2025!!!!! Winter, Spring, Summer, Fall, winter again.

[blessedw2]

I really want to get back to the pwyc. It will be interesting to see when I can get routines (of some sort) in my day!

starting work at 9:25 am
mom is still up
I woke at 5 and decided that I needed to go back to sleep just in case
woke at 7:00 and dh had already fed the dogs.

say a prayer of thankfulness

Me:
meds:
breakfast
s2s

mom: woke at 9:30 with horrible nightmares that seemed
real.
Meds mom's bp was 165/72 even though she is on valsartan mmm - I had to give her some furosemide bc she had a little swelling
95% oxygen but heart rate at 100 now - I think her a fib is acting up a bit. when it drops and goes up then it's her a-fib.
breakfast 10:10 am
pull cloths for tonight
get dressed she got dressed by 1:05 after I came back - dd older and dh were here.
brush teeth
brush hair
get her to walk
pt I think I need to take time out on Saturday

on dh: i found out that he didn't think he had to brush his teeth bc he wasn't eating. I don't think he was brushing his teeth in the last couple months.
he is not angry any more - thinking the new trac is giving him the oxygen he needs.



house dailies

dogs dailies dh fed dogs

garden dailies again

put away

I need to step away from mom. I had suggested that she puts on shoes so that her white socks don't get dirty from the dogs. - "what if I don't want to?" I said that good too. I don't need someone trying to argue with me right now. She thinks she is being funny but she means it too. I am going to go outside. I picked up bird seed - so that also needs to be put away.

2:06 pm '
continued on clean up in yard. trimmed raspberries.
3:03 played with dogs and continued clean up outside.
I need a shower. and I should have exercised all winter.

sunday was a beautiful work outside day -

[blessedw2]

pulled my card file.

what is today:
cooking
dh speech therapist
dh ent dr.

mom didn't sleep. until almost 1 am but was up at 9:30 am. She forgot that she ate dinner exactly after she ate dinner.
last night she had some dementia moments
dh was happy this morning - smiley guy
dd older got rest over the weekend for what seems to have been months. She said she felt rested.

mom:
blood pressure was 167/72 even with the valsartan twice a day mmm
keeping an eye on it bc of the tia she had recently
today she did put her hair up.
she ate breakfast
took her meds
cleaned the top of her tooth paste
I pulled cloths for her but I want her to do it at night - I have been tired at night and have put it off.

mom and I had a cup of coffee and mostly milk. we clinked coffee cups and said thank you for the day and wishing everyone a good day.

me meds I am no longer using a card for breakfast lunch and dinner - lol I never forget that.
s2s
dh fed dogs
I opened the gate for dogs

the house is too hot for me - dh/mom need warmer - 71 - that's hot for me.

still working on trash and recycling.

I have mom's Alsatian music on - I moved it to the kitchen - trying hard to spark her to live life during the day!
--------------------------------
mom doesn't want to get dressed - I find if she does't get dressed in the am then she will never get dressed.

she continues to tell me that in the old days they didn't wear pjs - not true - my grandmother was a very organized neat person and even in pictures they had night wear. She is mentioning medieval times - I think that was a long time ago then she turns on me. "what are you wearing?" I can see why I struggled as a child with this behavior - I wanted people to be happy - not good. (my cloths were clean and new) (it's a mean thing and it fills the purpose to get people to back off.)

She is finally getting dressed. I am seeing a pattern. if I give in she will be awful all day. I am kind but I have to be focused for her. She was not at allllll happy but now that she has her new cloths on she is no longer angry. she doesn't know which is the clean undergarments - even when she starts putting on the clean ones - "are these clean or dirty". It has to be very frustrating for her.

she is dressed! 11:58 am.
-------------------------------------
home from ent appointment - a very good appointment for dh
set up his swallow test
set up a ear appointment for mom -
- I want to work outside but it is cold.

[Twins' Mom]

bw2, I hope you get back to PWYC too! We miss hearing about your doings and thoughts.

[blessedw2]

waving at you!

