Social Saturday PWYC

[Nancy]

Well I did not get around to breakfast till after lunch time so bfast for lunch works for me.
We have walked did not see any one but the solitude was great!
I read in my current book 17 MIn. of quiet is really helpful.

What I liked the most about no land line is the reduction of telemarketers esp. during the years we vote!

Stalling on doing sweeping and mopping just sayin'.

[lucylee]

Blessed, I guess this site is my journal. I do like to look back and see where I was emotionally 6 months or a year ago. This site is so good for that. But I do occasionally write in a journal I bought through GriefShare. Not every day, but when I am having what I guess you'd call "big feelings." I may order the book you recommended.
Last night, I realized I had forgotten to take my meds Thursday night! That 10 mg Paxil must really make a difference.
After spending some time with dgd, which took my mind off myself, I felt a lot better, and today I'm doing okay. Sent a text to the man who rents from me and told them the landline was disconnected.

Mystery, I still have my dad's name in my contacts. It's going on 12 years now... but I just can't erase his name. Same with dh as my ICE 1 (In Case of Emergency) with the home #. Just can't delete that.
The phone company did offer me a second line on a wireless phone with the old number, but I didn't even wait for her to tell me the price. Whatever the price is, it just seems silly to pay any money to keep a second line when there's just one me. With Facebook and caller ID, it shouldn't take long for anyone who needs me to be able to find me, you know?

I slept pretty good last night. With dgd in there with me, I even turned off the TV (left the Roku screen saver up).

Gosh, y'all KNOW I could be a hermit! But I do enjoy socialization at Sunday School, Wednesday night class, and monthly teacher group. Also so glad my lifelong best friend has continued to stay in touch and we try to have lunch once a month or so.
She called yesterday (cell phone number!) and told me her husband has been dealing with some suspicious PSA numbers, had to have a biopsy, etc... but all came back negative. He has some kind of test Monday, but they expect to just continue watchful waiting.
I am so thankful for her. There was an episode in middle school when I was NOT the best friend I should have been, and we went for a year or so that things were very awkward between us. It was 1000% my fault, absolutely, and I apologized, but some things just take time. She forgave me, and from at least 9th grade on, we have been close. We lose contact from time to time, we have other friends, but we are always there for each other.
Actually -- in adulthood, there was another time I behaved badly, and I hate it. When she was in ICU a few years ago, I just couldn't bring myself to visit her. I think I was kinda terrified of seeing her like that. I called her husband almost daily to check on her, but I could not make myself drive the 40 miles to the hospital to visit. So I still feel bad about that. But apparently she has forgiven me for that too.
She offered to drive me to the biopsy appointment, but since ds is available, I feel more comfortable with him.
Anyway -- if I had a phone and internet connection with you ladies, and my family, I could go for a long long time without seeing anybody in person.
DH was kinda like that too, so we were a good pair.

Hope you enjoy the show, Twins. DS and ddil liked it.
Boy... my dad was a social butterfly like your dh. Dmom and I would LOL about him always having to have a "playdate." He very seldom wanted to go on vacations or even out on their boat without inviting someone else along. He grew up like that. Only one sister and one brother, but they were always surrounded by cousins, aunts, uncles, and friends.

Certainly no Nancy-style energy going on here. I've fed DGD breakfast, played a game with her, sent her home with her mom, read the paper, took a nap, fed DGS, and rode out to the cemetery to set the plant back up (it's a tiny Christmas tree in a pot, and it keeps blowing over.) Now DGS and I are back home, and he is organizing my "library." He is putting all the old textbooks together, history books together, etc. I cautioned him that he should not get more stuff out than he could put back!
I must take that tactic with myself, Nancy -- no screens/tv/computer/etc until I have done the basic WHB tasks.
YES -- I think there will be less telemarketers and scam alerts without the landline. And the cell phone will identify calls like that. Also I can keep it on silent and my watch alerts me that a call is coming in, so I don't have to listen to that harsh ringing. That had really started to get on my nerves in later years. Dmom said she received 18 junk calls like that the other day. She counted.

Yes, Harriet, it was unexpected the way that hit me about the phone. I expected to act that way when my cousin drove off in the truck... and I was just sorta relieved. Then I called the phone company and totally had a come apart. I am so thankful for my mother and for ds, and for ddil. I talked to her a little bit today when she came to get DGD. She, like DS, is just a very reasonable, logical person. Whatever I am feeling, whatever I am doing, at this stage of my life she always says, "That's okay. That's fine. If you don't want to move this for a year, that's okay. Don't worry about that."
* I really am trying sooo hard to be that way about their cluttered crazy housekeeping! I keep thinking about how LadyM always praises her dmil who never criticized anything. It is almost inconceivable to me that you, LadyM, could have ever been in the same situation that they are, but again... she's still young. (32). And somewhere the other day I read something that said, "NO WHERE in the Bible does it say 'cleanliness is next to Godliness. God doesn't CARE about your messy house."

[blessedw2]

I am so glad we all share together here - everyone here is a positive, caring, honest and clear voice for me. I am glad you are feeling better today!
nothing better than having a good friend that can be talked to even after a long time as if one has never been apart.

