Blessed, I guess this site is my journal.
I do like to look back and see where I was emotionally 6 months or a year ago. This site is so good for that. But I do occasionally write in a journal I bought through GriefShare. Not every day, but when I am having what I guess you'd call "big feelings." I may order the book you recommended.
Last night, I realized I had forgotten to take my meds Thursday night! That 10 mg Paxil must really make a difference.
After spending some time with dgd, which took my mind off myself, I felt a lot better, and today I'm doing okay. Sent a text to the man who rents from me and told them the landline was disconnected.
Mystery, I still have my dad's name in my contacts. It's going on 12 years now... but I just can't erase his name. Same with dh as my ICE 1 (In Case of Emergency) with the home #. Just can't delete that.
The phone company did offer me a second line on a wireless phone with the old number, but I didn't even wait for her to tell me the price. Whatever the price is, it just seems silly to pay any money to keep a second line when there's just one me. With Facebook and caller ID, it shouldn't take long for anyone who needs me to be able to find me, you know?
I slept pretty good last night. With dgd in there with me, I even turned off the TV (left the Roku screen saver up).
Gosh, y'all KNOW I could be a hermit! But I do enjoy socialization at Sunday School, Wednesday night class, and monthly teacher group. Also so glad my lifelong best friend has continued to stay in touch and we try to have lunch once a month or so.
She called yesterday (cell phone number!) and told me her husband has been dealing with some suspicious PSA numbers, had to have a biopsy, etc... but all came back negative. He has some kind of test Monday, but they expect to just continue watchful waiting.
I am so thankful for her. There was an episode in middle school when I was NOT the best friend I should have been, and we went for a year or so that things were very awkward between us. It was 1000% my fault, absolutely, and I apologized, but some things just take time. She forgave me, and from at least 9th grade on, we have been close. We lose contact from time to time, we have other friends, but we are always there for each other.
Actually -- in adulthood, there was another time I behaved badly, and I hate it. When she was in ICU a few years ago, I just couldn't bring myself to visit her. I think I was kinda terrified of seeing her like that. I called her husband almost daily to check on her, but I could not make myself drive the 40 miles to the hospital to visit. So I still feel bad about that. But apparently she has forgiven me for that too.
She offered to drive me to the biopsy appointment, but since ds is available, I feel more comfortable with him.
Anyway -- if I had a phone and internet connection with you ladies, and my family, I could go for a long long time without seeing anybody in person.
DH was kinda like that too, so we were a good pair.
Hope you enjoy the show,
Twins. DS and ddil liked it.
Boy... my dad was a social butterfly like your dh. Dmom and I would LOL about him always having to have a "playdate." He very seldom wanted to go on vacations or even out on their boat without inviting someone else along. He grew up like that. Only one sister and one brother, but they were always surrounded by cousins, aunts, uncles, and friends.
Certainly no
Nancy-style energy going on here. I've fed DGD breakfast, played a game with her, sent her home with her mom, read the paper, took a nap, fed DGS, and rode out to the cemetery to set the plant back up (it's a tiny Christmas tree in a pot, and it keeps blowing over.) Now DGS and I are back home, and he is organizing my "library." He is putting all the old textbooks together, history books together, etc. I cautioned him that he should not get more stuff out than he could put back!
I must take that tactic with myself,
Nancy -- no screens/tv/computer/etc until I have done the basic WHB tasks.
YES -- I think there will be less telemarketers and scam alerts without the landline. And the cell phone will identify calls like that. Also I can keep it on silent and my watch alerts me that a call is coming in, so I don't have to listen to that harsh ringing. That had really started to get on my nerves in later years. Dmom said she received
18 junk calls like that the other day. She counted.
Yes,
Harriet, it was unexpected the way that hit me about the phone. I expected to act that way when my cousin drove off in the truck... and I was just sorta relieved. Then I called the phone company and totally had a come apart.
I am so thankful for my mother and for ds, and for ddil. I talked to her a little bit today when she came to get DGD. She, like DS, is just a very reasonable, logical person. Whatever I am feeling, whatever I am doing, at this stage of my life she always says, "That's okay. That's fine. If you don't want to move this for a year, that's okay. Don't worry about that."
* I really am trying sooo hard to be that way about their cluttered crazy housekeeping! I keep thinking about how
LadyM always praises her dmil who never criticized anything. It is almost inconceivable to me that you,
LadyM, could have ever been in the same situation that they are, but again... she's still young. (32). And somewhere the other day I read something that said, "NO WHERE in the Bible does it say 'cleanliness is next to Godliness. God doesn't CARE about your messy house."