Stromboli Saturday

[L.Ann]

I made two loaves of bread today helian. I slice and freeze it for breakfast in the morning. The twins are 7 in early October, kittykatt. They are in first grade. Hi Peaches!

1-clean kitchen
2-short walk to finish steps
3-diet site


Menus
Sunday-chicken/black bean and rice bowls
Monday-ground turkey tacos
Tuesday-red lentil soup
Wednesday-DD32 out/leftovers for me
Thursday-DD32 out/leftovers for me
Friday-out after Hopkins

Events
Sunday-walk w/friend@9, Downton Abbey @1, DD32 to Toy Story with DD 38
Monday--Little Bit 7:40-5, Little Bit school 9:15-11:45, urn pick up
Tuesday--Little Bit 7:40-5, Little Bit school 9:15-11:45, 10 dentist me crown
Wednesday--Little Bit 7:40-5, Little Bit school 9:15-11:45, DD32 PS 3-8, lunch w/friends at 12:15
Thursday--Little Bit 7:40-5, Little Bit school 9:15-11:45, DD32 32 PS 3-8, fall book preview@8
Friday- Hopkins

Weekly House Blessing-mop kitchen, dining room, vacuum
Extra Stuff- work on last Shutterfly book, fix dress for DD32’s dance, make wrapping paper with Little Bit
Little Errands-drop off DM’s driver’s license, send email and documentation to delete DM’s Facebook accounts, mail package to Utah
Phone calls-pick up urn

Accomplishments
-stretching and knee exercises
-breakfast for dog me and DD32
-reboot laundry
-start bread
-temp and meds for DD32
-shower, dress and pick up bedroom
-walk outside
-errands-bank, Halloween store, DD32s favorite store, coffee
-start new loaf of bread
-trash
-swish and swipe
-read
-lunch
-walk
-windex
-mop bathroom floor
-read
-20 minutes on Shutterfly stuff
-freeze bread
-take recycling to dump
-get twins gifts wrapped and ready to mail
-dinner prepped and eaten

[Doggedly]

The absolutely worst are the sports attire stores. Like, do they have a policy that says fat people should be discouraged from exercising? Or do they believe that the young, thin and athletic would be offended if they ever encountered a fat person in the same running jacket? Most of the time, they do not even carry anything in size L, let alone anything bigger! Plus a lot of them "size up", meaning that something marked as "large" is actually "medium". Which is probably because they want to sell other sport equipment (by convincing their customers that they are fat).

I think that a lot of people believe that nobody who is overweight ever exercises. There are plenty of people who work out and are strong, but still carry that extra weight. Plus, if you judge people for being fat, wouldn't you want to do everything in your power to help them get healthy? No, because then we would all be on an equal footing.
Some time ago, I heard a show on CBC radio that stayed with me. In Victorian times, the middle class distinguished themselves by education. They looked up at the aristocracy, who were secure in their position by titles handed down through the family (and a lot of wealth extracted from less privileged people.) They looked down at the working class, who did harder jobs and lived with less privilege. The middle class wanted to secure their positions for their families, but for most jobs could not be handed down through inheritance. Because there was no real difference between the middle class and the working class, and the middle class really wanted there to be one, they attributed the virtues to themselves and vices to the working class. Middle class were educated, well mannered, sober, etc etc (in their own minds at least.) The working class was portrayed as ignorant, given to drink, given to street brawling, etc etc. It was meant to secure the perks to their own class. But then, there's always somebody who didn't get the memo, and people of good will set about improving the working class. Free public lectures for working men became a thing, societies to promote sobriety, women's circles to instruct the women on how to be good wives.
When I was a child in the 1960's, I was still hearing these stereotypes from my foster parents. That middle class houses have many books and working class houses have many TVs etc.
When I started working in the 1970's, it was usual for employers to require a high school leaving certificate for basic jobs. This was grumbled about by people my parents' age, because in their day it was normal to leave high school and start working in their teens. If a young person had graduated high school, there was a good chance that their parents were middle class so they would be streamed to the better jobs. By my generation, most of us were able to complete high school, so university was used to stream the middle class kids to the more privileged positions. But as blue collar jobs got better and better paid, and white collar jobs were losing ground, most people's kids had a chance at university. So they couldn't use that to fell superior to the classes that they wanted to consider beneath them, they couldn't secure their children's futures by excluding lower classes and they couldn't even openly talk about their superiority to other classes because culture had changed to consider everyone either middle class or on the way to being it. So what to do? Unpaid internship was introduced. If you did a full time job to pay for food and shelter while in university and you now have the interest clock ticking on your student loans, you can't afford to work for free for months in order to get streamed into the good entry-level positions in the most desirable companies. Who can afford to? Middle class kids who live at home. That has become one way for privilege to secure privilege for their own. But how do you get to feel superior on a day to day basis? I mean, by this time, the plumber owns the house next to yours and has two better cars than yours. Like the Victorians, we turn to virtue. It used to be that poor people were skinny because they couldn't access enough food. Their labour was physical, so they burned off calories fast. If you got fat, it meant that you had enough resources to overeat. But now, meat and fresh vegetables are likely to be priced out of reach. The food that has been made available to the poor is not only starchy but laden with hidden fats and sugars. And the poor are as likely to be doing sedentary work as actually walking around or lifting things. It's the person who spends all day going between three part time jobs who most needs the convenience of fast food, which used to be so cheap, and who can least afford the time to grocery shop, plan meals and cook them. By the 90's and early 2000's, it was the poor who were statistically most likely to be fat. Since being skinny used to be linked to starvation and fat with wealth, people who are slim can make a big show of appearing to ally themselves with the poor while actually emulating the wealthy. Nowadays, the more wealth and privilege you have, the easier it is to eat healthy food and find time and energy to exercise. The caregiver who puts their time and energy into helping others can be looked down on as lazy. The father who leaves the exhausted mother to continue looking after all of the children, cooking, cleaning etc. while he goes out to train every evening can be looked up to as virtuous.
So it may well be that the retailers of the sports stores realize that if their customers see someone much heavier than they are in the same outfit, that might pop that bubble for them and they might be less inclined to keep spending.