I have my dear aunts voice on my messages - I wish I had one of my dad. I can still hear my grandparents voices - not really words but a feeling.

hi d Nancy
I love a good quiet walk with only the sound of birds.

hi d misery so happy you have spring in your step!!! hope your dh enjoys his time with the scouts.

hi d twins hello have fun with your friends at dinner!!! I am sorry to laugh but my dh would do exactly the same with the shelf!
have fun!

d lady yay on the garden!! stay warm tonight.

d harriet - I am sorry hrh's sleep was off yesterday night.
yay on your dishes and laundry!
I love when the kiddos come too. We used to visit dh's wonderful mom and dad on Sundays - many times the other siblings would be there - always lovely. it is hard when the grandkids become teens - they get so busy with their friends. My neighbor has been letting her ds have her car but it is hard to see him gone so much with friends instead of being with her.

[blessedw2]

I rested for a bit after working on the refrigerator - ready to start again
wishing you all a good day.

[lucylee]

A thought from one of the grief emails I receive each day -- one from GriefShare and one from a local funeral home.
Today it says --

"'Nothing ever goes away until it teaches us what we need to know.' Pema Chodron (I do not recognize this author.)
"Take a moment, either in a journal or on a scrap of paper, to write down the most important thing you learned about yourself from the person you lost.... that you are more patient than you realized, that you love more deeply than you knew, or that you are loyal. Every person gives us a gift, and it is valuable to recognize each one as the precious treasure it is."

Well. That's something to think about. I don't think I have learned ANYTHING in the past ten months, and for that matter, I don't think I've learned anything in the 48 years since Other Guy disappeared from my life.
I know -- at least, I believe, Other Guy came along to distract me from some very difficult situations at home. I don't think it was God's will that he would stay in my head for the rest of my life.
I KNOW that God allowed dh and me to end up together, despite all the obstacles, because He allowed us to have an amazing son who has reached many people through his music and his character. He (God) allowed us to have a happy marriage, a Christian home, and many, many blessings, not the least of which are our grandchildren and ddil.
God knew that my dmil's words were very true -- "What you want isn't always what's best for you." DMIL had no idea I had ever wanted Other Guy, but if she had, she certainly would have joined everyone else who knew me in thinking that NOOO, Other Guy was NOT a suitable person for me to spend my life with.
BUT... even though I KNOW these things... I still feel pretty ignorant as far as learning any lessons from this, or at least, being able to ACT on any lessons I have learned. I just still feel really ignorant and none of this has "gone away" as the quotation suggests.

[Lady Maverick]

I can still hear my grandparents voices - not really words but a feeling.

IMHO, this is a priceless gift that lasts a lifetime. My dad was a champion at doing this. He must of told me a thousand times over the years to "Remember to have some fun!" No matter what I am facing or feeling, that message to lighten up is burned deep into my core being.
I tell DS16 and DD13 at least once a day....
DS16 - You are known as being a man of integrity. Trust yourself when something doesn't feel right.
DD13 - You are smart, kind, witty, and wonderful. Don't stop being your unique self.

DH asked if I wanted to go for a walk in the sunshine. Of course I did!

(((LucyLee))) Grief isn't easy....to say the least.

[Nancy]

I have dumped the trash.
Swept the dining room.
Fed the ddoggo so cute she's moved her dish next to the food canister on her own. She I SO smart!
I count her as social interaction & the other dogs on the walking route I know where they live when they get out and
some of them I know their names too.
I have not done the basement walk about yet, [Done].
Nor the laps I do some days in the back yard as needed to complete my step counts.Did some.

I was telling my dsis the types of music available with my cable and how it really helps to change my mood,
like if I am in a down one after a sad show for example I can put one some tropical type tunes and it's peppy and
really helps even some make me feeling like dancing that it good for me to do one day a week.
Like for conga FRI. / SAT. or what ever day I do that!

Got my steps in today.
Rains have started at 7:50 p.m.
Did some writing.
Thanks Harriet for what you said.

[lucylee]

LadyM, I know that walk in the sunshine with LordM was a blessing!
And I love your words to ds and dd. I know they will hear your words for the rest of their lives.

I do not have saved voice mail from my dad. I wish I did. DS had one and saved it on the computer, emailed it to me, and I think I still have it. It is not very good quality, however. I have since started saving voicemails and I do have one from dh, which I listen to occasionally. Thank goodness, I have saved videos from times he sang at church with ds and others.

I can still "hear" my grandparents' voices in my head, too.

[Harriet]

Nancy, when I hear about you greeting neighbors and being someone your close-by neighbors are used to seeing out with your ddog, etc., I think of that as so mentally and emotionally healthy/wise and physically good for you at the same time.

HRH finally thought of something he wanted to eat. I'd have never thought of it - completely unusual for him - a lettuce wrap from nearby place he almost never frequents. I was confused, but so glad he thought of something appetizing to him. He asked around a bit, but all our kids are busy today, so he ordered and got me a veggie sandwich from there, too. (based on grilled onions with bbq sauce, but full of tasty ingredients) We both finished our sandwiches, so they must have been genuinely good, however odd for us. Just so glad he has some appetite back.

I don't think I mentioned that last evening about 9, dstepdil met us at her garage fridge in the dark to give us Gatorade to satisfy craving he had then... .. goodness. She came out in her fuzzy robe! And it was cold. He's had such a funny tummy for days.

I did get in some sewing today, completing a "square in a square" block which was only hard because I had to make its size match exactly all the others I finished long months ago but ran out of the right kind of fabric for the center. It does match just right, and looks good on the design board, with a scrap I found that had a previous life as a plaid shirt! Last one of that unit.

[blessedw2]

so happy you were sewing! how fun d harriet!!!!