2025!!!!! Winter, Spring, Summer, Fall, winter again.

[blessedw2]

January 24, 2025 Friday conga with d harriet and the girls is my plan

Mom:
Set up meds for week with mom fastest yet
talk to brother and dd older re: drs. for mom
ordered sweaters for her told brother
Meds Am: problem found her one heart meds on the end table - was it from last night or today? PM:
water try to get her to drink 2 bottles of water at least -
eye drops 1. 2. 3. it's on her list
getting dressed pants , undergarments I don't know - I don't think so , sweater , socks (not yet)
brush teeth not yet
her hair she does easily not yet
strengthening exercising
dd older is taking mom out to get her nails done - hopefully mom will go - I don't think that is happening today.
breakfast ham/eggs/toast bananas and blueberries coffee
lunch she only ate one bowl of mushroom soup. - I had a blt for her but she didn't want anything else - she did have a big breakfast
I have apples on the table if she wants a snack
mom and I separated her meds for 8 days - all marked etc.
did her calendar etc.
dinner
snack
clean up in her bedroom
creative/learning/photos/language or something daily.

I rinsed dishes and she put them in the dish washer
I showed her how to use the buttons on the dw -
she put her laundry in the washing machine
mom took out the blanket I dried. I will fold it later
mom is asleep sitting on the couch. then laid down - she is awake and then asleep. she said she is exhausted. it could be her leaky heart?
they can't do anything without the surgery killing her.

Me: helping mom takes a bit of time. I have to figure out something that will streamline the routines.


s2s
meds
fitness - look at calendar and set up new exercise class
put away


room by room
kitchen: fill dw with mom after I rinsed the dishes - it is on now - it's done.


laundry room flipped laundry put moms sweater on gentle in the dryer - flipped again - put away done
cleaned top of the washer and dryer
recycling put together

front hall
dining room
3 season room
powder room
bathroom upstairs
front room
garage
etc.
dogs: I haven't played with them but let them in the outside yard
changed their water.
birds
make dinner and soup for week
learning
set up light system for seed starting

where is the time going - I have to remember moms breakfast and other morning things take 1-1/2 hours easily.


next: 2:26 pm
next: 4:09 pm. Dh is closing fence and putting away the ladder I used

check mom's sweater rolled it

[blessedw2]

"Blessed are they who understand,
My faltering step, my shaking hand,
Who know my ears must strain to hear,
The words they speak, so soft and clear.

They see the dimness in my eyes,
The slow replies, the gentle sighs,
And when my tea spills on the floor,
They smile and say, 'Don't worry, more.'

With patience, they will sit and stay,
And listen to the tales I play,
Though memories may dance and fade,
Their love remains, a constant shade.

For in their care, I feel secure,
A love that's true, forever pure,
A gentle touch, a guiding hand,
A bond that time can't understand."

[Harriet]

Lovely poem, blessed, but then so is your recount of the day lovely as well.

I think back to times I did not give enough time to listen and really hear what was wrong, with both my dear aunts and perhaps my Mom.

Nancy says her new wood cardfile box has arrived. I hope she likes it. My only wood one is a side-by-side one that hasn't proved as helpful as I thought. But I think it's attractive. Still using my blue plastic but need to admit the lid is not secure.

[blessedw2]

I wasn't always good with my dad's mom. I was good to her but I would feel frustrated at times . I loved her and tried my best but I didn't understand Alzheimers - I still think I dont' understand the different way Alzheimers comes in with our loved one. It's like our children; each child is different and sometimes when you just think you have got it then whoops there comes another new learning curve for me. My dad's mom, my grandmother, was my first experience with Alzheimer's. I also had little ones and dh and my life was busy.

I am trying very hard to listen with mom but sometimes I just get it wrong. I can't always facilitate what she wants. I think we are just human. Sometimes it's really hard to compromise what we know needs doing with their frustrations of needing help. I can understand but it doesn't mean it is not frustrating bc it seems so simple for me that she has to do basic care. it is a vulnerable spot for her - after a life time of being independent and the strong. They are tired and don't want to be bothered with things that they don't want to do. (or they think they have done things and don't want to be reminded that maybe they didn't do what they should do.)

