Aug. Cards 2014

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Nancy
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Re: Aug. Cards 2014

Postby Nancy » Thu Aug 21, 2014 3:51 pm

After this mornings baking adventures it took me 15 min. To find the sink while I was boiling eggs to devil later on.

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Re: Aug. Cards 2014

Postby blessedw2 » Wed Aug 27, 2014 1:09 pm

sorry I haven't been here. We moved dd younger to school and my goodness she got the roommate that is an oh my goodness type of roommate. Aggressive and negatively verbal.and has gone through dd's things, so dd younger got a lock for her things. The RA apologized for the roommate dd has. dd younger is meeting some people and is getting involved. She has also figured out the best place to study is with the grad students as they actually study. She also was shocked by all the drunk people by 5 in the pm. She is planning to transfer to her sisters school instead after this semester if she can. Shocking is all I can say. She can move in 1 week. I am really proud of how dd younger has handled herself in an extremely difficult situation.

dd older had another surgery, my d mom fell in front of my house and broke her arm, and so much more. I have to admit... I am just giving this one up to God and letting him take the reigns so I have done that and good things along with the rough are happening. Being grateful!
it is always a joy to be here with you!

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Harriet
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Re: Aug. Cards 2014

Postby Harriet » Thu Aug 28, 2014 2:05 pm

((blessed)), so many trials at once! I hope these all work out and you can look back on this difficult time soon.

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Re: Aug. Cards 2014

Postby blessedw2 » Thu Aug 28, 2014 3:08 pm

Thank you dearest Harriet!

I think that sometimes you just have to give in (I know religious - sorry ... but I gave it up to God because I couldn't handle it all) when stuff happens. This morning a woman told me her problems and then an extended family member also called because they had been dealing with life struggles. I came home and again became grateful and drained but determined to see this as a temporary time. I have to admit I almost didn't handle it well but letting it go has really helped me. I think it has been my time to be there for others who were at their most vulnerable...and I can't do anything to help but be there; that's the hardest because I can't make things better for those I love. I also learned a long time ago that even though I used to think that most people want to come to an understanding and want to be fair - that is not always the case.

- some pluses my mom is feeling a bit better emotionally
-dd younger stood her ground but the girl and her family is entitled to have her boyfriend sleep over at the dorm and thinks dd younger is mean for not allowing it.
-my dd older is feeling better

Glad I have my faith! but boy is my faith being pushed - I will see the benefit or the lesson one day
now for work:
I worked in the dining room and ran to the store and the butcher

5:20 pm
dailies haven't been done so that is my goal.
Last edited by blessedw2 on Thu Aug 28, 2014 6:21 pm, edited 1 time in total.
it is always a joy to be here with you!

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Harriet
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Re: Aug. Cards 2014

Postby Harriet » Thu Aug 28, 2014 6:19 pm

Eeeeeewwwwwww!!!

... ... entitled to have her boyfriend sleep over at the dorm


Then no doubt your dd and her family are entitled to immediately ask for different living space and be accommodated.
I've never heard of such a thing. Well, I've never heard of such a thing when anyone was actually in charge.

How old is roommate? How old the boyfriend? There could be legal issues there with a lot of trouble to come.

Your dd is being a normal teen, and had no reason to think any problem like this would come up. Family of roommate is being unreasonable, haphazard, and they are abandoning their responsibilities. From my point of view, get her out of there, yes. But complain, complain, complain. Surely there is someone up the ladder who has a brain.

Did this girl get there first somehow, with "dibs", or are they 50-50 on this? What gives her family the right to make determinations and not your family?

Auuuuggghhh. Just makes me mad. You don't have to answer my questions. I'm better now. Sorry.

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Re: Aug. Cards 2014

Postby blessedw2 » Fri Aug 29, 2014 11:45 am

Actually was surprised by the lack of the top of the housing department to see this was an emergency issue. They did the same routine all the way through.. "we want our students to see the diversity of others", "it takes time to work things out" " she may be uncomfortable" (they say our claims are just our claims) but they found out last week that the girl and her family are adamant about this issue and feel that dd is being unfair.