[blessedw2]

April 8, 2025 Tuesday bathroom day
I slept 15 hours maybe more. I had a baby touch of a headache and that usually means that there will be rain/heavy snow soon. When I woke the tiny white spiders are out - not many - but they always come out before and during rain. I still have a wee bit of a headache trying to come in but I am not tired anymore.

dd said dh looks weaker - I don't see it yet or maybe it's the new normal that I adjusted to.
dd older and I have started a 5 to 10. minute recap each day to talk about dh an d mom - re: what we see, appointments, and moving forward. We found that mentioning it when things happened was overwhelming our day. This is working better.

my soul is a bit drained - I struggle with the amount of mom and dh's slow movements and d mom's brain staying in one area and getting lost - it hurts my soul to see her this way. Her dementia the last couple days have taken a lot out of her but she doesn't know it.

cucumber salad is waiting to be drained and dressing added to it.
chicken is made and in the fridge

it is super cold out and the dogs want to play.

It has been a struggle today. keep on swimming!!!

I worked in the fridge and it looks better.
flip more laundry

I refuse to give in!
do the powder room.

mom had a hard time with peeling cucumbers and the idea of taking the seeds out - we got through it.
mom swept for a bit and if she is not with me she gets lost a bit.

right now she is back - I gave her a hair band and her brush and she was shocked by her hair - now she is singing in the bathroom while she puts her hair up in a pony tail.

good: I vacuumed and swept the kitchen and mom moved things out of the way without me saying anything. (that's when she was back again)

next: sweep and vacuum the dining room, front hall, and front room. rinse.
flip flop laundry again

mom got her hair up! and she cleaned the top of the bathroom sink

next hang up cloths and put away

served dinner and mom ate without a complaint -
I again didn't do dishes at night.
I need to get that together.

[blessedw2]

mom was good today - got lost in the process of brushing her hair by cleaning the top of the sink - but otherwise very good. She knew my brothers wife, sister in law, and her sister came to take her out to lunch. Mom was very happy and sister and law and her sister were very happy to go out together.

so far: I havne't s2s
but have had meds, breakfast & lunch
mom had her meds, was dressed beautifully - she asked me what she was putting on - good - no arguing. (or discussing as she puts it.)
her bp was average for the first time in a week.
I put together recycling and wrapped boxes.
emptied dw
cleaned counters, stove etc.
flip flopped laundry
put away mom's cloths

saying a prayer for guidance.
my thank you to God has been a little - I need to sit down and slow down my thought process so that I can be truly grateful and say thank you!
not as much done today but dd and I agreed it was a day without major stress.
spoke to nutritionist I like her

[blessedw2]

April 10, 2025

Need to get:
cards - brother in laws birthday is April 13

THERAPY MOMENT FOR ME: dd older is going through the post stress/care of dh and d mom. she has been angry with dd younger for not being in Naples bc if there was a flight emergency. Also dd older and I needed help but we said we didn't - that's our doing. She is angry at dh's siblings for making comments but not coming to see dh in the hospital over those 21 days - He was on deaths door again.
we are no longer upset with dh for letting this happen by not listening to the drs., not letting us get him to drs., lying and hiding things. Once he got hit with the not breathing - we just let that feeling go because it was so deadly.
She is frustrated with my brother about the people doing the back room. frustrated that he let the accountant be late, he was trying to be nice, on things so she had to file later. She feels like her life is everybody else's after all this logistical stress. work has been the same.
She and I are worried about dd younger.

On top I did not tell her yet that my brothers wife took mom out.
She should be out living her life. I have had therapy to learn how to let go of the family moments, learn how to deal with these moments and have good boundaries - let those own their own thing.

found out that dh's family has their opinions - get angry if its not in the way they think (some) but they are good people. it's there issue not ours. (that was an alleluia process for me). everyone will judge but you don't have to live the life they want you to live. They do what they want to do so why take it in.

We realized that everything was coming at us all day and we were sharing that information all day - too much. We feel the solution is working for us now. we meet for ten minutes daily to go over things. We have to do this at the next hospital moment.

