Getting to know us ~ Getting to know you!

[Bama]

Rose, what years were you in Mobile? I went to a small Christian school, Crichton Academy, just down the road from USM Wright, then Baker High School, and lived on Cottage Hill near Azalea Rd in Jamestown before moving to a neighborhood across from Providence hospital.

Lucylee, I promise you won’t feel embarrassed running into me in my sweats and tshirt and I would never want you to feel uncomfortable, mum’s the word. What happens in she world stays in she world.

[lucylee]

Well, Bama— I’ve certainly been an open book here in he she world — so — are you north of Birmingham? I am really paranoid because my SHE sisters probably know me better than my IRL friends. So if we are IRL friends, I need to censor myself a little more. Send me a PM if you don’t want to put any more specific info out here.

[Bama]

I totally understand. It’s easy to be open among shes. I say more on the boards than irl. I’m at the bottom of the state in Baldwin County.

[lucylee]

Great! LOL!!! We are not likely to run into each other at Walmart! I’m at the other end, closer to the TN line.
Kinda jealous of you being closer to the beach though!
It IS easy to “talk” from behind the screen, though. I value the objective point of view I get from people who don’t know dmom or late dh, who don’t have preconceived notions about the situations.
Of course, I’ve been here so long, these folks do probably have a pretty clear preconceived idea about me by now. LOL.

BTW — I certainly understand the empty nest syndrome! DS is an only child and the night he packed up his last load to go to Auburn, I cried like the world was coming to an end! AND I KNEW HE WOULD BE HOME THE NEXT WEEKEND!!!
And of course, I am approaching the one year mark since dh passed away, so the nest is empty in a much different way now. Fortunately, ds and family are about a mile away, and my dmom is about 10 miles from me.

[Ramblinrose]

Bama… I was in Mobile from 1987 till 2001, and we were circling each other. I lived close to you near Cottage Hill and had friends in the same neighborhood across from the hospital. I lived right off of Old Shell and Cody Rd. Prior to living in Mobile I lived in Orange Beach and later moved to Atmore. I moved from there when I got divorced and moved to Mobile. Small world

[Bama]

Lucylee, im so sorry for the loss of your husband. That hits hard. My dh has a lot of medical issues so I worry about him. We just lost all of our senior generation so now I’m the old one, not sure I like it. Still trying to mentally adjust to that. I’d much rather be in the mountains than near the beach so we should houseswap lol. I cry when my two visit, when they leave, they just roll their eyes and carry on. I’m glad they’re used to my emotions and are doing their thing, I’m super proud of them and wouldn’t want them to feel obligated to stay with me forever although in my heart I wouldn’t mind it either haha.

Ramblinrose, I can remember when Palmer pillans was being built, yikes I’m old. My husband is from Uriah so we travel through Atmore a LOT these days to visit his sister, it’s growing fast since the casino was built there.

[lucylee]

Thanks, Bama. I appreciate those thoughts. I cannot believe it has been almost a year now since dh passed. (April 12 will be the anniversary of his death.) It was not entirely unexpected, but as I've told everyone, you kinda know this day is coming; you just don't ever think TODAY will be THE day.
We had been friends since I was 15, and married when I was 18, so at GriefShare, when someone asked what I liked to do before I met dh, saying, "you haven't been married your whole life..." I thought, well, yeah, I kinda have been. But I can't even express how much help it is to have ds and dgrands so close by. That is probably what has helped me stay sane this past year. Everyone says I'm doing "so well," and I guess in a lot of ways, I am, but I do have my moments when I have to just have a good cry.

[Gma]

lucylee, my heart goes out to you as you anticipate the 1 year anniversary of your dh death, April 12. My dh died April 15, (2010) 15 years ago now, after 40 years of marriage. Who were you before your dh? What a silly question: you were a child, compared to who you are now! You obviously grew up together, and grew into the "two who have become one." Going back over 50 years ago, I remember waking up the morning after our marriage, thinking, I thought I was complete as a person, but now I am so more complete, how could I have been whole before? And after he died, I spent time pondering who I am alone. I am not sure I have a good answer for that for myself, even now, but I want to be the kind of person he would be proud of, do the things that . Widows with whom I have spoken have said that anticipating the anniversary is harder than the actual day itself. But do make some plan to acknowledge the day in some way: coffee, tea with some friend or friends, visit his grave, look through photo album of your wedding if you have one, or other pictures. Spend some time with your kids/grands. it doesn't have to be big event, but honor memories in some way.

<3 <3<3

[lucylee]

I will do something to honor the day, Gma. Thank you.
What you said about being the kind of person he would be proud of -- this morning I was thinking about that, that I just don't like this new life I've been given, you know? I was just thinking about that, and it came to me that I think if he could talk to me now, he would be telling me that he knew I'd be okay and that I was handling everything really well. But I don't really want to be handling everything really well alone... I want to be handling it the best we could with him here!
OTOH, I wouldn't want him to be in such pain anymore, and it was really getting to him -- severe arthritis and recurring gout, recommendation to have kidney surgery, check-ups with heart doctor every six months -- he spent 75% of his time lying in bed or on the couch, and just walking from the car to the ballfields was really hard on him, but he hated to miss anything the dgrands did.
DS said, "I could tell Daddy was really getting older, a lot faster, in the last year or so."

* We didn't really "grow up together" because he was 10 years older than me. So logically, I knew I'd probably outlive him. But when you're 18 and you say "for sickness and health" you can't really imagine what all that involves and you don't think about being alone. But yes, I went straight from Mama and Daddy's house to our house and I've never been alone before. Dgrands do their best to make sure I'm never alone now, LOL.

[Paigealle]

Hello all. I joined today. I'm so glad to have found this site as I need the support. I'm glad to see some familiar names. I'll have to return to this thread and re-read. I logged on to SheForums and luckily found directions to come here.

I'm from Alberta. I'm 70! soon. I still work as a substitute teacher, though I keep trying to reduce the amount.

I still after all this time struggle to keep my house tidy and uncluttered. I think it's fairly clean-ish