SHEs Organized

Frustrating phone call with my music friend. She's the one who just lost her grandson to SIDS so I tend to want to be gentle. But she makes it hard.

Today she was talking about how rough it was with her other daughter. If it was me, tough love would have been provided a decade ago and perhaps my friend is right that it is late to start doing anything but to be honest, my friend and her dh will die one day. And when they do, if they don't do something now, their daughter will still not have ever worked and have no idea how to live on her own. As well, my friend and her husband would like some space in their lives to get to know each other and to work through their grief. But their daughter is still at home. With her dog.

She is now 24 and I feel should be literally locked out of the house and tossed to the winds. Nothing else has motivated her so perhaps she needs to feel hunger and cold and wet and see if she has what it takes to function in this society. She quit school at 15 (although you legally can't quit until 16 here - she's smart and manipulative and figured out how to game the system.) Now she is 24, has never held a real job, doesn't have a proper high school diploma, has never lived on her home and is completely dependent on her parents for everything.

If she had a mental or physical excuse, I wouldn't advocate for tossing her out, but another friend's daughter with Downs Syndrome has a job and some skills (she'll never be independent but she gets up and works every day.) My music friend and I were talking from 10:45 to noon and her daughter was still asleep. During the phone call the daughter's dog had thrown up 3x and my friend cleaned it up each time. She also had already got up and taken the dog out for walk, and was up and down during the phone call letting the dog in and out. In the meantime, the daughter slept on, oblivious.

My son is also sleeping, oblivious right now, but that's after working an 8 hour overnight shift. He has an excuse (and is on his second long-term job.) Yes, he lives with me or at my house for free but that is because he just got back from 9 months out of the country and he's doing me a favour and watching the house. And working almost full-time, insuring and driving his own car and slowly paying me back for the money he borrowed while away.

I reminded my friend how dfs came to me at 17.5 and the condition to his living with me was pay $100/week room and board, get a job and get a driver's licence. In 4 months he did all that, saved up tuition for his first semester and now is married, owns a house and has a steady job with full benefits. He still makes bad decisions, but they are his own and he works through them.

I've been having this conversation with my friend for 10 years now since her daughter left school so I'm frustrated that nothing has improved over the past decade.

But as parents they are very lazy. The daughter has finally got her beginner's drivers licence but can't take the test because she can't practice. Mom had her licence pulled due to medical reasons and Dad can't be bothered to take her out. He also complains about having to drive her places but also won't let her take the bus late at night. So he won't let her work anywhere with late hours (such as McDonalds) yet worries because she has no job. Parenting is work and the longer you wait to step up to the task, the harder it gets.

Good morning, everyone! I woke up w/a terrible headache and I'm having a little trouble getting into the day. Maybe s2s will help... anxious to see what wonders the vinegar has done for my showerhead.

We have our weekly Wmart trip today of course, and dgs will be here soon and will be staying till past midnight...
then tomorrow is nursing home visit and ds goes to the local tv station w/gospel group, so dgs will be with us most all day tomorrow.
Wednesday is * turn your head, Harriet * -- ironing day...
So my week is filling up nicely, it seems.

I do intend to spend some time in the focus area and try to get on track a little bit, anyway.

(((FF))) for family drama. So glad you were able to build a peaceful, happy family for yourself.

Also glad to hear that Moses is doing better and that the Twins household got some sleep last night!

27 decisions... that seems like too many right now, Harriet... I am impressed that you did that in four areas already! WTG!!!

I haven't even done my 5-minute wake-up exercise yet, Nancy...

Waving to Kathryn and Lynlee * and YES, it is sooo good to see you more often, Lynlee! *

(((HUGS))) Kathryn, for patience w/your dfriend... so frustrating...

Thanks for the start-up, Dee. Photo albums are my current procrastination task, and since they are in the den/living room, this will be a good week to try to make some progress. Hope all goes well at the eye doctor and good luck with the car shopping!

* Oh * I forgot to tell y'all -- and Harmony, maybe you've dealt with this before -- guess what? While laying brick walkway at dmom's, our friend contractor cut phone line! Dmom said she had warned them about it, and she KNEW about the "call before you dig" rule... but none of them thought they were digging deep enough to matter. Contractor doesn't know this, but when the phone man came, dmom told him what happened and I guess he asked who the contractor was and she told him. Phone man said, (somewhat jokingly we HOPE) "I'm going to send him a bill for $400!" Dmom said she told him, "NO, do NOT send him a bill; I will take care of it." Dmom says that IS kinda standard procedure, that contractor's insurance covers things like this, but she doesn't know if our friend carries much insurance... and dmom's complaint is that SHE has paid a huge amount of "insurance" to phone company over the years and never had to use any of it. So if they charge anyone, she is going to protest long and loud. But ds will be seeing contractor friend tomorrow; I guess he should warn him that if he gets a bill from the phone company, it is a mistake and to please inform dmom immediately? I sure don't want hard feelings between contractor and dmom, b/c contractor is one of ds's best friends. (He's about dmom's age and has definitely stepped up to fill in the grandfather gap left in ds's life.)