I think we just do the best that we can.

I feel for her and all older individuals (lol as I am becoming myself). to live a life where you could do so much, having a body that listened to you, and being independent is hard to let go of.

It's taken me a life time to understand my mom - she is much more vulnerable than I thought and that she pushes down most feelings. she would get angry if you tried talking about something to work it out. To agree to disagree. She could never talk about why she would be upset or how she felt -She also expected so much out of us but I think it's because she wanted to do those things herself. She has a thing where she always wants to look good in front of others and that includes her children and grandchildren (again another vulnerability.

- dh is much the same but it is getting worse as he gets stuck in his head longer than before. with him I can eventually find to what's going on so that he can feel better and get to the bottom line of what we can do to make things easier. once he is there he feels better.

I feel like we are all just trying to find our way - we are all here for the first time. We just can do our best with the understanding that we have.

[blessedw2]

January 25 th. yay it's a new day.

I am using this as a record for mom as well. I am here multiple times a day and it's just easier for me to list things here.

worry of today: mom's health - I think she is getting something. - at 7:25 pm we took her heart rate 37 - way too low and her blood pressure was ok. called her heart dr. - the two meds she was on originally after the hospital lowered her heart too much. we have to stop it until tomorrow. and then check her heart rate.
she was a little shakier than usual.
she wouldn't change into her night gown yesterday even with the routine of heating up her night gown.
she is still in bed but with the dog laying next to her. Awake but not ready to get up.

mom: 10:15 still laying down but awake. got up at 10:20 bc I told her she had breakfast. meds

ordered electrolytes for her and cough drops and I couldn't find my stethoscope so bought a new good one - her a fib - I believe is acting up a bit as her heart rate is at 47 - she is usually at 60/70's. I will have to watch her blood pressure as it is 159/55. I will take it later today.
meds am 10:40 - late pm
breakfast I ordered it today - she ate at 10:25 am 1/2 a Swedish pancake with lingonberries, one egg, some hash browns. 1/2 a cup of coffee with milk nothing to write home about.
trimmed mom's bangs and brushed it and she let me - now in a nice pony tail.
she had to change her pants because they are too tight - she is 126 lbs but for the woman who was always 96 - 98 lbs she finds it harder. She is a tiny thing but her abdomen seems more bloated.
12:29 mom is done!
She is soooo tired.

lunch she doesn't want to eat.

dinner Mexican -

snack she didn't want anything

pull cloths for her - please get dressed - keeping fingers crossed - yay she got dressed top to bottom - I think her abdomen is a bit bloated as she is always able to get these pants on. She won't wear the black easy fit ones. she says she doesn't like black. it's okay.

-dh - I have to watch him so his frustration with mom is not affecting mom or I as the day goes on. dh waited for mom to finish dressing - in the family room as he wants to go to "his" - he emphasized "refrigerator". It's easier to dress there than in the powder room. She is starting to have to walk backwards down the stairs. then I had asked him if the dogs were barking could he call them in - well mom went to let them in - he said at least ten times to mom - "I will do it" rather fast. She can't hear as well (need to bring her to the ear dr.) and can't respond that fast- she turned around and did not say a word to him about it. Keeping my fingers crossed that he can let it go fast.He is not a bad man-he is actually a good man - but gets frustrated easier and easier these days.

brush teeth
brush hair
nails - dd may try to take her but I don't know if she will go.
calendar time
eye drops: she only did one time yesterday so she must do that today
1. 2. 3.
yesterday: She only drank one bottle of water, one coffee with milk, one 7 up - I am worried about dehydration as that happens faster now that she is older
bottles of water recommended.: 1. add electroltyes she finished almost one bottle - she doesn't like the 7 up and the gingerale today. unusual. 2.she finished her water 3. maybe jello/apple sauce/electrolyte drink - maybe some ensure ?
I had ensure and electrolytes delivered. gave her a glass of electrolytes. and she seems to like it.
find stethoscope to listen to her lungs
keep humidifier on
photos
7:30 pm meds

me: s2s
meds am and pm
dogs play train clean their ears and brush them - once outside toss.

