elbos are still skinned open from falling off my bike last week. My thumb is still stiff and a lot of skin peeled off. My back is sore from helping DH tonight. rant over.

[blessedw2]

harriet great job on the exercise. hi harmony ((((ouch)))))
hi everyone.


things I have to face. sounds silly but I know it is part of my weight problem. I am afraid of getting smaller... I know sounds stupid. I don't like being unhealthy. I like who I am personally but am shocked at what I know see in the mirror at 240 lbs and no exercise what more can I say. But I use my weight as a safety device from comments of when people notice I lost weight. When I feel like weight is coming off of me I feel nervous. I know it is a family issue.. I can take my dmoms comments of I am heavy but not if I loose weight. I think it is because I am afraid to disappoint if I gain the weight back. That somehow I am a failure for doing that. I know Logically it doesn't make sense.
So trying to make myself exercise as I really enjoy it but I stop my self. will others expect more out of me.
silly I know. but it is what it is.

[Harmony]

Well, I'm adding a stiff neck to my rant list above.
Blessed, I'm not so sure your fear is so unusual. One reason it took me so long to commit to this weight loss is that I KNOW it is not a diet, it is a life-style change. I wasn't sure I could sustain whatever success I had.

So I am now on my way down again, s-l-o-w-l-y, and I have just convinced myself that along the way I will figure out how to sustain it comfortably.

Do you think a little therupy would help you and that in turn would help your DD? Does she pick up some worries from your worries?

[blessedw2]

Dd worries about her weight as she was heavy at one time and never wants to go there again. I do think my families acceptance of being thin is a huge issue for my family. My mom wasn't thrilled when she found out she was a touch heavier then my aunt as she as always been the tinier one. my mom was 95 lbs. all her life. I know my family's and my issues with acceptance of weight has a lot to do with dd20 problems. When I was young and dd20 was heavy at middleschool/beginning high school my mom would say to me she would never find love, or a job being heavy as it is life. I heard that all my life. Her reasoning was that to be thin you are happy and thin in my family is really important, success is really important, it is subtle but there. I am thinking of seeing a eating disorder doctor for my apprehension regarding body issues, especially regarding loosing weight and being comfortable with the feeling, I don't mention it to my kids. I have spoken to dd's therapist and given her my and my families issues and how I think they affected dd20. We always had bad/good foods in my family. One time I wasn't invited to see my moms friends unless I lost weight. The new one is that she will take my daughter to Europe if I loose the weight. My mom says it is because she was desperate to make me loose weight. I was on diet pills at 10 years old. Even now if I get in the car and my hair is not what she thinks she will tell me. So I have learned from my mistakes with dd20 to keep my mouth quiet about anything about how they look as it is not important. My mom said she was trying to motivate me, she really does have a good heart but says what is on her mind, to be thin because she always worried about my health. I wore a jacket recently that I just bought and my mom said it was the wrong color, I needed not beige but dark colors for fall. I now can just say Oh a mom moment, not like when I was young when it affected me. I work really hard to respect both girls by not to saying things about looks, weight etc. Thank you harmony I was thinking the same thing. I found a therapist regarding this.

[Harriet]

blessed, here is a piece of advice I think sounds like you.

Forget about losing weight.

Strive to gain strength.

Define strength as muscle ability or stamina - either one, or both.

For instance, rather than setting a goal to lose certain pounds, set a goal to develop excellent posture (which is actually spinal strength). Rather than setting a goal to get into certain pieces of clothing, set a goal to walk farther with each week.

When we exchange fat for muscle, we don't always have a change on the scale anyway. You could still honestly tell anyone who wondered if you lost weight that you didn't! (smile) That might be a fun response, and let you avoid conversations you don't like! Over on the T-Tapp boards, you always hear of someone throwing their scale away because it doesn't really accurately measure their fitness, and they don't particularly care what it says. There is a lady over there who has lost 6 sizes, but only 19 pounds - she has a lot of fun telling people she's lost "a little".

I am very sorry to hear that your dmother is still suffering from such a pattern of manipulation. You are completely worthy of nice things, and perfectly capable of providing yourself nice things, whether she is holding her carrots out to you or not.

[blessedw2]

you have a wonderfully beautiful heart and soul dharriet! I am taking your advice and start moving. I love the outdoors and miss walking the woods.

[blessedw2]

today I did okay. it's raining all day. sat in the car most of the day.. waiting for dd14 at her classes. But I had dinner made ahead of time.
next goal besides moving more, is stretching in the morning and water.

[lucylee]

(((Blessed)))
Ditto ALL of what Harriet said!!!
You are such a beautiful, wonderful, kind, sensitive person. It just makes me MAD that ANYONE would make you feel so much pressure about your appearance, for whatever reason -- weight, hair, clothes -- Grrrrr....

Please do take care of yourself, but only FOR yourself. Harriet's goals are excellent.

That is what I am trying to tell myself right now. I might not be able to control the scales, or how my clothes fit/feel... but I CAN control how many minutes I MOVE every day. I'm starting small, and trying to do just 15 minutes a day. If I keep it up a week, maybe I'll add minutes next week.

And I think your fears are all perfectly logical & understandable... I can relate to the idea of not wanting to disappoint anyone... not wanting people to expect more... heck, I don't want people to expect ANYTHING from me, you know. So yeah, what you're saying makes perfect sense -- but it's not fair to YOURSELF to let those kind of fears hold you back from what you know is a way to be good to yourself. Do it just for YOU.

We love you, blessed. (((BIG HUGS)))

[Nancy]

Thanks Harmony! I needed that.
I had to call the dr's office this week for refill on meds. ok.
I skipped Sept. apt. I was fine and the H1N1 had me leary about going in
I have an apt. 6 mo. visit mid. Nov.

Had to retire some too tight pants two of my fav. pairs sigh
I hate this I've been watching it pretty close
exercising and still picking up weight.

Did get in two long walks this week am back up to
being able to do an hour exercise now.
With the time change coming and cooler temps.
I've been trying to remember what I used to do in the winter before for
exercise. My blood sugar reading was good today so at least that's good news!

Hubby is fighting the crud.

[blessedw2]

thank you hugs Lucy!

hi nancy.

moving a bit at a time.