Feeling like quite a defiant slug now - dh came home for lunch and I didn't like it that I didn't have the house to myself!

Finally going to try to get moving.....

-grocery list so I can make lasagne later in the week
-clear kitchen counters
-empty dishwasher
-phone call to set up dr appt for dmom (anti-procrastination job)
-sweep up and straighten garage in area by door into the house (anti procrastination)
-call vet re: meds for dMacs

Morning all. Feels like afternoon here as I just woke from morning nap. We get up so early that nap is necessary. Made waffles with s /f syrup for breakfast.

My ankle - where I got the cortizone (sp?) Shots is purple and black and I can hardly walk on it. Quite swollen, too. I am NOT going back to that Dr. It only hurt once in a while before the shots - now it hurts all of the time and I'm limping. Can't even walk the dog.


Time to go clean up the kitchen. TTFN

S2S... Bible reading...

Still feeling kinda sluggish, myself. Headache is better. I'm just being lazy, I guess.

Wow, (((MT)))... that ankle sounds terrible! Maybe you should see another doctor? I've never heard of steroid shot doing that.

Helia, WTG -- you've gotten a LOT accomplished since you got up. If you want a nap, I grant you permission!

Rainy here too, and haven't heard from ds... maybe he's not going to Nashville after all? I'll call him if he hasn't called us by the time we start to Wmart. DH is in the shower now.

Hemmed 2 pr Capri s.
Fixed hair.
Doing a few more mi. On ex. Bike after lunch.
It is smokier than ever outside now. Ack!

Just spent over $60 on books... smh...

Hello Dear Friends,

Sunny and hot here.

Just been really busy, mostly with phone calls where you have to be on hold forever before you get a person to talk to for a few minutes. One was for husband's insurance, I still hate Obamacare. One was for IRS, claimed they hadn't been paid and had sent a letter with penalty and interest added. Printed out the cashed check from the bank website and then sat for almost an hour before getting someone. She told me to call back in a month because the check hadn't caught up with them, funny but they cashed it 4 days after I sent it.

And of course there was a lab bill that my insurance wouldn't pay because it had the wrong code on it. They pay it every other time so I know they should but can't be settled without me making phone calls to doctor's office, lab and insurance company.

Dson-18's procedure is two weeks from today. Praying it really happens then.

Work has been busy. Have lots of new people, some are nice, some are not. Trying to settle into a routine with the new ones in our group. One lady had taken a job being a supervisor over the front end but has come back to us. It was stressful and she ended up having to go to the doctor's and be on meds just to continue so when there was an opening to come back she asked if she could. Was so glad to get her back. We always have a lot of fun working together.

Working on laundry. Trying to get that done for today anyway.

Have been sick for a while with a sinus problem. Was on anti-biotics but it just seems to hang on.

Back to the laundry twin.

Waving to all!

No Helia she was the baby's aunt. She misses the baby terribly because she was the one who would wake up at night when he woke up, give him his bottle and rock him back to sleep (her sister and the baby moved in about 6 weeks after the baby was born so it was 4 adults, 3 dogs and a baby in a smallish house.) My friend misses him most in the evenings, that's when she'd play most with him, the aunt in the middle of the night and the grandpa in the morning. He always leaves for work by 6:30 and the baby would be awake and they'd have their visit before he'd leave for work. He finds that time of day unbearably empty now.

It would be nice for my friend and her dh to be able to bond a bit now and get through this together but there's always this extra person who is demanding attention. And at 24 she shouldn't be.

BTW: the sleeping past noon has been a habit for the past 10 years. Really, I have no idea why she isn't working the closing shifts at a McDonalds. Those hours fit her body sleep rhythms perfectly. She could start at McD's and she isn't stupid so could work up to manager at a better paying restaurant. I really think she never learned how to apply herself to anything. She and her sister used to get days off school because they didn't want to go. This one took it a step further and just stopped going to school because she didn't like it.

She needs a 'boot camp' and to be removed from her enabling family in order to catch up to the skill set that most 24 year olds have.

Her sister was almost as lazy but finished high school and once out went to college away from home for 2 years. That's when she grew up and learned about having to live to a schedule. So she can hold a decent job.

I'm waiting on a download of accounting software. The company that did my existing software has been great. They called and told me what I needed. They then sent an activation code (but not when they said they would because they had issues, so they phoned to say it would be late arriving) and then called to make sure everything has arrived.

This will get the accounting onto my new computer and then I should be done moving the 'easy' things over. I still need my bible software but I'm going to try to install that another time before completely giving up and buying a new version.