For those who are interested, I'm still alive. Harriet asked that I post.
I wouldn't want to meet any doctor on the operating table after what I've had in the last 24 hours!
I'm taking today off (so am not yet dressed, nor have done anything aside from unload the dishwasher and my SAD light.)
I've had a very intense 4 days with a house guest. He and dh had to work on writing a standard. He's at Michigan State U and all funding for travel was cut off so due to the Larry Nassar sex abuse scandal, so he came here using airline points and we put him up and fed him so the standards work could get done. People often don't realize that ISO standards are written by volunteers who often pay for their own travel to meet and work since there is no government funding (we even pay to belong to our government standards bodies.)
Dgs had to stay with us on Saturday night so it was a full house. He took 1/3 less time to settle to sleep than last time but was up at 4:10 after only 7 hours of sleep. Both dh and I went to bed when he did so I had 7 hours sleep and another 3 hours in bed yesterday afternoon (slept for about 1 hour of that.) I'm very sore today from lifting and carrying him and doing lots of squats to get to his level. He is a joy to have and I miss him when he's not here but I'm seriously exhausted.
I'm seriously behind on everything and getting depressed because of it but not able to work since my life is far too busy with others distracting me. I won't get a full day of doing nothing today, but I desperately need a full week of no disruptions.
The next few weeks will be tough because dd resolutely refuses to buy a car and yet needs one to get to the now necessary medical appointments (she left her last midwife appointment with 7 more appointments to make.) For 3 of the last 5 times she's used our transit station the elevator has been out. She can no longer lift dgs or the stroller so getting him and the stroller up 25 stairs leaves her at the mercy of others.
So when I play 'tough love' and only offer to babysit here, I feel like I'm being exceptionally cruel. Yet at the same time, every trip I make to her place adds one hour of commute time for me, not to mention that she then expects to use my car or, if I refuse, my time babysitting is lengthened by at least an hour.
I have no mental strength for this battle so end up capitulating but my resentment that my days now have to revolve around her is increasing. Their refusal is not financial, it is the time it will take (I asked them 5 months ago to start shopping so they'd have a car by now) and the 'environment', conveniently ignoring that my car's mileage is currently 30% driving her around.
I'm learning more and more about the emotional changes concussions bring on and now might understand why people who have been concussed abuse alcohol or drugs (does being drunk when concussed feel the same as being drunk when healthy?, if not, then they get to feel 'normal' for a while. I miss feeling normal.)
I'm also far less patient with people and far more hurt by slights. I've unfriended a cousin on FB since she posted a stupid meme that, in effect, calls those who read it through dumbasses. When I complained that was rude, she said "Tee Hee". No, not tee-hee, I'm devastated my cousin thinks calling me a dumbass is funny and feel very insecure when family, who should be supportive, choose to mock me and the way I feel.
This intense emotional reaction is part of the reason it is less stressful to stay away from the SHE boards. Being here links the news out of the US to real people and I see the effects of it. Twins, in particular was in my thoughts.
From the outside, this podcast shows how it looks to the rest of the world.
America is Collapsing: What happens to Canada when it does?I assume each of you have voted already or plan to. But like our visitor, I also assume that each of you assumes someone else will help others vote. When I suggested he take time to go over how to vote on campus with his students, he said there were people to help with that. Given young people reportedly couldn't do advance mail-in ballots because they didn't want to take the time to learn how to buy a stamp, I'm not holding out much hope. (source:https://www.businessinsider.com/young-voters-dont-know-where-to-buy-stamps-for-absentee-ballots-2018-9) He felt it was not worthwhile anyway since he 'knew' his state was not his party so his vote really didn't count for anything.
It is too late for you to help young people buy stamps but it would be worthwhile if each of you made sure 10 people got to the polls with the correct ID and were able to vote regardless of what the voters' list says. Learn the rules for provisional ballots for your state so if the people you take are told they are not allowed to vote, you can use the correct words to make sure they are not disenfranchised. I don't care what party they are, I just want people voting. I want you to understand that people in other countries line up for hours, risking beatings and shootings in order to vote. They help each other rather than assume someone else will do it.
Life if very black now for me - I feel like dd is abusing me, I feel the US citizens are abusing each other and the gift they were given, and I feel like the whole world is imploding and there is no safe place to be.
That's why I'm not here at the moment.