Pruning Saturday

[Indiana]

Fried pickles are oh so good if done right. A light batter and not greasy and slices not chunks.

I like thin crust for my pizza. Yesterday because I eat at 3 pm they put my pizza on flat bread instead of making up a large sheet of pizza on dough. I loved it. I like thin crust pizza and when I make it here I use tortillas.

[Kathryn-in-Canada]

I like my pizza thin crust too. That's why I'm loving the ones I make on a pita bread.

As for introvert, I'm an introvert who masquerades as an extrovert. To watch me in public, you'd be surprised I consider myself introvert but then I have days and days where I literally sit in the house and do nothing to recover from my outgoing days. Part of the reason I love it when dh travels without me is then my outgoing activities are usually ones I've got myself into, rather than being dragged along. I'm in a real introvert stage right now and am dreading the next time I have to travel afar.

Errands went really well. The bbq place had the parts we needed (we bought an expensive-to-us bbq last time so we'd be able to keep repairing it instead of having to replace it every 4 - 5 years.) Plus they were doing a fundraiser bbq for cancer so I had my lunch there and got a chance to try three different mini-burgers made from a recipe book. Didn't like any of them but it was a good experience.

The cakes were ready at Costco and there were zero lineups (at lunch on Saturday - whodathunkit!)

We fit the cakes into the church fridge, barely, and stirred the coleslaw. I put out the hymnbooks we brought over. We have 60 sets out so that's enough for 120 people and we are only prepared for 100 so that's good.

Talked with the handyman about the water situation (the church's outside tap froze and split over the winter.) Talked with a gentleman coming out of the cemetery. He needed to talk for a bit to ease back into life after visiting the graves of his parents, siblings and wife. Thankfully he said, "I'm the only one left...." so I knew he was feeling down and needed someone to listen for a bit. Pastoral care is easier when people ask for it.

Dh trimmed back the maple by the kitchen window (it has overgrown the roof too much) and then we trimmed the oak so you can walk under it once more. That will make the lawn lady's life easier. The first two loads of laundry are dry and the last one is out now. It was quite cloudy when I hung it out but it is fine now.

Dh has a headache so is lying down inside instead of in the sun. He's getting those a lot these days, something more for me to worry about. He took something for it at 12 and still he's feeling bad.

[lucylee]

Kally -- IKWYM sooo well! My ddad is DEFINITELY one of those people who think HIS way is the ONLY/CORRECT way.

This is a much-skippable vent, but I'm going to leave it so y'all can see that I didn't mean to offend with MY comments about the dog -- I'm just explaining my relationship with my ddad -- and it is HIS feelings about the dog that are at issue now. I can live with it -- b/c I don't have to LIVE WITH it, of course -- not my dog, not my house. I can accept that.
BUT... if you want to read on...

Along with the fact that it is "wrong" for ds & ddil to have an indoor pet, among what my ddad feels are our many transgressions we could include the fact that
1. dh watches too much sports and is much too concerned with sports
2. we stay up too late and sleep too late
3. we don't eat right/eat out too often
4. we don't like to eat out (with them) on Sunday afternoons
5. we don't visit them often enough
6. we go to too many movies
7. we have someone who mows our yard for us
8. we do not keep up with household maintenance like we should... for example... the fence that needs fixing
9. we do not trade cars often enough
... sigh... that's just for starters.
And of course, with all his thinking, he thinks he is acting/speaking in our best interest. He rarely ever says anything to dh, of course -- just to me. And yes, there are PLENTY of things in HIS life that I could say need correcting... but nooo... he cannot see that.
I'm not saying his arguments don't have some merit, either... we should eat more healthily... we should have better sleep habits... we are not perfect by a long shot... but otoh... I was just thinking the other day, when I was talking to dmom... I'm going to tell her the next time he criticizes dh, she needs to tell him:
No, Mr. Lucylee is not perfect... but he has made Lucylee a good husband and DS a good father and Lucylee has considered herself to have just about the perfect life for the last 32 years. The only thing she can really complain about is her anxiety-disorder, AND A GOOD PART OF HER ANXIETY COMES FROM TRYING TO PLEASE YOU!

