Sander's White Rambler Rose Saturday

[FrenchFlybebe]

Kitty, we must be weather twins then. Much fresher temps than yesterday and the days before. We will have rain during the night, and that will fill up our rainwater barrel.

helia, no real advice about that person. Is there any change she might be around more often in the long run ? I mean, is there going to be consequences long-term fo ryou if you get involved with her in a way that doesn't please you ? As for weird relationships I'm the type of person who "gets rid" of relationships when it is clear early on that the other person doesn't get my own wishes for the relationship. But that may not be good advice for you, I don't know.

L.Ann glad the bbq and fireworks was a good time, after your day yesterday.

Not much energy for projects, but the kids are quiet so I feel I should take the opportunity to get things done. Or maybe I should seize the opportunity to just enjoy the quiet ?

TADAs
the three of us fed, lunch cleaned up
time in garden
managed to have both kids occupied quietly, and separately - I hope it lasts.

TODOs
sort school supplies that can still be of use
birthday purchases online (DS6 turns 7 next week)
snacks, maybe a movie, dinner

[L.Ann]

I see no problem with being busy for an invite you would prefer not to accept, helian. I wonder if you can just donate the items to the nursing home when you are done. We have a place where you can borrow medical devices if you need them so you maybe could donate it to a place like that or the local hospice might be able to find a place to donate if you don’t want to mess with reselling it.
We had lovely weather yesterday, FFB. Warm and not too humid and actually cool for the fireworks. It is back to hot and humid today though.

The funeral home called so I ended up rushing over there so now I need to regroup.

1-walk
2-trash, dust, windex
3-order tickets for Tarzan

Menus
Saturday-seared chicken and apple spinach salad
Sunday-leftovers

Events

Weekly House Blessing-mop kitchen, bathroom, dining room, trash, dust, windex, swish and swipe, vacuum
Detailed cleaning
Extra Stuff- work on last Shutterfly book
Little Errands-buy tickets for summer stock musical, vacuum and wash car after cleaning out the trunk

Accomplishments
-stretching and knee exercises
-breakfast for dog and me
-meds, temp, and shower for DD32
-refill med containers
-dress and pick up bedroom
-box item for return
-funeral home
-UPS stop, library stop
-lunch for DD32

[helia]

I think we'll try to donate furniture if we can, L Ann. Is Tarzan a musical?
I hope you were able to enjoy the quiet time, FFB.
Thanks L Ann and FFB. FFB, it's helpful to know that someone just halts relationships that are not healthy for them. It's hard to know what a get together with D would look like since I've never done that before, and I've never had an extended one-on-one conversation with her before.

Main Goals for Today:
1. JOG
2. Spend time writing
3. email EP
4. Finish updating the exam record
5. spiff bathroom and living areas
6. Help get dinner ready
7. 6:30 - ? Host dinner for S and D (young couple; we met him at the Anglican church; she doesn't go to church and is a PhD student at UM)

Next:
- s2s and self care
- squeegee and wipe down shower
- make bed

TaDas!
- up; weighed self -- weight is up again
- messaged D back
- coffee
- email deletions + weather website
- back exercises
- jog hot 5K
- stopped by girls' place to see the progress on the garage roofing project dd29 and dh are doing BUT they had stopped bc of the heat
- reclaimed kitchen
- lunch: wip

[L.Ann]

Our parks and rec Summerstock is doing Tarzan, helian. It is a musical but not one I know. Little Bit and DD32 like theater though and it is close and cheap so it is worth a couple of hours.

1-read
2-FACE
3-send pictures to Dsis for her choice

Menus
Saturday-seared chicken and apple spinach salad
Sunday-leftovers

Events

Weekly House Blessing-mop kitchen, bathroom, dining room, swish and swipe
Detailed cleaning
Extra Stuff- work on last Shutterfly book
Little Errands-vacuum and wash car after cleaning out the trunk, send obituary and picture to funeral home, call lawyer and make appointment

Accomplishments
-stretching and knee exercises
-breakfast for dog and me
-meds, temp, and shower for DD32
-refill med containers
-dress and pick up bedroom
-box item for return
-funeral home
-UPS stop, library stop
-lunch for DD32
-walk
-trash, dust, windex
-vacuum
-order tickets for Tarzan
-look for picture for obituary, DD38 thinks she has a better one so left that job to her

[Gma]

kittykatt, Thinking about a rembling whit rose is delightful. Thanks you for the start.
L.ann, I'm glad you could go the the family bbq, and am feeling for you as you grieve your mom's passing and plan her final service.
FFB, I have never read Harry Potter. One of the professors at my college has said that there are many theological concepts she sees hidden in those books. My dgs offered one of the movies to me on DVD. I started watching it, but it just was dark (not as in evil, but just dark as little sunshine)and I didn't get very far before I turned it off and did something else.
helian, Salvation Army, Good Will, and other thrift stores here would take the dresser. Our county has a loan closet that would take the bed. I of course don't know about your area. I think it's very reasonable that other commitments (even if its a commitment to wash the dishes or read a book ) take priority over this acquaintance from Israel, and you did the right thing by saying you were busy and unable.

