Well, Elizabeth, I called the maid.
My own dstepdil is "the maid", but I did call. She gave me several hours of time today and really helped. I kept up with her some of the time, getting rooms ready for pure surface cleaning ahead of her. But she is tough to keep up with and eventually I sat myself down! We laughed about the fact that she no longer has every possible cleaning supply in her trunk, and actually decided she needed one item enough to go home for it. (Swiffer long-reach wand that telescopes and folds. She made such quick work of dusting the ceiling fan with that.)
This evening is her induction into honor society - she was waffling about going. She says it seems as though everyone's younger than she is, and going to it to please parents, plus she sees no reason to formalize it with a ceremony. I'm very happy for her, though. She has decided on becoming a paralegal.
Kathryn, I agree completely with you that as we try to do the right things for our well-being, others must recognize our efforts, support the limits we set, and avoid new expectations.