Major goal of the day: sweep and wash floors and trim finished first floor - not the trim
pedicure for myself and mom if she lets me.
starting my day 12:30 pm Listening to a little Hank Williams Jr.

make dinner early - soup as well.
exercise
finding joy -I need to add that today. - mom isn't 100%. so my joy is ok but not the usual joy.
read my English garden magazine I just received.
hopefully put together my seed starting light.
moved the copper tray holders with plants to the front room. I don't think dh is going to like it. we will see.

round robins

maybe pull old piano books for mom and I for fun. call piano tuner

ignore comments that I should have done this and that
laundry

muffins
raspberry sauce
etc. etc.

what needs doing:
wash counters
wash dining room table
wash stove top again
sweep and wash family room floor
put away
maybe something in the 3 season room

[blessedw2]

January 26, 2025 Sunday - I have a different attitude - a peaceful attitude on Sunday.

Mom: We called her heart dr. yesterday - it turns out the meds were dropping her heart rate way too low. We had to stop both meds that they used for her heart when her a fib kicked her heart rate was way too fast.
last night she was 37. super tired dr. said she had to stop taking the two heart meds - and check in the am.
this morning 82 hb with 92 oxygen
recently 76 hb 96 oxygen
I am trying to get her heart rate from jumping up - which it would without meds.
1:14 pm 96 oxygen heart rate from 79 to 83 geesh I am tempted to give her the other med but I will watch
3:04 pm going from 78 to 114 - geesh. will call dr. to ask if we need to give her another metropolol or the Diltiazem - her a fib I believe is acting up
as the day went on her heart rate stayed around 70-80s and not as jumpy. we didn't have to take her to the hospital. If this would have started at her home we wouldn't have known about it.

She did have a hallucination but not scary- it happens with afib sometimes along with dementia/alzheimers I am writing them down when they happen.


Spoke to dr. on call - she said to give mom her evening dose of metoprolol early - check her ratings every 1/2 hour - if too much bring her to the hospital and let the nurses use the machines - it’s not a problem right now. If she has higher 120 consistent later than give her 1/2 dose of Diltiazem - call in am if it continues to be a problem - she slept all night

76 to 82 not jumping around - regular again 4:15 pm
-------------------------------------
today she feels so much better! we will see what happens.
I ordered a cardiac stethoscope which should be here today - I will get a new phone and will order the cardiac reader.
NO wheezing yay

dog and opossum tangled and the opossum won.

I am choosing to finish watching garden answer before going further - I slept late late! havent' gotten back to it. it's okay.
I think I will pick out a book to listen to.

I want to cook today and work on garden plans


Mom:
am meds minus one heart meds
pm meds
eye drops 1. 2. 3.
bp:


breakfast: 10:00
lunch 1:22 still not hungry but I got cut up mixed fruit
dinner - dd older made dinner
snack coffee ice cream from dd older
water: 1 cup weak coffee with milk. 16 ounces of water so far - that is rare for mom
dressed s2s - she is still in her night gown 12:30 pm
brush hair she did
I have cloths for her out but at least she changed her underwear - always good - helped her get dressed down to socks
she changed her cloths -
needs her nails done. soaking now done - both pedicure and finger nails - I put cream all over her legs and arms and feet - she did her hands.
brush teeth hopeful nope
bring some photos down.
calendar tomorrow
she put her pjs on without question.
-------------------------------------------------
started at 1:23 now that mom is done.
me:
meds took my morning meds late 1: 30
s2s etc. 1:40 it feels good
2:52 pm flip laundry - folded towels - emptied dw and filled with a few dishes
counters washed, mom's new sweaters emptied and put away - dh took box and cut it up, I cut out tags - mom thinks she bought them herself - she commented on them before I put them away.

garden planning
week planning kind of in my head
house
learning planning
what book will you read.
fitness I need this
dogs: play , brush: train : spot
DINNER dd older
dishes,
counter
stove top
sink
microwave
floor in kitchen
put away kitchen
round robin
dining table wipe
sweep floor
front room
front hall
3 season room
family room
laundry and laundry room
one bedroom
car one car

I am trying my best -
goal for this week: work on basement

[blessedw2]

January 27, 2025 it's been a struggle to get mom moving - it's 1:02 pm and we are still home.

