SHEs Organized

Cathy…
Sounds like something I would do…hope it heals quickly!

Hang in there, Twins! Praying that every day gets better and better for you now!

Oh, (((CATHY))) -- I am so sorry!!! One of my earliest memories is of my mom slicing tomatoes and cutting her hand so badly that she needed stitches. I remember her rushing me to the neighbors and driving herself to the hospital. This was before I was three years old, and we lived in town, just minutes from the hospital, and the houses were very close. Hope it doesn't cause too much pain!

Rose, you ARE smart! WTG on getting so much done!
You too, Nancy, and Cathy!

LadyM, you are just the BEST teacher for ds. It is just amazing how he has blossomed and grown. We've all watched him, through the homeschooling and everything, and it is so obvious that he is with the PERFECT teacher. He has become an amazing young man. I know you and LordM are proud of him, and you should be, and you should be proud of yourselves, too!
~~~
I didn't get off to as good a start as I hoped to, but I got 6 hrs, 22 min sleep according to the app. Of course, this happened between 5:00 a.m. and noon. (I sleep mostly on my right side, Harriet, so I guess that's a good thing. I don't have acid reflux problems, and I bet my brain is FULL of toxins... smh... )
Since then, I have managed to
* talk to ds on phone -- he is NOT going to be able to make the first ballgame at College Town. Now I am in quandry... try to do the trip on my own, or stay home and hope he and ddil can go to the next game and take dgrands. I am leaning towards going on my own. We can spend Friday night at the condo and come home after the 6:30 ballgame Saturday, which will be late... but... I don't know. Dgrands would love to do this, then they could swim at the condo on Friday night. It's only 3.5 hours each way... surely I can do that...
Made plans to eat supper with ds and dgrands.
* do stretching exercises
* s2s
* breakfast, Bible reading
* first load of laundry is now in the dryer
* second load (sheets) is now in the washer
* spent an inordinate amount of time online, searching for "Christian grief counseling" in my area.
-- There is a GriefShare group that starts the 13 week series this Wednesday, day after tomorrow. It is an hour away, but not a totally unfamiliar drive for me. It is free, while some charge $20. (Certainly not a deal breaker, but free is free, so there's that.) It meets at 10:30 in the mornings, which IS almost a deal breaker, BUT... that might be good for me too. I would have to get up at 8:30 a.m. I'm really considering it. Maybe a group session would be good for me before I settle in with a one-on-one counselor. OR... maybe I should try both. GriefShare wouldn't touch on some of my issues, such as anxiety and holding on to things that have been in my head since I was 13 years old.
What do y'all think? Thank you, Rose and Nancy for the input in MO. I'm really considering both options. Thanks, also to Harriet for thoughts -- definitely would like to have a stranger, someone who knows NOTHING about me. Or anyone I know, LOL. Of course, that's one reason I lean on y'all so much, I know you aren't likely to run into my family and friends and tell them how crazy I am. (Like they don't KNOW, right?)

I had supper. Dh carried the large, heavy pot to the table, but I was able to carry it back to the stove.

I took the bandage off after we were sitting on the couch. I want to keep it off until bed time. I really wish dh didn't sharpen this knife. It's my go-to knife and I've had it since 1984. I'm going to try to use some other knife for a while.

(((Cathy))) I hope the cut heals without a problem

LucyLee - You are making well thought out decisions. I have heard many good things about the Grief Share program. There are also several online meetings as an option.

It is 107 today. The cool 80's & 90's are just a pleasant memories now. DS16 came home from working outside in the heat all day and collapsed on the couch for about 30 minutes. Then he jumped up and started going again. He volunteered to mow our front and back yard. I joined him outside while he did the mowing and assisted by moving the dogs and opening/shutting gates so he could mow without stopping. I appreciate DS16 volunteering to help. DH cannot be in the heat, and it would have pushed me to do the mowing by myself. DS16 is experienced in operating equipment plus the teenage complete confidence & lack of fear so he goes at top speed including popping wheelies. I am cautious so it would have taken me three times (or more) longer to mow.

Lucy L. I say grief share would be the best bet and then after that do the one on one counseling.
Not both at the same time.
Move it to the top of your priority list as this is important and more important than anything else for you now I would say.
It is good that there are some other options like on line.