They could put dd younger in a siberia version of the housing system and dd younger wants to stay near the other freshmen and doesn't feel she should be put through this because she doesn't want the boyfriend to stay there. The school rules state that if both room mates agree any person can stay in the dorm room for up to 4 days; boy or girl. Dd doesn't agree and the girl and her family have thrown a fit. I can't understand why this didn't get attention. They say that because she didn't want to move to the outskirts of town that they can't do anything for her and it's 1-1/2 miles away from all her classes and no freshmen. I think saying no right away to the girl by the school and give the girl an option to get a single room but since dd put the complaint in the girl can stay. I can't begin to say the other stuff that Has gone on. I think they feel dd will give in. The ra on the floor tried but didn't make headway with the girl so no room mate agreement was signed. What frustrates me is that the head of the dorm gave her a speech on how she wants to feel safe but then sent an email to her 3 days later saying since she would not move to the outskirts than she is basically out of luck until next week and she can reapply but that doesn't mean she won't be put far away. I am keeping my fingers crossed. She has had to learn that she is a number and that no one really cares for her safety. She has learned that things are not always fair. This is one thing we see as dangerous.

Thank you d Harriet.

but I must be getting older when the schools think this is okay for dorm rooms.It's an all girls floor.

pluses: d mom is feeling emotionally so so much better
dd older is feeling much better physically

time for work.
walked at ymca

dd younger called and said it is mostly like she will be the one having to move because she won't agree to allowing the boyfriend of the other girl to stay there... I am thinking it is time to have an attorney write a letter to the school (which I have never done - we are not those type of people but this is different). The Girl has been going through dd's stuff again as when dd leaves the room and her drawers are closed and comes back to find things moved and yesterday her drawer by her desk was half open when she came back into the room.
it is always a joy to be here with you!

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Nancy
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Re: Aug. Cards 2014

Postby Nancy » Fri Aug 29, 2014 3:16 pm

OMM Card - As Sept. Draws closer my thought wonder to what I need for fall. Plums and peaches ned to be delt with. I put in a request for h. To come sit in the dining room and chat with me while catch up.
I also told the neighbor kid if he came over after school I had an hr. of work he could earn $5. So he can help me get the biggest tree branch into the trailer and tarp it and get it ready. Dgson could have done it but he is not as tall and is camping.

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Harriet
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Re: Aug. Cards 2014

Postby Harriet » Fri Aug 29, 2014 4:30 pm

It seems to me it could be considered a "for religious reasons" issue, blessed, which would certainly place the entire issue in a new light for lawyer, school, RA and the other family. In fact, some school leaders wouldn't even start breathing for a while after hearing those words, because they are quite powerful legally. This other young lady needs to learn diversity. As in, when it's against someone's beliefs to bring in an unmarried man, it's just against their beliefs, and that's the way it is. Therefore, if you want to bring in an unmarried man to a living situation, you accept that you may face objections, and you can't just say "that's mean" and then get your way.

Your dd wants the status quo: a women's dorm room the same as countless other women have had at universities all over the country. The other family wants to make a CHANGE to co-habitation. If because of religious reasons your family says "no" to a CHANGE, that's called learning about diversity.

I don't know about a lawyer - that may be an excellent idea. But I do think this is a family matter, not just the student. Most college freshmen are still of an age that their parents are responsible in the eyes of the law. They have no money, so the parents are paying for housing. It's the parents' business. It seems to me that you and dh could FORBID signing to allow the young man, and take the burden of responsibility off dd's shoulders, but I don't know.

Again, sorry to butt in. I just think it's so unfair.

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Nancy
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Re: Aug. Cards 2014

Postby Nancy » Fri Aug 29, 2014 7:02 pm

H. Is home the kid was a no show but I have 90 -99 % of the stuff done so no big deal. Glad I had mojo. To get it done. Neighbors are having. BDay party in a couple of weeks so am using that as a dead line to get the back yard in shape and winterized. In hind sight the only thing we would have changed for the outdoor kit. Is to put wheels under it. I still need to do some clean up on our patio but have picked up some stuff around here so I did make a bit of progress.

H. Has left overs for work so dinner plans are a changing. Drat!

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Re: Aug. Cards 2014

Postby blessedw2 » Fri Aug 29, 2014 7:03 pm

thank you d harriet <3
it is always a joy to be here with you!


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