2025!!!!! Winter, Spring, Summer, Fall, winter again.

[Twins' Mom]

bw2, we're always here to listen. You have a lot going on and it's difficult to know what to tell them because it's in flux. We'll always listen to a vent!

[blessedw2]

thank you so much! I have been trying to explain what's going on and they assume there is something that I am missing. I was frustrated. was I feeling sorry for myself and didn't realize it. - probably because I was teary eyed and overwhelmed; dh hurt himself by not letting us or drs help and now we are here. I am not angry at him but my heart hurts for him. it's hard to get a 69 year old man to do what needs to be done.

I will say that they can't take in all the information that changes morning to night and day by day. They want to know everything but clearly overwhelming to hear things and not be able to change things. I am doing them a kindness by not sharing much any more.
they stepped over the line bc of worry and thinking that I am causing him to go through it over and over. I can forgive that and understand that.

thank you again. I am lucky dd older is taking care of the hospital information -. I am very grateful


thank you!

[blessedw2]

March 19, 2025 Wednesday
ready to start the day!
anti procrastination day - pick up dog toys outside raining a freezing

pull cards.

Mom:She didn't fall asleep until after midnight. She slept in her cloths again - I am going to try to find an alternative pj.
I made an appointment for mom's blood test - she just woke up at 11:00 am. I have to be there in one hour - fingers crossed
we were 5 minutes late Not too bad.
Meds taken late 12:30 pm
s2s (didn't brush her teeth - I will get her to do that tonight. I think I will pick her cloths tonight.

stopped at cleaners to drop off moms sweaters (all cashmere) and picked up dh's comforter
also went to garden shop (near blood test) for more seed starter
stopped at restaurant after her blood test - 1/2 hour away - she had a lovely time to talking to people along the way

-say a prayer of strength and hope

dh: see him
continue working on his room - spoke to him a couple times
found some extra trac cannulas

Me:
meds
breakfast
lunch

spoke to dd older after her visit to dh
spoke to dd younger while she was driving to a photo dog thingy


Dogs:
fed am
and have been outside multiple times - way too wet and cold

House - card file.
filled dw (didn't last night) and turned on
sink cleaned
counters cleaned
stove cleaned
swept, dusted and washed the kitchen floor


Garden:

Cooking:

[blessedw2]

did not get much done yesterday - gone most of the day and took a quick nap at 5 pm and went to bed early.
it's okay -

dd older is extremely drained - I am a bit mentally drained but she is both physically and mentally drained bc she is handling all of dh's medical orders etc. I always did it but she has done better with dh on getting him the care he needs over his not wanting things. she is overwhelmed between work and dh. I hope to get him home so that I can do my part and that she doesn't have to be the person the hospital talks to.

Main problem is that dh is spoken to and not us. he doesn't understand the danger he puts himself in.

March 20, 2025 Thursday

MOM
meds at 10 am - woke her
she rested on and off this morning - made her get up at 11 am
breakfast at 11:00
pulled cloths last night
not getting dressed - refuses as of this moment -it's 12:15 pm and still not dressed.
she got stuck on the Hail Marie in French - she tore up my 3 x 5's with the hail Marie and wrote on my 3 x5's for her water and eye drops and started writing on and tore that up. I ended up looking it up and wrote it on paper - I will save it on a page.
12;21 PM mom it's time to get dressed - smiles at me - "yes master" what a stinker!
1:16 pm dressed.
she got her hair done
she folded one blanket.
mom is making complaints about how bad the yard looks - I told her that the criticism doesn't help.- she says it helps her. I mentioned that it if I could get out there I would and it just makes me feel bad. it's freezing and we have snow.
3:54 mom has no direction - her dementia is not letting her move forward on anything.
she is getting lost in her own head.
mom drops 1 so far
water 4cups so far - I need to get in another glass.
dinner: fed before seeing dh


DH

spoke to dh during the day - he feels better - no pain
he told me not to come yesterday and I should have gone
I am going at 4 pm.

worked on his room - I will go get him some shelves for his closet - he doesn't want help in his room but he needs it.
checked his medical supplies - he needs certain ones - told dd older.

I couldn't stay at the hospital with him - he was a piece of work - I told him I had started cleaning his room and then he was upset with me - annoyed! I told him I could see he was annoyed and wasn't thrilled with me. He wasn't thrilled from the time I went in - so I don't think it was just cleaning the room. Any time I clean in the garage he gets frustrated. He had bad throat pain but told the nurse he was fine - the nurse listened to me and gave him Tylenol - you could see it on his heart graph went bonkers- I was surprised that it didn't set off an alarm - but it didn't last for than a few seconds.