It's not all his fault. I know we are all a product of our up-bringing, and HIS father was kind of a difficult task-master, too, I think. He is the first born son... I am the first born daughter... and I guess we both bear the perfectionism and responsibility that comes with that birth order. I know I have been too hard on ds in many ways, too.
I also came along when ddad was only 21 years old, and he was probably feeling some pressure to raise me "right" and prove himself as a father, too, now that I think about it.

On the good side, I am aware of this tendency in myself, and I am constantly apologizing to ds. Just last weekend, I told him, "I'm sorry we put so much pressure on you." He said, "It's okay -- I thrive under pressure." LOL.
Dmom says this is the difference between ddad & me -- I do realize when I'm doing this to ds, and try to make amends. Ddad just bulldozes through, oblivious to the rubble he leaves behind emotionally.
He HAS improved though, as he has gotten older and since his health problems became more serious. Like I said when I began this conversation, he is VERY concerned that he not do ANYTHING to hurt ddil's feelings! He is really crazy about her. She loves his '63 Pontiac, LOL. She knew right away that the way to his heart was through his car!

END OF VENT. Probably waaay TMI, but newcomers like Kally & elly can now see where I'm coming from, I guess.

I think I need to go out and walk. I let this morning get away from me.

I have never tried fried pickles... I love thin crust pizza... and I think I'm an introvert masquerading as an extrovert, too. I mean, most of my IRL friends would not realize how seriously hermit-like I have become over the years. When I was a child/teenager, I was VERY extroverted. I was always speaking out in class, etc. It's just this social/travel anxiety that has come over me since my late teens that has sorta paralyzed me.

[Indiana]

I too am an introvert that comes across as an extrovert.

[ellyphant]

Indiana--These fried pickles were slices. They looked like fried squash at first. I like thin crust too...saves calories.

Okay--No, the pickles are not health food. Frying is a good way to add calories to pickles!

Kathryn and Lucylee--You are in the book (wish I knew how to add smilie)! My husband is also an introvert masquerading as extrovert. He does what he must to be successful at work, but likes to say "Home is where my heart is". The two of us are fine just puttering around the house...

Lucylee, I sometimes think it would be nice to live in the small hometown with many of my relatives, like you do. That is how my cousins live. But I also know that families can make each other crazy at times. With us, the moving away was probably a good thing. Have always loved to read books where there is a small town and everyone knows each other.

[Harmony]

Sounds like we are all struggling against natural tendencies. I'm definitely an introvert but see the problems with that...and as I get older and older I am concerned that I will end up one of those little old ladies who stays in her house, sees nobody, dies and nobody misses her. So I force myself to be part of things, connect with people, make friends, so that I will not be all alone in my old age. I do not have family in this town, that concerns me. Life is not always comfortable, but I'm forcing myself to do what will be best for me in the long run.

(Lucylee). Noone should have that much control over your life as your DDad. But I have no idea how to not let his feelings about things bother you.

I've pruned back my chore list for today. I am tired out from yesterday. My right knee is sore from who knows what. My arm muscles are hurting. I've just been puttering around and taking lots of breaks.

Our tenant came over to get our little spare OLD lawn tractor. DH and he rebuilt the carburetor (after he ran out for a couple parts) and he was pleased that it ran and cut nicely. It's a rust bucket with a wet foam seat right now, but this guy knows tractors and will work on it and keep it going. I'm glad we had one to give him when he no longer worked for the landscaper and needed one.

So, DH went over to old house to help him put new filter in refrigerator line, and he came home & ordered parts for the ice maker. It wasn't shutting off properly, so he fixed that, then discovered the valve in the wall needs replaced so he's off doing that. He says they are doing well over there, thank goodness, and the plants all look good and are pruned nicely and mulched... they have taken in his sister's 2 kids because she is in a bit of trouble, and they are struggling, but trying hard to keep up. Presently they are $140 in arrears on the rent, but said he'll have it this week. I wish they didn't have to struggle so much. He has a new job, hopefully things will get better.

Also been thinking about Harriet. Odd for her to be missing this long, surely hope things are ok.

[sherinjoy]

Hi - Add me to the list of introverts that appears as an extrovert in public/social situations. I've heard about that book ellyphant and thought about ordering it from Amazon. Several bloggers I read have recommended it. My DH and DS are introverts too - we would all stay in the house for days if we didn't need to go out. I agree with Harmony - I know that as I get older I will need more support from friends, so I make an effort now to connect frequently and keep friendships alive.

