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Re: Wednesday 1/3 of July PWYC
Posted: Wed Jul 10, 2024 2:35 pm
by lucylee
One third of July is gone… one third (?) of thee we day is gone… and I am still sitting in my bed watching tv. Smh…
Church meeting tonight. We are still in a state of limbo re: getting out of the United Methodist conference. Powers that be (above our local church leadership) are dragging their feet and creating a lot of distrust. Our own church leaders did drag their feet in the beginning and that is why we’re in this situation but at this point, it is what it is.
I did ask a question last night in my last post— I guess I’m taking a survey.

Long story short — Is it okay for a grown child to pay for parent’s meal when the family eats out often and regularly?
I should s2s. After 4 nights with a child underfoot, I am just worthless.
Re: Wednesday 1/3 of July PWYC
Posted: Wed Jul 10, 2024 3:49 pm
by Nancy
Lucy L. if they are able of of course it is okay for them to pay.
I have fetched mail.
House is good so far and I have not had a/c on yet will do that later on.
The new roof underlayment & venting is really helping I can for sure tell a difference!
Had a bit of lunch.
Clouds are coming in hoping they help to protect from glaring sun.
Refilled water for birds under the tree out front.
Last load of laundry is in the dryer in the basement it is so nice downstairs.
Found the foam pad I cut down for like sleeping on the floor etc. too hot to consider the deck ...
there is a couch down stairs it dosn't fold out but I have napped on it its a vynaly type stuff so blanket under neath
is good.
Legacy journals coming later this week. I really enjoyed reading the one my mom did that I gave her to write in such a blessing now.
So ladies I encourage to do one as well. It is pen and paper better than other types b/c tech. changes every 5-10 years.
Re: Wednesday 1/3 of July PWYC
Posted: Wed Jul 10, 2024 5:21 pm
by Lady Maverick
Is it okay for a grown child to pay for parent’s meal when the family eats out often and regularly?
Of course!
I don't think there is a rule.
We ALWAYS paid for our parents' meal when we ate out together. Our income was 2-3 times more than our parents and we knew they didn't have an income that allowed for many extra expenses.
However, income and generations aren't a rule.
When we go out to eat with DS50 and family we usually pay. DS50 income is more than 10 times our income and they eat at pricey places. DS50 knows that DH will insist on paying so there have been times that DS50 disappears during the meal and pays before they bring the ticket. But other times he allows DH to "win" as a sign of respect. DS50 doesn't want to upset DH by refusing to let him pay. If that makes sense. BTW - these are meals in the range of $300-$500.
I almost always pay when I take grandkids out to eat. DS15 has taken me out to eat and insisted on paying. I let it happen then try to make it up in other ways, so he gets the money returned without messing with his joy of treating me to a meal.
Our adventures went smooth today. DH and I both had places frozen on our faces. I'm sure we will look extra lovely for a few days. On a good note - there wasn't any skin cancer that needs further care.
DD13 was sooooooooo ready to come back home. She would be quite happy to stay at home and never leave.
Re: Wednesday 1/3 of July PWYC
Posted: Wed Jul 10, 2024 5:45 pm
by lucylee
Thanks for the input! We are talking about mostly fast food or casual restaurants -- less than $100 for the five of us, and I'm figuring, if he didn't ask me to join them, ds would still be paying for himself, ddil, and the kids. And he DID ask ME, most of the time. I'm thinking I might start trying to cook some of the time, when he and dgrands are on their own/ddil working. I should ask him if he'd like to plan on spaghetti occasionally, or something like that. DGS mentioned the other night that he wanted me to get some talipia and fix that again.
I did order ddil's bday cake just now (text with dcousin.) I'll offer to pay for the bday dinner, ddil wants to go to local steakhouse and there will be 8 of us.
OTOH, ddil brings home a lot more than I do these days, I think.... but OTotherOH