I am glad I left - He was so nice for the last 18 days - today reminded me of his up and down here this last year. - dd older said he will not coming home making life difficult for us personally. he will need to see someone. We can handle any health stuff, no problem. He needs to let his anger out bc of this - it can't be on us.

DOGS
fed I need to open back gate
don't forget to close the back gate - coyotes are roaming again
closed the gate

HOUSE
worked on dh's stuff - on my list.
opened all boxes etc. now we know what he needs

ME
meds am
s2s
breakfast I need to check my blood sugar
watered the seedlings and trimmed back the green onions - weird: my delphiniums had a bunch of green onion/or onion seeds with them. I didn't have any more seeds for green onions so this is odd - took them out.
lunch - yogurt and some of the rhubarb that I froze earlier.
dinner a quesadilla - lol I burnt it a bit but still ate it.

DAILIES
emptied dw finished kitchen
fill dw and turn on I didn't do dishes yesterday night
put washed laundry in dryer - mom said she could do it - she hasn't done anything and it's not good for her.
flip laundry a couple times
tossed down towels
took garbage to the front of the garage including a newly dead vacuum cleaner.
needs to be put in front - 2 broken chairs - dh kept one upstairs and I went to sit on it and the chair did the splits again -
I need to get the boxes out as well.
hung up dh's cloths
put away more cloths
drying mom's cloths - when I get home, I will hang them up.
cleaned up dinner dishes and sink

I ended up ordering mom something - I have dinner for dd and I but I just have to put it together when I get home.

got a text from dh's brother - I know that they are trying to help but it does drain me. they don't know what they want isn't doable - it will be worse for us. dh isn't going to accept anything from anyone. He is wearing his underwear (where from?) has he changed?
This is not going to be easy.
The hospital usually gives us home health after a long stay. We love the nurse from there - it is six to twelve weeks. I do have a respiratory infectious disease dr. now which is much better than his general dr. - she really doesn't understand what he needs.

I and dd think he is still sicker than he is making it sound. He was sent home so weak before and it's because he lied and said he was great. he pushed them to release him. his red blood cell count is low - I am hoping that being home makes him better.

tomorrow's hope finish h's room. go order the shelves for that closet.
I am supposed to sit there tomorrow morning - dd is taking mom to her dr. appointment.
saying a prayer for items to come in and then move forward.

[Twins' Mom]

((Bw2))

[blessedw2]

you are a keeper d twins!

[lucylee]

Thinking of you and praying for you to have strength and peace of mind, blessed. I just can’t imagine doing all that you are doing these days, with your dmom AND dh.
I hope you’re sleeping well while I’m typing this and that you and dd will awake refreshed and that all goes well tomorrow.

[blessedw2]

thank you sweet Lucy!!! I am praying for your d mom and her future surgery. I know she fell the other day and I was so grateful to hear that she was ok!
much love to you! thank you!

[blessedw2]

march 21, 2025 Friday

dd older went to the hospital and the nurses say he is going home - we think he told them that he had equipment - they never asked us - a flaw in their system.
According to the nurses they believe that nothing has been ordered. He can't go home with out the feeding formula or supplies or without the trac cleaner - dh is draining us with his fibs to get himself out. I don't blame him but his lying puts him in a dangerous position.
If he says not to talk to us then they have to listen but we have the burden of keeping him alive without the necessary means to feed him.

[blessedw2]

dh is home - it was frustrating dealing with the home health people - they think they know what is needed or is covered. I have been through this three times in the last 2 years and I know that the one company does not cover his trac. No matter what we say they say no - same with the hospital - we run into the problem that at the last minute that they realize that their company won't be able to fill the order and we are left with no supplies. no one listens and then I and dd sound difficult. I was frustrated when I saw that dh has been given the wrong cannulas but they insisted that they were correct. (dd older was there when the trac was being put in and asked the ent for the trac cannula number - so we know that they gave us the wrong one.

His home health nurse will take care of it. the problem is that we loose the ability to get the true trac company to give us supplies and then I have to buy them on the internet.

dh was nice to me this morning bc he wanted to be picked up - he called 4 times. he doesn't remember being home for 2 days; probably bc he insisted on being release.

he told dd that I spoke too much last night (I was there for two minutes when I realized he was very angry/annoyed at me) - I left after ten minutes.
I know I sounded rough with him at the hospital when he told me he had equipment in front of the nurse - nope - I should have been much more patient with the patient. I think I was still upset from last night and this morning.

I also expect to have him give me a hard time - he will get himself into this again bc he doesn't follow through. I will keep the faith!

time to start:
mom: meds/breakfast
dd took mom to dr. alllll good!
they said it's very good she is living with us.

dh home

me: meds
breakfast - lunch
picked up dh
gave mom lunch
dd older/ mom had a good chat and laugh

time to work.