I how ever dis like zoom stuff and do not even know if that option is available on this PC.
So unless that is set up already there is some ahead of time stuff to have to do.
Seems like those things always have glitches and are not very user friendly or at least when I did a Bible study on em that was the case.
You have the jury duty to think about too so that is on the docket for you. Might need to rethink the ball game stuff.
After I had counseling I always set aside time to regroup, as it was hard on me. My dsis said she had to do the same after her's.

-----

I have made up four mini pizzas and the dough is rising now.
I'll bake them up in a bit and freeze all but the one for dinner.
Good news it's cooler and winds have cleared out the smoke yea!

I am heading to spiff the bathrooms and try to do some rounds.
Might need to change to peppier conga type music.
swish & swiped in bathrooms
Mopped yea!

I just finished my steps for the day. The last 2k steps were a challenge because of the heat. The 7k minimum steps is something that I want to do and any steps that I still need to do at the end of the day fits right in with the golden hour exercise. I just got started and kept walking until they were both accomplished. At least I can sweat freely and not be concerned about a rash.

DD13 came home from school and immediately went to sleep. Being surrounded by people and socializing for 8 hours is exhausting for her.

DS16 is with his girlfriend at her house. I told him to be home before dark.

Well, I did it. Signed up for the GriefShare group.
I saw the online options, also, LadyM, and was very tempted -- but like Nancy pointed out -- Zoom meetings require a certain amount of tech knowledge/equipment, and I'm not sure I'm ready for that. Also, I think just being with other people will be good for me.
What really tipped it for me was when I told ds tonight, and he said he thought that was good, he was glad I was doing it, and nooo it wasn't silly to drive an hour to the meeting -- if nothing else it would give me a reason to get out of bed before noon at least once a week.
DS also said I should take it as a sign, the fact that the lady I talked to at our state retirement office recommended it so strongly, just days after dh passed away. Out of all the people I could have talked to, this lady was a widow and had been greatly helped by the program also. The fact that this group starts with week one THIS WEEK is also a sign -- not much time for me to build up anticipation anxiety... AND this church also has the same sessions on Wed. nights, so if I have to miss for jury duty, I am thinking I can attend the night time session. The church is about 45 minutes away from the courthouse.

So... we'll see how this goes.

DS also says I am just looking for something to beat myself up about when I start obsessing about not being patient enough or sympathetic enough, etc. with dh. He says of course dh knew I appreciated him and our 45 years of mostly very happy marriage is proof of that. DS doesn't know about all the craziness that goes on in my head -- OG, etc -- but he does know when OG died, I cried when I told dh, and I went to his funeral, so it wasn't just something I put behind me and forgot about.

DS also recommends we just forget about this first ballgame. Kids aren't completely carried away about it, and we should win by a good margin. He thinks he should be able to go to the next one, and he and ddil will take the kids. I certainly don't mind staying at home that week... 2:30 pm game in the Deep South the first weekend of September? No thank you. If something happens that they CAN'T go, I might take the kids because the drive home would not be so late. Just going to wait and see on this one.

We ate at Ch*ck F*l A.

I forgot to tell y'all I s/s the bathrooms this morning also. So I'm not totally lost in my own head or my grief... I just have these moments that I can't do anything except cry and think about all the mistakes I've made. In fact, one of the sessions is about "regrets."

The weekly topics are as follows:
1 - Is This Normal?
2 - Your Grief Journey
3 - Loneliness & Sadness
4 - Self-Care
5 - Fearful & Overwhelmed
6 - Anger
7 - Regrets
8 - Grief & Your Household
9 - Grief & Your Friendships
10 - Questions for God
11 - Stuck in Grief
12 - Hope & Resilience
13 - What Do I Live For Now?

I have seen those ads for Better Health, Harriet, and I wondered if it was a scam or if you’d get a nut-case counselor— so that’s good to have your doctor’s opinion!
I have all today’s laundry put away and clean sheets on the bed. I have walked away the pounds 15 min. (Haven’t caught up with LadyM, though.
Oh… and the best part of the day — Dgd loves me “super much.”

EDITING—
Y’all may not believe this, but it is not midnight yet and I AM IN BED!
I may not go to sleep for hours, but this is progress.