GOAL SEED STARTING
SEE IF THE DR. WANTS TO SEE HER.
MAKE DOUBLE RECIPE OF SOUP

ERRAND GOAL: PICK UP CLEANING, bird seed, maybe a new phone for me but I want to get outside w dogs as it will be 40 degrees

every hour check heart rate and a fib.
9:30 am
10:30 am
11:30 am
12:30 pm dr. called and said the oxygen meter is not a good indicator for heart rate - I will say it showed her a - fib. now I have to count as I listen to her heart beat for a minute - terrible when having a-fib
meds will stay where they are right now - her blood pressure is good and her heart rate is under 120 - good thing she was here yesterday
see if dr. wants to see her
Dr. said to keep her on the current meds - not the extra - if her heart starts racing and she feels weak then call again. Afib is tricky

dog ate part of a 3 x 5 x 1/2 sponge - tore it into pieces will watch her for problems.

Mom:
am meds minus one heart meds
pm
eye drops 1. 2. 3.
bp:127/63 good for mom

breakfast: oatmeal, fruit, apple sauce
lunch 3" wedding sausage, apples, grapes, Kolachky cookie - we ate in the car after shopping at the Polish grocery store.
dinner
snack piece of German poundcake with coffee and milk
water: very hard one today - I can't get it in her - so far only 2 ounces!
dressed s2s -
brush hair
I have cloths for her out: pants. underwear. top. socks wash up done
cream for feet and body tonight
brush teeth hopeful
bring some photos down.
calendar
she put her pjs on without question last night.
outside time - she hates it but I will try - I am sure bc its cold
night time night gown
brush teeth?

help with dishes, dinner and laundry - getting her to help has been difficult as she just wants to sit - it changes each day.
sometime interesting

she swept the kitchen floor without asking.

--------------------------------------------------

s2s
shower evening
meds am. pm.
dogs - need to play and train them
feed birds the store was closed
water for birds ? heated

dinner bought
dishes
duds
dailies
round robin
worked on garden stuff read my English garden magazine - ordered British garden illustrated magazine.

GOAL FOR TOMORROW: BUY BIRD SEED - COME HOME COOK - IF WARM ENOUGH WORK OUTSIDE.
FOCUS MOM'S WATER -

[blessedw2]

saying thank you to the day!

Mom is still asleep and it's almost 10 am. I will try to wake her up at least to take her meds - she is snoring and she is not a snorer -
woke up at 5 and went back to sleep bc I figured I would have to be up when mom was up. Up again at 8:30 am

I am finding mom's slowness difficult at times especially if I want to get other things done.

Mom: up at 10:30 sat and watched tv in the evening until 10
meds am 10:40
meds pm 9:30
water 1. so so 2. no 3.. yesterday I could only get 5 oz. in her.
drops 1. 2. 3.
washed up - yes!
bp, heart rate, oxygen measured 11:00 am
dressed:
pants
undergarments
socks
top
brush teeth has become difficult - she did it
brush hair - always easy
fitness walked
brain she did dishes and swept the kitchen
calendar
mom called the dogs in
mom came with me to hardware store and the bird seed store.


my meds am
worked outside in garage and 3 season room
3:57 tired for no reason - feeling over full. I think as I get older I need less.
played with dogs

Need to do - finish washing the inside of the food dehydrator and put away
start bringing in pieces for the other machine.
exercise
thursday we are supposed to have 54 degrees

[blessedw2]

January 29, WEDNESDAY, 2025

JUST GET THE DAY STARTED!

