Well-Spent Wednesday PWYC

[lucylee]

It’s been a rough night. I just feel so bad about the football stuff. Ds has TRIED so hard to tell me I am not disappointing dh, that he is not sitting up in Heaven thinking how awful it is that we aren’t going to every ballgame.
Ddil pointed out that I spent the first 18 years of my life worrying about what my daddy thought and the next 44 trying to do whatever dh wanted and now it is my turn to be me… and I’m not letting either of them down by doing my own thing.
I think ds is trying to make sure I don’t have to go to ANY games! But I’d kinda like to go at least occasionally. I didn’t just HATE it, I just got tired of so MUCH of it.
I guess part of it is that I don’t want dbil and his fiancé to think badly of, to wonder why I can’t do such a simple thing — like I said, dniece did this drive alone for 4 years— as did ds and dnephew! Why can’t I?

The thing is, ds and dgs are going to be on the sidelines at high school games on Friday nights (keeping stats) and aside from the California game, which ds is going to, dgs REALLY wants see us play Oklahoma. (LadyM) we have an “away” game that Friday night and ds is out of town on Saturday, so he can’t take dgs to AU.
If I go, the choices are —
(1) leave from high school game at 9:00 pm, travel very unknown roads to Birmingham, and arrive in College Town around 12:30/1:00 am… or
(2) get up early Sat and go to ballgame, then spend thd night at condo with dbil/his fiancé.
Sigh.
Of course, IF it’s a night game, Sat might be okay. I did it for Vanderbilt. That was maybe 30 minutes closer, but a comparable drive.

I just can’t shake this feeling that dh would want me to go, and I just dont know.
I remember what you said, Harriet, that I’m placing on myself expectations he might have had 5/10 years ago, but not being realistic…

Maybe if I could handle this better if I could and my nose wasn’t running like a water hose.