Dealing with post stress emergency takes time.

mom: deliberately not getting dressed - then it became unfocused - but now is getting dressed - trying to keep her going for the next clothing item to the next - she is in the process of trying to figure out how to take her pants off so I better go help her.
done - she didn't argue angrily but argued just the same about changing her undergarments, socks and sweater - what's needed brush teeth, brush hair
she is still looking at her shoes - thinking - I won't interrupt that unless 15 minutes go by - it's so interesting to see the slowed down thinking process - it's there but takes time. she found the shoe horn (she calls it a shoe ladle and now her shoes are on! . I have noticed that even with focus from me that it can take an hour for her to get dressed - as long as she feels respected; it's all good. still going through the process - she took her toothbrush that I gave her and brushed her teeth. 11:43 I don't want to do outside work without having her dressed.

me: meds
mom: meds
me s2s
mom s2s
cleaned sink
cleaned counters
empty dw
laundry wash dry
fill through out the day

[blessedw2]

mom had lots of nightmares that she can't remember but she knew they disturbed her. she got up and went back to sleep. She knew there was something that she was thinking about but it went out her brain.

She didn't get up until 11:15 am.
She has had her meds - bp a little high, breakfast was made and now being eaten. (too funny I mentioned she could have breakfast of a sandwich - she wanted cooked veggies but not raw so I made her breakfast.
she has an appointment at 2 for her ears.

dh tried making appointments without me - I have to remember that sometimes he doesn't understand the process and will take over. I at first was frustrated by him coming up with different dates and times (I had already set up the appointment but dh didn't tell me that they needed to change it- he kept trying to change it himself and then come and ask - I gave the young woman my phone number from now on).

this morning did some dailies
turned dw on from last night
mad lunch for me -
I am working with a nutritionist.
worked on inside seedlings and fertilizing the seedlings/plants that are now up.

took mom to her ear dr. she had build up and now she is hearing better out of her right hear - set up a hearing test.
I know I have to Make dinner - I would rather work outside. where does the time go.

mom going to the dr. - she was so with it! wonderful.

[blessedw2]

April 12, 2025 Saturday.

looking ahead for the week:
Sunday April 13 d bro in law bday
Monday: April 14 dh: speech, nurse
Tuesday: bathroom shower doors go in
Wednesday: dh gastro dr.
thursday:
Friday: Good Friday
Saturday: 19 dd younger comes home. fertilize
Sunday 20th easter

pick up dogwood
contact young man that helps me with the garden
contact pulmonologist to return oxygen
start bringing plants outside to toughen up.

mom: meds, breakfast :Dt
mom is getting worse body wise - I can see it.
also if anyone thought she was able to wear clean cloths would be wrong - I think this had been going on for awhile. I don't think I am to blame for this. today she again started to put clean underwear over her dirty underwear - It is a slow process so I have her get dressed in the room next to the kitchen. I can see to of my eye what she is doing. sometimes it's hard to see how much she has changed.

she argued with me about her hair - she kept getting lost in the drawer while attended her hair - she was angry with me but I gave her a choice of doing it herself or I could do it in 15 minutes. she finally finished and then went back into the drawer - that gives me the idea of having her match things - organize simple things.
lets see if I can get her to brush her teeth.
I have gotten a lot of dirty looks today

her issue wasn't me as much as she just doesn't want to do things. I try and try to get her to move etc.
at least dh has been very good for the last couple days - he even took the garbage out and the containers in

easter is being held at my sis in laws - I still think they don't understand that things change in an instant here - I was asked to bring pancakes and sausages - normally I would say that is an easy peasy one but making pancakes in the morning, without knowing if there will be an emergency, is stressful for me. I asked if I could do something that I could drop off the day before - or bring something that won't be missed if I can't come. so she sweetly said bagels/sausage and croissants.

ordered dogfood
ordered gym shoes


next: finish kitchen
finish - that mom finishes dressing

[Lauralind]

Blessed.. I scrolled through your thread here. How beautiful. What a beautiful expression of your thoughts and daily events and experiences. Could be me. Except in your story I am dd older. Dad lives with mom and your thoughts of what she does are eye opening. Dad has his own health issues. Bypass surgery last month.

I hope I can be of encouragement along the way and learn a little as I follow you. Wow. Thanks for sharing your life. A journal. I should put mine all in one place to see the gradual changes.

Your poetry throughout is a blessing.