Foibles. Who Me? Nah! Well I'm the person who hates to try anything new. I don't hate new things, I just doubt my ability to figure out and do things successfully. Electronics is a particular worry, it's always changing. To put on my counseling hat and think about it, probably from wanting to do things when I was growing up and being told by people, "oh, you can't do that!"
I'm not particularly introverted but I just don't need a lot of social stuff to be happy. Once I'm out doing something amongst people I'm happy but a little of that is enough then I'm glad to be home again. I don't feel especially shy meeting people. Agoraphobia is an awful thing to experience. In a particularly difficult spell in my life I had that. We lived in a small town where everybody knew everybody, I would go to the town supermarket and watch out for people. I would dart down another aisle if I saw somebody else.
Life is particularly challenging right now and I'm struggling to be confident that I can manage it all successfully. I feel like I am in the midst of a lot of important changes now and the unknown is scary.
Last night while trying to relax and go to sleep... I analyzed that Dr. appointment that was so difficult yesterday. When that Dr. came in the room he asked DH how he was doing. Instead of bringing up anything we needed to discuss, he said, "well, I'm here." And the Dr. said," I know you're here but how ARE you doing?" DH did not articulate anything he needed attention with. So I shouldn't blame the Dr. for NOT helping us when it started out like that. That's typical of how DH answers people when they ask how are you. "Above ground and praising God!" is cute and funny but not accurate or enlightening. I was the one who mentioned his knee problem and our plan to get it fixed. I never got a chance to tell him we're a little overwhelmed with all the appointments and everything happening and that it would be easier if we could come every 6 months instead of every 3 months, wouldn't that be alright at least for now? Maybe we cause our own problems with this Dr. It doesn't help that DH never has figured out why he needs to see this GP anyway when there's nothing needing immediate attention. sigh...
My study today was nice. This afternoon I found a message on my phone from this past Wednesday from our Teacher asking me to call back which I never did.
I must call her and apologize. Yeah, that's another foible. I have phone anxiety. Comes from years ago having angry people calling all the time on the phone and never knowing when the person in my life was going to get into some sort of trouble and I'd have to deal with problems on the phone. It got so I couldn't answer the phone when it rang. That was over 40 years ago, you'd think I'd be over it by now. Another store to try on shoes. Am I ever going to find a nice pair of shoes that fit and I feel good in? I have my doubts.
Ok, really tired tonight. Time for bed.
