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Spring April 19, 2025 Saturday

Posted: Sat Apr 19, 2025 9:14 am
by blessedw2
what I have to do today:

wash mom's laundry and bring it over to nursing home
bring mom's meds
buy creme brûlée for mom :D
buy the sausage for tomorrow - I wish they would have let me go on this. :D
I hope I can find them
cook those
brother is at hospital with mom - they are supposed to take her to the rehab place by ambulance today. I wish I could do the work to help her through this but I can't
dd older will go this afternoon and I will go this evening
dd younger is coming home but I won't be home when she gets here.
I need to set up the bedroom for her

my hope is to weed and plant my plum poppies
I need to put the boxwood outside

my hope is to also do a room by room. plant the dahlias on Monday. I will have to be at mom's during the week.

before doing my daily cards - go to store

cooking the sausage now :D
bought mom bigger pants that are loose bc she has to wear a depends right now. :D
I am feeling very overwhelmed and it's probably bc I am not doing anything but cook the sausage.
dd is already over at the hospital with brother.
dogs want to play

how to get past the overwhelm feeling: do a card!
Next flip laundry and wash mom's cloths

Re: 2025!!!!! Winter, Spring, Summer, Fall, winter again.

Posted: Sun Apr 20, 2025 9:51 am
by Lauralind
I am glad your mom is getting mobile again a little and things are improving. And that the car was a simple fix. Its way too much when everything happens at once. Where does dd younger live?

Phew. I am quite enjoying the weekend. My kids are all around. Dd and her dh live in Alberta and they came this weekend to see their nephew. Ds and ddil and baby have been around quite a bit too.

Yesterday we tried to get out and do something. Mom and dad have a beautiful place on the lake. Except it's very run down now because even last summer they couldn't keep it up. We decided to dig a few things out of the gazebo and have a weiner roast. One step too long maybe. Mom was great. Dad.. well he let himself get a little too cold. He was shaking and weak. We ended up making him a fire in the fireplace and left him to warm up. I feel like I should have done that differently but he may possibly have done too much. Ugh.

Dd hasn't seen her grandma since Christmas and definitely saw a difference. Grandma was in bed when we got there. We got her dressed and took her down to the campfire. Definitely a lot more nursing care. Then she got into clean up mode and decided to put all of dad's stuff in his meds bag again. I wish he would put it all in there and keep it that way but he's got it all laid out on the table... ugh. She's going get into something she shouldn't again. And I can't clean up the table.

Re: 2025!!!!! Winter, Spring, Summer, Fall, winter again.

Posted: Mon Apr 21, 2025 10:29 am
by blessedw2
what a blessing to have your d children, their spouses and baby come over!!!
how fun to visit you mom and dad and have a fire! I am so sorry your d dad got chilly - I bet he just didn't want to go inside! I don't think you could have done that differently - it could have been perfect and I am sure he loved it - sometimes it happens.
I know about the meds too - dh wants it all out - he has it all over the fireplace. With my mom around (b4) I worried that she would hide them or take them. I understand that!

I wish you a lovely day d lauralind!

Re: 2025!!!!! Winter, Spring, Summer, Fall, winter again.

Posted: Mon Apr 21, 2025 11:07 am
by blessedw2
I am just getting started:
we had rain and hail last night.
dh is starting to take over again certain spots but in a healthy way.

start:
s2s
meds :D
clean up moms room
clean kitchen :D
put dishes in dw and turned it on. :D
start morning routine.

I have to go to the hospital at ?

dh had his last speech therapist appointment :D
dh had his nurse :D
I am tired!

Re: 2025!!!!! Winter, Spring, Summer, Fall, winter again.

Posted: Tue Apr 22, 2025 10:01 am
by blessedw2
last night ended up resting and fighting a background headache.
got a good night sleep with a lot of guilt of not going to moms bc brother was there all day on and off. I feel bad about that but he is going home for a couple days - so happy he is doing that. I will be going two times today.
I also have to buy tops for mom

mom's underwear is missing - where is it?

spoke to brother. I will leave here at 1:30 pm or 2:00 to meet up with the person wanting to see what mom likes -

time to act!

so far dw washed (needs to be emptied), counters and table washed, microwave cleaned, sink spiffy, stove cleaned, swept, vacuumed and washed kitchen floor
fertilized seedlings
moved seedlings that can handle the cooler weather in the three season room and opened windows to start toughening them up
flip flopped laundry
washed Dog bowls
went through mail
pack mom's extra pjs
will bring hangers for her closet
next take my meds (late)
rewash mom's turtle neck bc it is a bit blue

next: work
sweep and vacuum family room, front hall, dining room, laundry room and powder room.

