This is going to sound really stuck up but I suspect you guys will forgive me.
Dh didn't have a logistically successful trip, which he blames partly on me not being with him. He really missed me and didn't sleep well and worried about being on his own. He's been asked to Barcelona for October and wants me to come with me. Barcelona is both wonderful (it is beautiful in parts) and icky (lots of petty crime and little English compared to Northern Europe) and it is a quick trip but to be honest, I don't want to go and have said so on many occasions. It is a very short trip because dgs' first birthday is on one side of it and preaching out of town is on the other side. So all that expense for something I don't want to do. If I could combine it with a trip to Copenhagen or London, that would be different. But we can't take the time.
So, he asked again last night since up until now it was hypothetical (if he did a good job at the conference this week, they'd pay for him to come to the conference in Europe and he did and they offered.)
Here's where health comes in:
I said I would go with him if I lose 30 pounds between now and then. That's about a 1.5 pound a week loss, aggressive but not unhealthy or impossible. And since we'll have to book my tickets in the summer, I said I will do so if I'm 160 on July 31 (that's 18 pounds down from where I am today, again 1.5 pounds/week.)
He doesn't understand the connection between weight loss and me going on the trip.
The connection is that I'm doing something for him but he has to do something for me. He's gone from making french fries for dinner once every 10 days or so to 2x a week. He wants to eat out all the time or has things here that I shouldn't have.
If I'm going to lose that weight he's going to have to compromise on where we eat when we eat out (basically only Swiss Chalet or Subway, and maybe the pub, but that's hard for me since I like the tortillas) and he's going to have to stop making french fries all the time (he's even started to make onion rings.)
He's also going to have to take me on walks to keep my step count up (but not to the bagel shop too often because it's a bagel shop.)
If he supports me on this, then I'll support him and go on the trip. But if he can't stop putting me in the way of temptation, then he'll have to travel on his own.
That's all I'm asking, that he stop eating things I have difficulty resisting.
He's been complaining about his weight lately and I think this might help him too.
Anyway, we'll see what difference it makes. He never complains about how big I am or how much of a slug I am or what I eat but, alternatively, many of the foods he loves literally make me sick and I regret having them (he cooks most of our meals) and his fitness routine gets in the way of my fitness routine.
He likes to wake up early but lie in bed for over an hour with me so I lose that hour of sleep, although sometimes I doze in and out. But he's disappointed if I get up and get going for the day. Around 7, he gets up and insists doing his email first each morning (30 - 60min) and then getting on the exercise bike for 60 minutes, then doing 30 minutes of floor exercises and then getting showered and dressed. So he comes to breakfast by about 10.
Up until then, he cannot answer the door (he hates wearing clothes) so I have to stay here to run interference. He also can't answer the phone and so I have to be available. And if I'm not quick enough to get showered and am expecting a call, I can't shower myself until he's done his routine because he indisposed and can't cover the phone for me. I just feel like I'm waiting for him to finish his routine before I can do anything like go for a walk.
It is now 10:30 and he just got another email so he's gone back to his computer but still has his floor exercises to do. So if he's suggested doing something outside the apartment with me, I have to wait until noon. And by then, I'm hungry for my lunch (he skips lunch all the time.)
Sorry for the whine. I'm congested and have a headache and feel put upon and unsuccessful and exhausted and dh just wants me to go back to traveling with him. And yet, he's not earning money any more so not only is this something I don't want to do (partly because it is impossible to eat healthily while traveling) it is something there is no travel budget for. He gets all sorts of accolades (he's just been nominated for another award) but none of this pays money, it is all high-level volunteering, where his work is turned into products that make money for other companies.