(long ramble below)
You don't have to read what's below unless you want to. It's sort of a quiet lament.
I think I have been MIA for a while. My whole body is feeling sad and lonely. My mother is the social butterfly, outgoing hostess, shop and give gifts person. She is demanding that she is perfectly capable of living at her house. She doesn't like being in the NH because she can't be boss, ... and more. My dfBS, who is a therapeutic psychologist and a psychology professor, and who worked with mother plus knowing her as a friend, recognizes that mother is a power to be dealt with, that mother can be very manipulative, who has very little patience, and almost always in her life has had her own way. Yeah, it's tough to make adaptations you don't want to make when you are 101!
I've spent the day working on a bit of decluttering and cleaning in my kitchen. I seems to have messes everywhere I look, so getting dishes clean, counters somewhat clearer (handwahsed stuff sitting on a towel to dry) feels like a success. But I have to be pleased that I have done it, without any external validation. Of course, it doesn't help that I find Tutsi's leash, a couple toys, her collar, a bag of food I bought a week before she died. And will put in the basement refrigerator to keep it fresh until dsis3 comes (when???) as it's what she feed her dog also.
Of course I miss the companionship, but I have to admit I sure don't miss taking care of her, or maybe I do and that's why I'm feeling sad.
I've jsut been reflecting on my whole life - 40 years taking care of dh as he gradually deteriorated/ 26 years of his being in a wheelchair, 8 years of having to puree his food because of chewing/swallowing issues - followed soon after by sort of moving in with Mom to take care of her in her house for about 8 years, and now 2 years in the NH, doing what I can to make her life as good as it can be. But not enough to please her.
When I look at her face, and think about her life, she has had many, and lost many, friends, and she is the only one left of her siblings and those on Daddy's side as well. They had a very good life together and her face has many smile lines. When I look at my face, I see sorrow.
With Mom 101, of course I have to think that she doesn't have a long life ahead of her, but she has no chronic disease other than painful arthritis, and significant forgetfulness. (And some lack of judgment that goes along with it). So I sometimes wonder what I need to prepare myself for.
Somehow, I seem to be finding motivation by thinking that people might come to visit when she dies, so I should get decluttering and cleaning done so my house will be presentable at that time. And yes, that may take me a LONG time, as I have every room to tackle.
well, it feels good just to take a few moments to think about this, then I need to get back to improving my K - and think about how to handle/ file/ where to put what's on my K table, or whatever my mission is today. Before I go see mother and get scolded for not taking her home.

And my foot hurts - I did walk with a crutch yesterday, but a greater distance than I have done for 4 months.



,

[helia]

((Gma)) You have done so much for others during your life. So many years spent taking care of others. I hope you can take some years to take care of yourself. It makes me feel sad that after all your care for her, your mom would scold you -- but I also understand she's not in her correct mind. Thanks for the encouragement!
I don't know that musical either, L Ann, but sounds intriguing!

I'm at a coffee shop with dh. I have just completed a chatty email to EP and updated the exam record for work! I have some time to write, and then I'll go home to spiff the house before dinner guests.

Main Goals for Today:
1. JOG
2. Spend time writing
3. email EP
4. Finish updating the exam record
5. spiff bathroom and living areas
6. Help get dinner ready
7. 6:30 - ? Host dinner for S and D (young couple; we met him at the Anglican church; she doesn't go to church and is a PhD student at UM)

Next:
- spend some time writing
- Walgreens pick up script
- transition to home; house spiffing

TaDas!
- up; weighed self -- weight is up again
- messaged D back
- coffee
- email deletions + weather website
- back exercises
- jog hot 5K
- stopped by girls' place to see the progress on the garage roofing project dd29 and dh are doing BUT they had stopped bc of the heat
- reclaimed kitchen
- lunch
- s2s and self care
- squeegeed and wiped down shower
- called Walgreens AGAIN bc there was no record of my refill status; *sheesh* This was the 3rd call I had to make (plus a message to the Dr. office) to get my refill of est***iol.
- gathered stuff; otd to coffee shop
- mini QT
- email to EP
- payroll: finished updateing exam record
- update timesheet for work

[Kittykatt]

Hello, everyone!

Little Bit certainly enjoyed herself with the fireworks, L.Ann!

I hope both DBoys stayed quietly occupied, FFB.

Helian, I also think it's fine to be too busy if the thought big meeting socially with this person fills you with dread. I read somewhere that people can be divided into "radiators" and "drains". Radiators help you feel encouraged and positive and you always look forward to seeing them, whereas Drains leave you feeling exhausted. (Of course this doesn't apply if the person concerned is going through a difficult time, but I find it's a good general guide.)