-- they have a lot of expenses and credit card debt, etc.
Carpenter is at their house right now, putting in a DOOR in dgs' bedroom! Dbil has remarked that seems extreme, but ddil has a real paranoia about the house catching on fire and all the exits are in the far end from the bedrooms. House is probably approx 100 ft in length, approx 3500-4000 sq feet. There has never been a fire in that house, but it IS about 65 years old, and so the wiring is 65 years old, and it would be difficult for dgrands to get out a window in an emergency.
DDIL is getting Ring Doorbells for all the doors with phone alerts for any motion at the doors.
I'm thinking about doing that here.
I am FINALLY s2s, and have talked to ddil and dcousin. Need to drive the truck and keep the battery built up on it.
Should I really wait 6-12 months before selling this truck? It has no AC, the seats and headliner are torn/worn, the paint is chipped all over on the driver's side (where the sun hits it in the carport.) It is 36 years old, but only has a little over 100,000 miles. The man who changes the oil said with that mileage, I should ask $5000.

I doubt I'd get that much for it, but dcousin has expressed interest in it before.
Re: Wednesday 1/3 of July PWYC
Posted: Wed Jul 10, 2024 6:26 pm
by Twins' Mom
Is it okay for a grown child to pay for parent’s meal when the family eats out often and regularly?
Yes, of course, Lucy! Ds will almost arm wrestle dh for the check sometimes. He and dd have taken us out for birthdays and anniversaries. And considering there are three of them and one of you, it seems very fair for ds to pick up the check on whatever arrangement works out.
so there have been times that DS50 disappears during the meal and pays before they bring the ticket.
dh does this too, but both ds and ds Z have noted the tactic and sometimes get there first.
We are having meat loaf for our dinner, with either salad or green veggie. Might make sweet potato too.
I've whiled away the afternoon playing, and it wasn't even that satisfying. Looking at the editor's notes reminds me too much of public accounting when "review notes" accompanied every tax return, lol.
My paternal-side first cousin (one of only two) texted this afternoon to say that his younger brother, born in 1964 if reckoning is correct, passed away overnight. Another early death casualty in my family. Both his parent, and my parents, lived long lives, but he joined my dsis and dbro, although he nearly made it to sixty. Dcousin E suspects sleep apnea (thinking of Dee's dd Shelley here) but dcousin was diabetic too and had lost some toes, and also had had stroke-TIA type symptoms that had never been resolved. I suspect a second schism on my paternal side related to my dgrandmother and duncle - E's father. We were never close, they lived out of town, two hours away, and we got short visits on holidays only. I offered to drive over and go to the funeral home with him, or be a sounding board, since I've planned too many funerals. Too soon.
Re: Wednesday 1/3 of July PWYC
Posted: Wed Jul 10, 2024 7:20 pm
by Nancy
I have taken to showering in the afternoon as my mornings are full with walks and watering while it's cooler outside.
This is working for me for now, another scorcher we set a record yesterday.
Dgson is work out of town glad to hear that it's cooler there, he is interested in the free TV
just needed the right person. dd suggested I contacted him b/c he knew lots of collage age kids that might
want one for an apt. win - win.
Birds are using the bucket by the bird bath in the shade.
Okay back to my learning about pirates!

LOL!
Buccaneering what they do.
Flag ship key word LOL!
Saw a recipe for chicken patties you fry up using canned chicken 1 egg mayo & cheese hoping will be better than the last froze. ones
I had. That might be good in a break like pizza pocket only chicken filling.
Saw dgson. TV is gone!