Re: 2025!!!!! Winter, Spring, Summer, Fall, winter again.

Posted: Wed Apr 23, 2025 9:56 am
by Lauralind
We did have a lovely weekend. Such a joy having my 2 sets of couples kids in the same space. Happens so rarely because dd is 9 hours away but it thrills me they connect with texts and such on their own.

Mom and dad enjoyed it too and I actually managed to take some pics and a 4 generation with dad down to dgs. The joy on mom's face when she holds her grandson is priceless even without words her excitement sounds can speak it.

A little challenge though that I plan supper for 5. The other kids and my sister were on time for the meal and visit but dad always comes hours early. He brought mom at 1230 and was back by 130. Ooph. Long visit but ok. They were tired but they do love to see the kids too.

Now my project stuff can carry on. Dad can only improve?? Maybe settle into some kind of routine care?? I know. That is high hopes with dementia and other difficulties. But somehow for my own mental health I need to create a routine of less involvement on my part for a while.

I hope you can find a stable balance yet with mom in care and your own family's needs. And yours. Ooph it's si hard to prioritize ourselves but we need it.

Re: 2025!!!!! Winter, Spring, Summer, Fall, winter again.

Posted: Wed Apr 23, 2025 12:35 pm
by blessedw2
absolutely priceless!!! so happy you had time together!!!

are your parents living with you?
yes dementia is a challenge for routines - I noticed at the nursing home that they have 8 am breakfast where she must eat with others bc it makes them realize it's actually time to eat- even if it's a little, lunch is at noon, and dinner is at 5 pm. no mater how tired they are they wake them up. physical therapy and other things are also on a routine - I can't do that like they do.

good for you to see you need time - can you and her other siblings create a plan - they also have dementia adult care time at places. adult day care - I haven't been able to do that with mom. For me I know there will be a time that I can't care for my mom - right now we are at one of those times.

it is really hard to prioritize for ourselves! I felt it was easier when I was younger with a strong body and not tiring as much. praying your d dad is getting better and better each day.

Posted: Wed Apr 23, 2025 12:42 pm
by blessedw2
dh is starting in on being persnickety again - not big but he wants space in all areas again. he wants garage - I had put the christmas in there bc it was easier for me but he wants that space back.
we shall see how that works

plants are in front of the fan
I am tempted to put all the plants outside for hardening but we are supposed to have a big storm tonight.

put away has been done
next sweep the first floor again
take my meds
swish and swipe bathroom
play with dogs
put bird seed out
put hummingbird feeder out
put away in bathroom in hall.
clean off the top of the dryer
now that it is not cold - put the laundry things on shelf in garage
buy potting soil
wash blankets

spring April 25, 2025 Friday

Posted: Fri Apr 25, 2025 9:42 am
by blessedw2
I can't wait until I can get back to the normal and pwyc.
poor mom and the helper and nurses had a rough night - even with ambien -
her nights and days are really mixed up. it's probably pain.

pull my cards:

s2s :D
meds :D
turn on dw
put plants outside to harden off :arrow:
transplant tomatoes etc.
buy potting soil - I found out I had some

sweep the whole house and vacuum
list work for tomorrow -

ended up having to go to mom's - brother was there - she was bad today - out of it - exhausted - did not eat lunch - didn't drink water - they laid her down and that helped - she is very fidgety and in pain when she moves - she hasn't rested in 4 days.
I overreacted with brother -bc I thought was going to do the same thing my mom did with my grandfather - the nursing home stopped water and drink to my grandfather for three days - my mom signed that they could do that - it was horrible way to die - I thought when he said no water that is what he meant - he meant no iv - I am used to seniors stopping the eating and drinking on their own before they pass. I thought he signed papers and went around this, as mom had done, not telling me - (he told me he had to sign papers yesterday but told me today about the fluids - I overreacted and told him that I thought I could trust him. :roll: Honesty is very important to him. I was wrong. I don't know if Iet would talk to me again. I apologized - I am used to my family not telling me things and boy or boy I was wrong especially after all he had done. this was a bad one from me. wow

this is why I stay away from people if I am upset - I rarely rarely get upset rarely - I hadn't planned on seeing him. He was helping mom with lunch.
geesh!

Re: 2025!!!!! Winter, Spring, Summer, Fall, winter again.

Posted: Sat Apr 26, 2025 8:47 pm
by Lauralind
Oh dear. I really hope you can sort things out with your brother. Misunderstanding happens. I am really terrible at conflict and have had plenty of that making dealing with family really hard. I don't have any advice cause I would probably do this same.

I'm exhausted and not getting anything done in my own place today. I spent the morning with mom again. Cleaned up there and dad got out a bit. That was good but my energy level has none to share today. It's frustrating me.