[Doggedly]

Sorry for going on and on about that. I just really loved that show. It was an eye opener. I had never connected the Victorians' preaching about education and virtue with their insecurity about their position in society.

WTG on getting all of those errands done, L.Ann. Mmmm... fresh bread!

Hi, Peaches

That's great that you got to see your dkids, Lauranlind. And you know what? Having them visit while your house seems like a disaster to you, might lead to more invitations to visit them. It signals to your ddil that you are not going to be judging her homemaking skills harshly when you come to visit, so there's less preparation needed for the visit.

Hi, Gma. Good insight.

Funny you should say that, helia. I found a surprise puddle in the kitchen in the middle of the day; nowhere near the pee pads. I didn't have Wash Kitchen Floor on my bingo card, but the floor could always do with a wash.

Kittykatt, I think that a day spent with pansies (and other flowers) is well spent.

[L.Ann]

1-quick house pick up
2-fold laundry
3-FACE


Menus
Sunday-chicken/black bean and rice bowls
Monday-ground turkey tacos
Tuesday-red lentil soup
Wednesday-DD32 out/leftovers for me
Thursday-DD32 out/leftovers for me
Friday-out after Hopkins

Events
Sunday-walk w/friend@9, Downton Abbey @1, DD32 to Toy Story with DD 38
Monday--Little Bit 7:40-5, Little Bit school 9:15-11:45, urn pick up
Tuesday--Little Bit 7:40-5, Little Bit school 9:15-11:45, 10 dentist me crown
Wednesday--Little Bit 7:40-5, Little Bit school 9:15-11:45, DD32 PS 3-8, lunch w/friends at 12:15
Thursday--Little Bit 7:40-5, Little Bit school 9:15-11:45, DD32 32 PS 3-8, fall book preview@8
Friday- Hopkins

Weekly House Blessing-mop kitchen, dining room, vacuum
Extra Stuff- work on last Shutterfly book, fix dress for DD32’s dance, make wrapping paper with Little Bit
Little Errands-drop off DM’s driver’s license, send email and documentation to delete DM’s Facebook accounts, mail package to Utah
Phone calls-pick up urn

Accomplishments
-stretching and knee exercises
-breakfast for dog me and DD32
-reboot laundry
-start bread
-temp and meds for DD32
-shower, dress and pick up bedroom
-walk outside
-errands-bank, Halloween store, DD32s favorite store, coffee
-start new loaf of bread
-trash
-swish and swipe
-read
-lunch
-walk
-windex
-mop bathroom floor
-read
-20 minutes on Shutterfly stuff
-freeze bread
-take recycling to dump
-get twins gifts wrapped and ready to mail
-dinner prepped and eaten
-clean kitchen
-short walk to finish steps
-diet site

[Peaches1000]

Next:
-Laundry #1 to dryer
-Restock ice/water
-Files/Med Info/Papers/Emails - 10 min

Extras:
-HH Speech - text about Monday 3pm appt
-HH OT - text about Friday
-Monday 3pm Dr B Appt - Telehealth
-Tasks - (Amex)/(DH reim)/(make food options list)/(move desk area chargers)/(addtl)
-Declutter/organize/clean - 10 min
-Files/Med Info/Papers/Emails - 10 min

Routine:
-Laundry #1 hang/fold
-Put away laundry

-Cat - brush/food/water/litter
-Vacuum something
-Prep for next day (clothes/calendar)

Done:
-Bedroom - pupa
-Dress/ready
-Foyer Bath - pupa/restock
-Fresh food for kitty
-Open blinds/get water
-Medicine/vitamins
-Medical - Dr B - info/msg
-This & that
-Check email
-Update Toodledo
-Check bank accts/Amex
-SSA info - 70 min
-Refill pill box
-Pull bill file/sort
-Enter auto pymts in PT/update excel
-Enter bank activity in PT/recon
-Pay bill via online bank
-Enter bill pymt in PT/update excel
-Phone DH
-Fix den lights
-Close blinds
-Gather dirty laundry/sort
-Laundry #1 to washer
-Check den lights
-Hldg file/emails
-Eat