Trying to learn how to find the joy in mom's brain wonderings. Instead of wanting her to finish what I think she should do - notice her curiosity - it explains how she goes into the bathroom to change but her underwear doesn't get changed. the short term memory is further away for some things. Other things she remembers. not what to do/not the follow through
1. she was supposed put her underwear and pants on - she went into the coffee table and went through the drawers where the art supplies are at. it wasn't super long and it didn't become a circle. She finally said she didn't know what all the stuff was for. it's not much but she needed to go through this. I saw this with my dad's mom, my sweet mom in law, mom's dad, dh does this too. They see it and need to go through things - especially mail, papers.
My GOAL WITH THIS: SEEING HOW LONG THE SIDE ROADS TAKE AND WHAT I CAN DO IN BETWEEN THESE MOMENTS WHERE I WANT SOMETHING TO GET FINISHED - I THINK I NEED TO DO SOMETHING WHEN THE ROAD LESS TRAVELED IS BEING FOLLOWED THAN THE QUICK ROAD I WANT TO FOLLOW TO FINISH WHAT IS IN MY MIND. IT DOESN'T MEAN THAT I HAVE TO SIT AND WAIT. MOVE

Mom: is awake but is just laying there enjoying the warmth of her blankets up at 8:30 am
meds am
meds pm
water 1. 2. 3
drops 1. 2. 3.
bp, heart rate, oxygen 9:15 am
dressed:
pants
undergarments x28th, 29
socks
top
brush teeth
brush hair
fitness walked she didn't want to go outside but she did some work
brain
she is rolling and picking the dog hair out of her white sweaters - one done - she is sticking to it.
calendar x she thought it was 19.., then the early 2000s then was shocked that it was 2025 - "did I miss some months"

she helped wash the dehydrator and the shelves
swept the front hall
made her bed without asking
hung up her night gown and robe
she put on her night gown at night - she did do the grab her sweater like a toddler and give me the evil eye. but she dressed

breakfast
lunch not thrilled - she ate fries and coleslaw and nothing else. we don't normally have fries
dinner - she gave most of her dinner to the dogs when I walked in the room
snack

my hope is not to leave the housestayeed home

Me
am pm forgot meds
breakfast
lunch not thrilled by my choice dinner -too much
s2s
dogs played ball - they love that I am outside again bc it is in the early 40's yay played ball again - worked in the 3 season room, the yard, the garage - I need to do that again tomorrow.
2:00 to 2:30 got lost on the computer
3:51 check in
took my sunlit garden light and put it in the family room to assemble - all the cardboard is in the garage for recycling on Friday.
got rid of the broken umbrella put it out at the curb tomorrow
washed mom's extra blankets and put them away

round robin
set up meds for this week for me

cleaned the dehydrator and will let it dry (then cover it)

feeling cranky but hope my gratitude eventually takes over-I am grateful and not so cranky anymore

ordered drinking glasses - we have always used mason jars but mom won't drink out of those. I have 2 juice glasses and I just bought more.

I and my dd were blown away that Min. mom and her husband Tom divorced. praying for peace for them and their children.

next take a look at the mushroom compost etc. I will see if the young man wants to work again this summer

[blessedw2]

found dh looking in the mirror - using the crazy sign when he thought I wasn't looking ... caught him - he smiled. I told him "I know" . I was listening to dd younger talking - her being frustrated at us asking when she will get started going back to Naples (I let her make her decision after her depression - of moving there and she wanted to take care of mom too and do her work) it didn't work and now she is trying to find her way. She didn't plan ahead or have realistic goals. She is wonderful but I need to say prayers that she find her way to be independent and make steady money. She couldn't handle being by herself and moved to her friends house for temporary - that isn't fixing things but she said she is trying and said it was a big change - that she didn't expect.

and me getting mom going etc.

----------------------------------------
what I found:
having the list of cloths to change in the bathroom works well for her.
the next one I put in there is brush your teeth and brush your hair - it worked.
she can stay in the bathroom for 10-15 minutes and se doesn't remember why she went there.
it's okay.
-----------------------------------------

mom
meds
s2s
breakfast finished at 10:45 am
brush hair
brush teeth
pants top underwear

work: she came out to the 3 season room and helped with sweeping, dusting - slow but consistent. every so often she didn't know what wipe next. but she worked.
at lunch time I took her to Biaggi's - she had onion soup, caesar salad and a creme brûlée - it took almost an hour and a half plus for her to eat.
Got home at 3:30 pm.

she worries me - her walking is getting off a bit and she is getting weaker.

she slept 16 hours
I got lost in my ADHD - loss of focus