He took 1/2 jar of pizza sauce and one package of bread dough for pizza and a horse shoe sausage.
His girl friend is coming over so they will be making pizza.
Probably installing the TV too.
He liked my gutter cleaning tool too.
Re: Wednesday 1/3 of July PWYC
Posted: Wed Jul 10, 2024 9:57 pm
by Lady Maverick
(((((Twins)))) I'm sorry for the loss of you cousin. You are such a kind soul to volunteer to help during the funeral planning process.
Nancy - BWTG on providing TV and food to your dgson.
I just finished my golden hour outside. I needed to sit down in front of the fan to cool down before I continued with my doings.
DS15 has friends here. They are in/out/in/out/in/out of the house passing through from front door to back door. Reverse. Repeat. They are working on a dirt bike and who knows what else. #LifeWithTeenagers
Next up - make 4 sandwiches and assemble ingredients for tomorrow's lunch sack.
Re: Wednesday 1/3 of July PWYC
Posted: Wed Jul 10, 2024 10:48 pm
by lucylee
(((Twins))) I'm so sorry about your cousin. That is very kind of you to offer to go and help with arrangements.
I"m back from church meeting. Not very productive, but most of us are on the same page with all this at least -- sending another letter to the powers that be... just praying about it otherwise. Some of us are getting very impatient with the waiting for answers. The higher-ups seem to be putting us off and giving no answers to what our process will be to get out. We are a bit suspicious that they will eventually say, tough luck, the time is done, no more disaffiliations. I must admit, I'm a bit angry that our pastor and some of our leaders seemed too trusting of the conference elite and waited too long to start this process. Then the conference moved the goalposts -- instead of a Dec. 31 deadline, suddenly they set a Sept. 1 deadline and apparently, our church didn't receive notice of this until it was too late.
For some people this might not be a hard decision -- why don't we just leave... but I've been in this church now for almost 45 years, and it's hard to give up and just leave people I've been worshipping with this long. ESPECIALLY after dh's death and the way they have reached out to me at this time. I wouldn't say I have any super CLOSE friends in my peer group here, but I do feel I am a part of this church family, and there are some older people in the church who are really special to me, and I love our pastor.
But dgrands need a more active church, a church where there are friends their ages. DDIL has signed them up for Bible School next week at our "sister" church, which has left the United Methodist and become independent. IF we leave our home church, this is where we will all go. (My family, I mean.) DH was in agreement also, even though our current church had been his home since he was born, the only church he ever attended regularly, except when he was in college.
Battery is low on this Chromebook. Better plug it back in. I'm trying to catch up on some DVR programs and I need to fold a load of towels and do exercise.
Re: Wednesday 1/3 of July PWYC
Posted: Wed Jul 10, 2024 11:24 pm
by Harriet
Twins', when your dbrother passed away, I believe, you had a cousin who talked things out with you and was a comfort. Is this the same direction or was that the maternal direction? No matter, I am so sorry to hear that a cousin of yours has died and so young.
Nancy, those splashing birds are living the good life, for sure, especially if your area hit a record high.
Lots of housework today with laundry and declutter/organization overlapping.
The previous linen closet declutter the other day, has yielded 2 extra fitted sheets in sizes we don't need, one for each of dd44's and ds' households. Washed those up today. I did a remarkable job neatly folding fitted sheets with the elastic that goes ALL the way around, especially when you consider that it is IMPOSSIBLE. The impossible just takes a little longer.
When I went outside to water this evening, I was shocked that the plants the raccoons had damaged have some kind of a mildew or fungus. I guess they had cut places that were susceptible.
I've ordered a spray that seems to offer help - not sure, but it was inexpensive. I've taken those plants out and tossed them so that they might not infect others, but it may be too late. Unfair.
The financial guy comes tomorrow. He is sort of a friend, too, always pleasant. But the day will not be productive like this one, I'm sure. HRH and I will probably both feel drained afterward. And then we have a distant dr's appt on Friday, so that's the end of the calm week.
HRH made us a summer dessert by cutting up strawberries and bananas onto cubes of fudgsicle in bowls.
Re: Wednesday 1/3 of July PWYC
Posted: Thu Jul 11, 2024 12:38 am
by Nancy
It was 90* out still at dusk when I watered.
I saw a squirrel on a low spot in the tree out front it looked dead, eye was open but after a bit it moved and seems to have been revived.
Maybe was drunk from the apple I left under the tree they seem gone now.
ten degrees cooler tomorrow 98* F. for a hi. temp.
It is good to read of your doings today.
I got more wool spun up this evening.
I Decluttered some beans dried from my garden a few years ago, I just put them in the bed by the deck and a/c unit
they sprouted and are up 3 to 4" one good thing about
the hot weather I did put them in the shade!