[helia]

That sounds like an interesting show, Doggedly, and kind of fits with how I understand the history of class and body size. Another point: some big city low income neighborhoods don't have true grocery stores. They just have corner stores that sell more junky type food. At least this was true in the big D city not too far from us. I was shocked when I heard that several years ago. Since then, there has been a push to get grocery stores with fresh produce into those neighborhoods; there's also a push to have neighborhood gardens to grow fresh produce. Also, I don't know how much idealized (and now photoshopped) images of women in the media have factored into body size image; I'm thinking of the model Twiggy in the. . . 60s?
trissie, if I'm jogging and I see a heavier person jogging, I make a point of waving and smiling bc I think they're doing something much harder and more courageous than I am! Not that I'm super skinny either.
Hi Peaches.
Yum L Ann.
Interesting that houses in town are cheaper than those not in town, Lauralind. Nice that they'll stay closer!!
Sounds like a good day, Kitty!

I'm home for the evening. Totally exhausted; grief comes in waves even though she's still here. Sometimes I'm very sad. Other times, it's not on the surface, like now. This hospice nurse told me to sleep with my phone by the bed. If there's a way to guarantee a bad night's sleep, I think that is it.

I didn't go for a jog. I just didn't feel like it.

Next:
- darks: fold and p/a
- charge phone
- read/ relax

Later:
- payroll: planning out next week
- read book
- darks: w d f pa
- update health apps -- try to do this today

TaDas!
- up; weighed self
- coffee
- email reply to CE
- email deletions + weather website - high of 76*F today
- back exercises
- s2s and self care
- made bed
- kitchen reclaimed; dh helped too
- gather stuff and otd
- 11-2-ish sit with Mom
- some qt
- payroll: posted pic to help explain a concept
- progress knitting
- chatted with hospice nurse
- home; lunch
- looked up P/T bill for Mom - another one came; the payment must have crossed it in the mail
- paid my own co-pay for urgent care visit (Lyme disease)
- laundry sorted; darks washing
- darks --> dryer
- gather stuff and go sit with Mom again; will the morphine make a difference -- not sure
- more knitting
- duolingo
- home and dinner: tamales, rice, green salad
- after dinner clean up

[Doggedly]

We call them "food deserts", helia. We have them in my city too.
I hope that you are able to get a good sleep, despite the worry.

WTG Peaches and L.An.

I've just been installing software.

[Gma]

Helian, even tho she cannot swallow, a comfort measure is to gently swab her mouth with moisture, but not so much that it needs to be swallowed, as it gets very dry.
You are tending so well to her. It has been said that some mothers have an internal desire to have their family with them to say goodbye, and others want to go "alone" and wait for the children to leave. What ever happens, you will be able to say that you were a faithful daughter, and cared for her the very best possible.

Now, my day Oh my....
I'm having landscaping and new plants at my house. I went to the local garden center and picked out a few. They were closing at 4, the center in the town where mother is closed at 5. Mother wants to help me pick out some of the plants. I left home, planning to get mother, take her to the second garden center, pick out a tree and a few perennials, take her out for supper, then return to the NH. Oh the best laid plans...
I arrived at the NH. Staff had just noticed that she had a large skin tear, and there was blood running down her leg. Staff nurse followed their protocol and put a dressing on it. An aide and I tried to find out where this had happened, as there seemed to be discrepancy between aide story and mother's report. Mother's story turned out to be closer to right, as we found blood on her bedspread and carpet. Aide said she found mother in someone else's room and that was when aide first noted the bleeding, and there was a paper towel on the wound (seemingly indicating that mother was trying to stop the bleeding herself?) Instead of taking her to the garden center, I took her to the emergency room/ urgent care, back in our hoe town small hospital as they see people quickly, and the large hospital in the city where the NH is can take hours to be seen.
Then we headed back, planning to go to supper, but mother said she needed the bathroom. So we returned to the NH, I left Mom with the aides and I went to get take out and bring it back.
There was a big to-do about how to safely help mother transfer from place to place, and the method they chose didn't allow for getting into the bathroom. So I had them get a commode into her room, and then Mother decided after telling me 5x that she needed to have a BM. that she didn't really, as she didn't want to use the commode. In Minnesota we call that an UFFDAH. I apologized to the staff on ehr behalf.
She wants to go to church in the morning, so I set her hair - that was a challenge as she would not sit still, and I was putting curlers in a moving target! But I got it done.
I left home a while before 3pm, and returned to my house close to 1130 pm.
While I am writing this, her bloody clothes are soaking in cold water, and I will tend to them on Sunday. Sometime, but not before church.
I have to plan what I am going to wear, then go to bed, so I can get up early enough to leave here, drive half hour to the NH, generally allow 1/2 hour to get her into the car, and another half hour to get back to church.

So, dear friends, that's been my all too typical of a day.

[lucylee]

(((Helia))) We are all thinking of you and your mom and your whole family. I am praying that you can rest and trust that God has you all in His hands.