March 18 Tuesday
ta da!
Yesterday was a rough day but I love waking up to new opportunities and learning from the rough spots
I feel stronger emotionally today - I think I needed those few rough moments to gain strength and learn from my mistakes (also to have boundaries when dealing with other loved ones of dh). I have worked hard to tell the daily dealings with dh's family - I made that promise to them and I told them they can ask any questions from the nurse- they haven't visited him- they say that they want to know everything but, as with illness, the information is constantly up and down. It makes the information sound chaotic and that they feel overwhelmed with it. They don't understand that we all want the same thing.
1. limit their information so that they don't feel like we are not helping dh. They think they can stop what's happening.
2. don't say that dh does not listen to what he needs to do and that we are trying to get a hold of things before it happens. I thought that his brother could be a back up to help us get dh to care for himself - they think it's easy that I just tell him what to do (he hides everything) They think I am trying to control everything and that I am being a martyr bc of it. - I am looking into what I do and discussing it with dd's - I was frustrated and overwhelmed but they do not need to know that - it makes me sound like a martyr - and I think I was without realizing it.
3. only text them every so often - limit information to what they think they can control.
4. be kind but firm.
5. remind them that these things are many time out of our control.
6. figure out what to do If dh does not do what he is supposed to do.
7. right now dh is very loving and kind to me but I know when he is back here and having to take care of himself that he won't be nice - and then he will be. don't take it personally - same with dh's family.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
goal: grow and adapt to what I learned from yesterday! BE GRATEFUL
Bathroom day
see dh
fitness/pt all of us including dogs
AM:
Mom:
s2s 12:17 she is getting dressed - she really fought it yesterday - I am trying to stay on routine and put on her Alsatian music - it helps. she kept getting stuck in her head yesterday. Right now she is singing - she does forget what she is putting on - thinks old things are what she should be wearing. I tried to get her into her night gown last night but couldn't - she slept in her cloths - I have to figure that one out - thinking of getting her a tee shirt and comfortable pants to act like pj cloths.
she enjoys smiling at me and saying no - I still wonder what she was like as a child
(esp. to her older sister).
meds
blood pressure etc.
I gave her a pedicure and manicure
breakfast
start her eye drops card
start water card
Washed mom's cloths
and they will go in the dryer soon
washed mom's blankets
Mom found the loose socks and is matching them - she keeps falling asleep at the dining room table as she matches them. She found my important papers so I will put those in my lock box.
me:
s2s
lovely shower
meds
eye drops
lunch
I have the fan on the seedlings
pull cards for day!
including room by room put away and swish and swipe.
DH: work on his supplies,
called
visit him
clean his room
house: dogs have been outside multiple times
changed their water
fed them
emptied dw
filled dw and turned on - not full but I am okay with that.
flipped laundry again
washed down the powder room
next: dh's bathroom
swish and swipe
hall way bathroom swish and swiped
wiped windows of dog and people prints
made French toast for dinner plus fruit - gave mom the French toast with lingonberries - she liked it - I never know what she will like. - gave mom my carrot salad earlier
made a card for the following for this week:
hall way bathroom the walls need a good cleaning and then painting.
dh's window and wall needs a thorough washing and caulking
I think I will be seeing dh at about 3 hitting a tired spot - stayed for until 6:30 he is having a cat scan of his abdomen for the feeding tube tomorrow
I really want to work outside but I can't seem to get outside.
ignore mom's comments- she doesn't mean anything by them - she thinks this is her house and comments on how the back yard looks terrible right now-it does -I told her that I haven't picked up the rest of dog toys and only tossed some of the pots.
The funny is that she says every day that "tomorrow, I'll clean my house"
we do have a lot of funny moments - I am glad that I am no longer that young person who took it to heart from mom. we all grow up and can see that our parents also have things to learn and that we have things to learn. All just human.
]
I did get a text from his brother to see how dh is - I didn't say much but kept it simple and upbeat. I am trying sooo hard to be nice. keep telling myself that they can't understand what is going on and they are fearful that he isn''t being taken care of well by us.
I need to rinse dishes and put in dw - I want to turn it on
I also need to dry mom's cloths
tomorrow - toss the towels down.
mom brought in my soil - too heavy but she did it while I was gone. it is dry potting soil but still- I wish she would have waited.
got in a pattern
went through the mail - and tossed the rest