I am also concerned about Harriet's lack of posting the last few days - hoping we will hear from her soon.

I'm excited to go see Idina Menzel tonight in concert. She is the Broadway and movie actress with a beautiful voice - she was the original star in Rent and Wicked on Broadway. She is on tour and performing at my local concert theater this evening.

Off to the adventures of Saturday chores first though - then fun!

[Kathryn-in-Canada]

Ds is in NYC right now and went to see Harvey last night. Dh and I are soooooo jealous. We are plotting taking off mid-week sometime soon to go see it. (Sheinjoy's comment mentioning Wicked, which is also on dh's list to see, is what made me comment about Harvey.)

I'm kind of glad I'm jealous of ds. That means his life is on the right track!

Lucylee, while I agree with a lot of your dad's comments, I find it awfully rich for him to complain about your upkeep of your house. Has he finished the repairs (to the ceiling wasn't it?) that he dragged on for months and months and months? No wonder you put off doing repairs - they take for ever!

My agreeing with your dad on the other stuff doesn't amount to a hill of beans. It is just when you are unhappy about something like your weight but are eating out all the time I see a conflict. If I were your parent, I might be concerned for you about that. And I hear how tired you are and think not that you go to too many movies but you need to go to earlier shows so you can get your rest too. (Actually, I like that you go to movies because you let us know which you like and our taste is similar.)

So I see a lot of his complaints having to do with his love for you and his worry about your happiness/health.

My forsythia is still not pruned. The final load of laundry is inside now. And dinner has been decided. Chinese for dh, frozen food for me.

[Harriet]

introvert but agree with others re coming across differently, which is work.

beagles can be indoor or outdoor dogs but like long walks if they are indoors. Short hair for them, of course, easy to wash in warm weather - a lot depends, for a mixed, on what the other parent was, which could change everything, even temperament.

forsythia all around our community is unpruned

I am a busy bee.

Film at 11 or check J and c

helia, our commencement was very simple and brief as we had to get out of the way for the next group (half) of the 8th grade as far as parking, seating space, etc. Biggest applause and appreciation for the special ed class (in which dd was a volunteer helper) ; boy from that class led pledge to the flag with difficulty but very moving. In addition to a couple certificate moments, we got a photo of dd with 2 happy girlfriends in their pretty dresses in the crowded, frantic hall. Got home and realized the background is obviously the boy's bathroom sign and open door. Sigh. Dd was very happy with her certificates and excited for some friends who received others. She became a little tearful as she thought of friends who are in the later group we were simply not allowed to wait around and see, or friends who will attend other high schools, or leaving teachers behind, etc.

[lucylee]

Harmony, it's not like ddad has this "control" over what we DO... he just has too much control over how I FEEL. It's like he is in my HEAD all the time. I mean, I go weeks at a time without even seeing him, so it's not like he's in my face all the time... and often times, most of the time, really, when we talk on the phone, the conversation goes fine. So it's not like he is CONTROLLING in that sense.
It's just... if something DOES come up that he disagrees with, he is sooo quick to let me know... and I do NOT understand why, but his disapproval/disagreement just drives me NUTS. And I'll be still thinking about whatever the issue was LONG after he has forgotten all about it.
I'm sure my mother does not AGREE with everything we do... but somehow, she & I can talk and discuss things, and everything is just fine. I don't WORRY all the time about making her mad or hurting her feelings.
* sigh * I would probably be a great case study for a psychiatrist, with this issue. But I think ddad has the same effect on dbro, only dbro is 14 hours away, LOL.

Yes, elly... small town/close family life IS great... but yeah... sometimes the world (of family) IS too much with us.

Sounds fun for ds, Kathryn! And for you, sher! Enjoy!!!

And Kathryn, I understand what you're saying... I KNOW ddad's opinions have merit... it's just his WAY of saying things to me, I guess, that makes me crazy. But you are exactly right -- it IS awfully rich for him to complain about your upkeep of the house when HE is the one who put us off so long!!! It is also awfully rich for him to act as if we spend too much money on sporting events. This is a man who owns 2 Corvettes, a restored Pontiac, a boat, plus his and his wife's daily vehicles. * sheesh *