Re: Recoup the rest of the Year - Wednesday
Posted: Wed Dec 26, 2012 11:55 pm
Probably can't post for long -- dh will want computer soon -- but Lilac -- you did not offend me, and I know you are right! I'm not keeping score w/dbro -- just stating that, sometimes, for all practical purposes, I have felt like an only child. HOWEVER -- NOT AT THE MOMENT!!! Dbro is being WONDERFUL!!! Dparents will fly out on Wed., and dbro is going to meet them on Saturday and stay probably until they come back home. I am sooo sooo SOOO glad of that. He doesn't mind flying and has no one to consider except himself; whereas we do have obligations to ds/ddil/dgs, as well as dmil.
Nooo... I know I will do whatever, whenever, I am needed. It is not a problem w/actually BEING there for dparents... it's a whole host of anxiety issues going back forever, some related to ddad/dh... some just related to the fact that I just a panic attack looking for a place to happen. Travel anxiety... trying to please everyone anxiety... (dh/ds/ddil/dgs/dmil, along with dmom, ddad)... guilt-trip anxiety... it's all ME -- not worrying about keeping score w/dbro. Just wanted to clarify that issue.
* DS/DDIL will NOT be trying to make me feel guilty, either, about having to be away from them when/if I do have to be out of town for any length of time. That is all in MY head, too!
Of course, I am still holding a prayer that the people in Houston will say, "Nope, Mr. Lucylee's Father, your condition definitely does not warrant putting your body through the stress and risk of a stem cell transplant. We think This Other Treatment would be much more advisable for you."
That may just be selfishness in me, but I truly think it is my ddad and dmom's prayer as well.
Just got home from movie -- Parental Guidance, w/Billy Crystal & Bette Midler. Ooohhh... it is sooo good!!! I loved it! I laughed out loud and I shed a couple of tears, too! I give it two thumbs up!
Thanks for the (((hugs))) and support and prayers, everyone... and thank you all for having confidence in me! I love you girls!
Nooo... I know I will do whatever, whenever, I am needed. It is not a problem w/actually BEING there for dparents... it's a whole host of anxiety issues going back forever, some related to ddad/dh... some just related to the fact that I just a panic attack looking for a place to happen. Travel anxiety... trying to please everyone anxiety... (dh/ds/ddil/dgs/dmil, along with dmom, ddad)... guilt-trip anxiety... it's all ME -- not worrying about keeping score w/dbro. Just wanted to clarify that issue.
* DS/DDIL will NOT be trying to make me feel guilty, either, about having to be away from them when/if I do have to be out of town for any length of time. That is all in MY head, too!
Of course, I am still holding a prayer that the people in Houston will say, "Nope, Mr. Lucylee's Father, your condition definitely does not warrant putting your body through the stress and risk of a stem cell transplant. We think This Other Treatment would be much more advisable for you."
That may just be selfishness in me, but I truly think it is my ddad and dmom's prayer as well.
Just got home from movie -- Parental Guidance, w/Billy Crystal & Bette Midler. Ooohhh... it is sooo good!!! I loved it! I laughed out loud and I shed a couple of tears, too! I give it two thumbs up!
Thanks for the (((hugs))) and support and prayers, everyone... and thank you all for having confidence in me! I love you girls!