(((Gma))), I echo Helian, who has some very good advice, that you've spent a lifetime caring for other people (in your job as a nurse as well as for family) and that it's time now to take care of you. I'm assuming that there's someone in duty at the NHS 24/7, which would be impossible for you to do at home - you need your sleep too. One thing I did think -when your SMum says she wants to go "home", does sheean home as everything is now, or "home" when she was 30 years younger and able to do things herself and be independent?

We were only in the low 20s C today, and there was a welcome breeze, which reduced the humidity, so I was able to work in my garden today. I've taken out a small fuchsia, which has never done very well, and in its place planted a rose which was too close to a tall saxifrage and wasn't doing well either. I filled the hole I du with water, and watered it well after I'd replanted it, so I'll wait and see whether I've managed to save it. Or not. There's several months to go until the garden centre gets it's new stock at the end of October, so I should know by then if it's going to thrive in its new position. It probably wasn't the best time of year to move things, but that rose really wasn't doing well where it was, so I feel Ive got nothing to lose.

I've baked flapjack for the Y, and shortbread for us and for dessert tomorrow , and prepped tomorrow's lunch. Time to pick out my outfit for church before I go to bed, and hopefully try for an early night.

[Kittykatt]

To do:
Cuddles and treats with Matilda, Freddie and Jude
QT
Update latest Waitrose order
Cup of tea
Get up!
Shower/wash hair/moisturiser and sunblock/ clean and floss teeth
S/S bathroom
Physio exercises
Get dressed in casual clothes
Make bed
Scoop cat trays and give everyone fresh water
Cat breakfast and meds /supplements
Breakfast and meds /vitamins for me
Quick kitchen clean up
Load DW
Quick PUPA downstairs
Quick dust and Hoover downstairs
Wind clock
Quick PUPA upstairs
Quick dust bedrooms
15 minutes in tiny front garden
3 hours in back garden
Go for my walk
Walk Freddie
Lap time with Freddie, Jude
and Matilda
Head rubs with Freddie, Jude and Matilda
Play with Freddie, Jude and Matilda
Run DW when full
Unload DW
Lunch
Cats' supper
Our supper
Sort out lunch for tomorrow
Bake shortbread
Text DF E re coffee tomorrow - not this week, as we're doing the coffees after church
First load of towels in machine
Towels hung up to dry
2nd load of towels in machine to wash overnight
Clothes laid out for tomorrow

Extras:
Especially if it rains today:
Cut kitty nails FJM
Brush FJM
Flea control FJM
Laxapet JM
Some work on photos?
Look at those kitchen curtains?
Can I work on those lots I want to sell on eBay? Even just 30 minutes would be good!


Garden extras:
If dry-
Feed potted roses
Water that patch on the edge of the front garden that's starting to dry out
Move things to a better place?
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[Peaches1000]

Good afternoon!

Next:
-Check email
-Update Toodledo
-Check bank accts/Amex
-Fix internet bill pymt/note auto
-Note DH logins/file

Extras:
-Bill Pay
-Project - DS insurance
-Project - set up DS pymt (6/10 hldg)
-Online shop - chair
-Declutter/organize/clean - 15 min
-Files/Med Info/Papers/Emails - 15 min

Routine:
-Foyer Bath - pupa/restock
-Cat - brush/food/water/litter
-Vacuum something
-Close blinds
-Open & sort mail/file

Done:
-This & that

[L.Ann]

Hi Peaches! Enjoy your dinner with friends, helian. Looks like you got a lot done today, kittykatt. I think all of the care taking can be exhausting, GMA. You spend a lot of time with your DM and give her a lot of nice experiences. I think for your self preservation figuring out how much time you need for yourself is important. Then if you can prioritize that the care taking is easier. This is easier said than done…. I spend most of my time with Little Bit and then DD32 fills in the rest and that is before DM’s things. I have figured out that I need the walks and the weekly walk with my friend. If I can do those things I can cope with a lot. I can tell when I haven’t had enough me time because I get snappy with DD32 and I have to relook at how much me time I am getting.

1-walk
2-clean up kitchen
3-FACE

4-diet site
5-email obituary and picture to funeral home

Menus
Sunday-leftovers

Events
Sunday-CVS, vacuum and wash car
Monday-Little Bit@7:40, pick up DD38 @4:30, hotel
Tuesday-fly to Utah

Weekly House Blessing-mop kitchen, bathroom, dining room, swish and swipe
Detailed cleaning
Extra Stuff- work on last Shutterfly book
Little Errands-vacuum and wash car after cleaning out the trunk, call lawyer and make appointment

Accomplishments
-stretching and knee exercises
-breakfast for dog and me
-meds, temp, and shower for DD32
-refill med containers
-dress and pick up bedroom
-box item for return
-funeral home
-UPS stop, library stop
-lunch for DD32
-walk
-trash, dust, windex
-vacuum
-order tickets for Tarzan
-look for picture for obituary, DD38 thinks she has a better one so left that job to her
-read
-fold laundry and reboot second load
-send pictures to Dsis for her choice
-change clothes, pool with DD32
-short walk while DD32 swims some more
-change clothes
-dinner prepped and eaten