Our dbil is having triple bypass surgery today. It was suppose to be on Tuesday but had to be postponed due to his kidney numbers being too high. They said that it would have risked renal failure. So that is no longer an issue and they can proceed. He also has MS and diabetes, so this surgery is extra scary but has to be done.
I kept dgd4 on Tuesday. I didn't go ahead and take her to dance though because she was still coughing. The dr's nurse told dd2 that that was part of the healing process.
Yesterday was dd2's 38th birthday. I had invited her to lunch. She ended up keeping both girls home and ended up regretting that. They acted up all day and fought every other minute. At lunch they acted so bad that I commented that it is no wonder their dad doesn't want to take them out to eat anymore. After lunch, I ran some errands and then went back over there. They were still at it. Dd2 said that after a day like that, her decision was made and she would be teaching next year. At one point dd2 took her phone to her bedroom so that she could call the newspaper about an ad for the house. Dgd3 was sitting on the table.
Dgd4 was about 2 ft away, sitting on a chair and they were playing with Barbies. They started fighting again and dgd3 threw a Barbie at dgd4s and hit her forehead. I picked dgd3 off that table and gave her several well deserved swats on the bottom. She started screaming and ran to her room. Dgd4 was howling. Dd2 came out and asked what was wrong and I told her. She told dgd3 to stay in her room and take a nap. She then sent dgd4 to the master bedroom to take a nap. I told dd2 I would stay there so she could go run any errands and have some alone time. Later dgd17 and her bf came in. I was telling them about how the girls were acting. They both agreed that dd2 is too easy on them. Dgd17 said that if their ddad swats them, then dd2 babies them. The only time dd2 swats them is if they have gotten on her last nerve and then she ends up babying them. Dgd4 acted horrified that I had swatted dgd3. I was still there when the girls woke up. Dgd4 came to the living room and sat down. Dgd3 stayed at the end of the hallway. When I was leaving I went to tell her goodbye and she didn't want me to leave. I was afraid that she would hold a grudge forever over those swats. But I think she knew she deserved them and that I was not just being mean, to be mean. I don't think anyone should use a belt or punch a child, but a swat or 2 gets the point across that they are badly misbehaving. I think, but it remains to be seen, that in the future when I tell those girls to do something or quit, they will know that I am serious. With my own kids, I very seldom swatted them but they knew to behave. Dd2 needs to be consistent and maybe they wouldn't act like they can. On the other hand they can be the sweetest little girls.
Dd2 ended up telling her dh the best birthday present he could give her, was to watch the girls and she went to the movie alone!
On Mother's Day dd1s dmil fell. 2 of her sons were with her but dsil went over to check her, since he is a nurse. Monday he called her from work and she didn't answer. He left work to check on her. She had fallen again and had 2 black eyes and bumps and bruises. He told dd1 that something needed to be done and he thought she was past being eligible for assisted living. Dd1 told me that she thought he was wrong. Tuesday dd1 went over after work. She told dd1 that she didn't think she had a bra on under her jacket. Come to find out, she didn't even have a shirt on under it. She asked dd1 how long she had lived here, who was her dh, what did he do? Then she was talking about her little dog and commenting on what her dh thought of it. He has been gone for 14 years and the dog is just a few years old. On top of that, she was just not acting right. So dd1 and her dh took her to the ER. They ran blood tests, CT scan, etc. The only thing they found was that she had broken her nose when she fell on Monday. So they sent her home. By then dd1 and her dh realized that she can never be left alone again. They both took off work yesterday. Dsil checked out nursing homes. Dd1 and her dh are taking turns spending the night at her house. Dd1 has taken off the rest of the week to be with her during the day. This weekend they are to go to the college town and move dgs20 back home for the summer. Dsil has a brother who lives 8 miles from here, he will take their dm to his home while dd1 and her dh are out of town for the day. I'm not sure how soon she can get into a nursing home but until then dd1 and her dh will make sure she is not alone. Tomorrow dd1 has to run to her school for an hour or so. I told her I would go to her dmils home while she is gone. I have told myself that when she does go to the nursing home, I will be going to visit her on a regular basis. She has 4 sons but 2 of them live 4 hours from here. The one that lives close has his hands full with his daughter and her 3 kids living with them.
So I have a day to myself. Since dd2 closed on her house April 14, I have spent so much time working hard to help her, but I can't seem to work hard around here to do my own work. What's up with that?
I am in the doghouse with my dm. My dnephews son is graduating from HS this weekend. Dm is not happy that I/we are not coming back for it because dsisil came with her to dgs20s graduation last year. Dh will be headed that way the next weekend for a 4-5 five day bike trip, so he doesn't want to drive back the weekend before. Dd1 and her dh have their plates full. Dd2 told me she could take me, just say the word. Welllllll she has the boys this weekend and there is no way I want to take a trip with her and the 4 kids. I love those kids to pieces but the 4 of them together, I can only take in small doses. I do not trust myself to drive 6 hours alone. When dh and I travel, I have a hard time staying awake and doze a lot. I just don't want to take a chance. I know dm is thinking ahead to next year when both my dgds17 graduate and how will she get here. We will take care of that when the time comes. I get really irritated because my nephews wives all act like we don't count any other time. I always send birthday cards and money to their kids, birthday cards to them and Christmas cards. They don't send us a Christmas card or pictures. What really irks me is that at least every other month dm and my 3 nephews go out to lunch. Those 3 always let dm pay for it. I just don't think it would hurt them to pay for her lunch once in awhile. She goes to all of their events, babysits, etc. They never buy her a birthday or Christmas gift or even a card.
I have had breakfast and meds but need to hit the shower. Guess I better do that and try to motivate myself to clean my own home, since I can do such a bang-up job for someone else.
I'm currently listening to Smart Money Smart Kids: Raising the Next Generation to Win with Money. One of my goals for the summer to start LO on commission system (instead of allowance).
to a guilty pleasure of watching Nanny 911 sometimes (dd15, for some reason, just loves the nanny stars) and they are always talking about consistency. When you mentioned your dd is sometimes strict, but sometimes babies the girls after her dh is strict, that reminded me. In some of the situations, becoming very, very consistent between the two parents helps. As far as the graduation, why not put some of the money you would have used traveling into a nicer, more memorable present? It would be hard for anyone to criticize that.
As long as I feel she's mostly safe I can go with that since dbro is in dmom's house. Did the doc/ER ck for a urinary tract infection? Also leaves elders feeling disoriented.