I still think you are way to hard on your lovely self Lucy!
I know when I was going to school full time and running around doing for myself and others the house weeklies and dailies would get away from me and when life is hectic - it still does.
my dailies are no longer on 3 x 5's but are on 1" round key disks (you know those paper ones with metal rim).
similar to use for ADD and autistic children in kindergarten, (who use a folder with one vertical strip of velcro and slip of laminated instruction for what needs to be done, one strip next to it that is done (on the autistic children's folder there is usually a vertical line of velcro that says could be better but I find that too negative for my purposes and my personality as I now forgive myself when it could be better and actually praise myself, yes lol I do, for getting most of it done even if not perfect). I move my disk to the right when done (including meds). I do something nice for myself. when I first started the 3 x 5 cards many years ago I had to have a card that said "be nice to yourself". (I found if someone asks if they could do something for me it's easy because they can head to that cabinet and choose a job)
Most times I can't get all of my dailies done -
it's always the trend that counts. If I don't do a load of wash one day I make sure I do it the next.
I also think clutter and moving things around make cleaning too difficult. the less clutter the less to clean or feel buried. (you know what I did one time: I took boxes and pulled most of the knick knacks and pillows etc. out of my family room - not to toss but to see what the room would look like. I kept my stoneware on my fireplace (but less), current reading (one book each person), and a couple things only). I didn't toss anything as I wasn't ready for it. I put it away.. what freedom - I ended up putting one thing in and taking another thing out.. and it became simple to clean). less is more. actually I still do this when I feel like I am collecting too much stuff in a room and I ended up donating most of the stuff as I didn't have to make that immediate decision but could see I was better without them)
My weeklies are also on the tag on the other side of the cabinet where I grab one and move it over. when all of them are moved over to the right, I move them back to the left and start all over again... it might be 2 weeks or a little more sometimes.
(this works when my schedule is so full that I can't manage). Plus I ask for help...
I also think dh's gift to me once in a while of the house keepers really helps me a lot!!! he surprised me before Christmas to clean floors and a dusted house. (Can you afford once a month)
Regarding this Focus are: I can't possibly to do the whole list. I use it as a touch point, for grabbing the dust webs out, cleaning underneath something and dejunking especially when I am busy.. Dejunking is totally another ball game as it requires lots of mental and physical energy. Deciding, touching is draining but worth it.
It takes way to much energy having all the stuff and if drains you than it's not doing anything good for your and your spirit.
I also found sometimes I have to put the focus on hold as I will work in one area really hard (such as dh and I plan on working in dgirls bathroom this week - everything else gets put on hold except for dailies which are dishes, duds, and dinner. (and dinner is nothing fancy and when we are working like this we use paper plates.
You do so much in one day for others it's okay to be kind to yourself.
Cut yourself a little slack - you work all day, plan school, grade papers, have time with your dh and your son and his family and are involved in sports - (if you gave your dkids at school all the books to Shakespeare's comedies and said "get this done this week or even this month" - your kids would groan - it's expecting more than is possible.. it's the same thing with the house.. it's the little bits that get it done)
I love harriets working 2x2 spaces as that really worked for me.. I go left to right and you will think I am weird but when (which always happens) I loose focus and see a new area to work on I tell myself to get back there. I use a timer so I don't get carried away as my kids say I am like a puppy with a butterfly at times.
BE GOOD TO YOURSELF DEAR LUCY!!! YOU ARE THE BEST - REMEMBER!