Well, I'm still happily amazed. I am on the Chromebook and just breezed right in. Probably when everyone else gets through the troubleshooting, mine will disappear. But I know SOMEHOW, Harriet and the Canadas will get us ALL back together, all at once! I have faith!
I got home from dgd's party at about 6:30, so -- as predicted -- 18 hours of peace and quiet, do what I want to do, no responsibilities -- till I have to pick up dmom and go to the pulmonologist.
I do NOT need peace and quiet. I have been watching favorite TV shows and tearing up during the commercials.
This hit me as I drove into the driveway, garbage can nicely at the road (thanks, DGS), cheerful lights in the windows from the red candles dh loved and the multi-colored tree lights we both loved, and I thought... I'm doing okay... and then... I kinda feel apart and started crying again. It's kinda like dbil's fiance' warned me -- "Don't feel bad for feeling good." But whenever I do think maybe I'm feeling good... I
do feel bad. It's like I don't already feel guilty enough -- because of my head messing with me about the OG... because of the times I was resentful or impatient of the extra tasks I had to take on... because of EVERYTHING... so now I have to also feel guilty because I am surviving? I guess partly I'm just tired after all this past week.
And let me tell y'all about the party! Okay, first, speaking to other parents, making sure no one felt overlooked or ignored? Guess what? The one set of parents whom I didn't think I knew -- found out the father is a former student, I did remember him, sweet boy, and when he said they went to church at Baptist church I knew, I said, "That's where all the "Joneses' go." He said, "Yeah, my mom was a Jones.Her parents were...." I said, "You're kidding, is she 'X's sister? His wife is my cousin." LOL. I love living in a small town.
I would NOT have recognized him -- he has of course put on a few pounds since 9th grade, and is now completely bald, but still has the sweet little boy face. I was talking to his wife first, made sure I did NOT teach her, LOL... and when I asked what her husband's name was, I immediately remembered him. So that was nice. The wife also knew my bil, because she works for another lawyer in town and they all know each other.
NOW... the bad thing is... y'all. People just do not know how to DO anymore. DDIL invited probably 40 people. Written invitations with RSVP and ddil's phone number. ONLY these parents mentioned above responded to let her know they were coming. Our pastor told her this morning that her grandson would be there (and he lives approx 40 miles away!) Two other kids from church came; their dad dropped them off. That was IT.
It might have been tacky of me, but after ddil put a couple pictures on FB, I put a picture of ddil and the 4 guests, plus DGS, on FB and said something like, "Had to wait a week to celebrate but looks like it was worth the wait... DGD enjoyed celebrating with some special friends."
After that, another grandmother texted me -- she and I have known each other all our lives -- and she said, "We must have gotten confused. DGS thought it was at 2:00 and went up there and they told him there was no party!" She was frustrated that the skating rink people didn't clarify the time -- looks like it would have been a simple matter to look at their calendar and see that there WAS a party scheduled for two hours later. I agreed -- that was ridiculous. She said they had a present for dgd and he would bring it to school.
Shaking my head. WHY can't people let other's know what's going on instead of just being no-shows for a 9 year old's party.
I think dgd was just fine. The one little girl who showed is one of her best friends, and the preacher's grandson is another favorite of hers.
There was one lady at church who told us last week, when she got her invitation, that they would be out of town celebrating Tgiving with her family. And very likely others were too... but my goodness. A lot of kids would have been sooo disappointed. I"m just thankful dgd didn't seem to mind that it was such a small percentage. And BTW -- everyone acts like they are crazy about dgd, so I don't think she has any personality disputes or anything. Just a lot of inconsiderate people in this generation of parents, IMHO. Shaking my head...
In other news. I didn't do much today, except the normal Sunday stuff, but I did vacuum the window sills when I turned on the candles. Yes, I have to go around and plug in all six at dark and then unplug them at bedtime. I have a few windows that ALWAYS collect ladybugs and some little things that look like a cross between a gnat and an ant. It is very strange to me why this happens only on certain windows. However, the worst one is one that is not on the porch. I used to think it was because shrubbery rubbed against it, but the shrubbery has been trimmed down. So I don't know what causes it. All the windows face the north, but this worst one is on the northwest end of the house.
After I get home from dmom's doctor's appt tomorrow, I absolutely MUST get some Christmas shopping done. I really seem to have a problem taking care of this this year. Maybe that's a sign of grief, not having anyone to bounce ideas off. DH wasn't a lot of help, really, but he loved Christmas, and I"m not looking forward to doing this without him.
Sorry to use up so much "bandwidth" as Twins said, with my rambling depression and anger, when so many of our members can't even get in to the village. Just had to talk it out. DGrands are great for distraction, but as far as listening,.. not so much.
