Clear Your Clutter - Part 2
Getting Started
Given what I've come to learn about clutter, I didn't want Nicole to immediately jump in and start clearing up the mess. The initial phase of our plan involved getting her to shift her perspective -- to see her clutter as an ally, a messenger with valuable information. So first I had her answer this question in writing: If my environment were a reflection of what's going on in my life and in my head, what would it be saying? Part of her answer was very straightforward -- "My home is a reflection of a busy, chaotic life." True enough. She works full-time at a stressful job, she's developing a part-time consulting business, she's the president of a local professional organization, and she has four pets. But as to how her environment reflected what was going on in her head, Nicole had a deeper insight: "I think I've been adding things to my life in an effort to fill the emptiness I feel at not expressing my full creative potential." Progress already!
Next Nicole took a hard look at some of those things she'd added by rating items in a contained area using these questions: Do I love it? and Do I need it? This helped her start to get a more objective view of what was taking up space.
Now Nicole was ready to look at what she did want in her life by answering the question, If eliminating things from my life would make the space for something more important, what would I want? "This part is easy," she said. "I want a more fulfilling job, greater financial security, and two new clients for my practice."
Once Nicole had begun to get an objective, clear-eyed view of her clutter, we were ready for phase two -- no, not clearing out, but planning. Specifically, making a plan to prevent future clutter and a plan for moving out existing clutter. It's pretty simple: First, determine where clutter is coming from and shut off the flow.
For Nicole, a lot of space was taken over by gift items from family and friends she felt guilty letting go of. To avoid future unwanted gifts, I suggested she ask for gifts of pleasure like theater tickets or a massage, or ask that donations be made in her name to her favorite charities.
Next, she needed to find a home for categories of items she knew she'd be clearing out but that were too valuable to pitch in the garbage. Her solution? She lined up her local library for books, a consignment shop for clothes, and a women's shelter for houseware items and toiletries.
Now we were ready to roll on actually clearing space. Ahh, phase three! Most people find that the energy generated during this part propels them forward, but to avoid feeling overwhelmed at the outset, Nicole worked in one contained area at a time for 30 minutes a day -- more if she wanted, but no less -- to sort through the clutter.
Armed with trash bags, boxes, and the mantra "When in doubt, throw it out," she went at it, weeding through her stuff with the intention of getting rid of anything she didn't absolutely love or need. One 30-minute session snowballed into two, and suddenly Nicole was in the zone, feeling charged up and motivated to get the job done. As her physical space cleared, she began to experience one of the biggest perks of clutter clearing: a feeling of greater emotional and mental space -- a sense of greater ease, of having more time and less stress.
We assessed Nicole's progress at the end of our four weeks: In our humble opinion, pretty amazing. Her cozy farmhouse now had a spacious living room, an organized office, and a bedroom that felt like a relaxing oasis. But the changes went much deeper. She felt better about herself -- she had more energy, felt more "together," and just felt more enthusiastic about life in general -- which led her to put out feelers and make some calls and, voila!, a potential new job appeared that would use more of her creative talents and pay her more.
And then there was that full-fledged revelation. During one of our last conversations, she said, "The other night I was sitting in bed looking around at the room, and I had this utterly unexpected thought pop into my head: I now have more space for passion, sex, and intimacy.' It caught me totally off guard. I honestly didn't realize it before, but I might be ready for love."
See what happens when we make the space for something great?