2025!!!!! Winter, Spring, Summer, Fall, winter again.

[blessedw2]

so lovely to talk to you sweet lauralind! You are an encouragement - thank you!!!
I will be praying for fast healing for your sweet dad. It's hard - I saw my d mom in law go through it at 72 -

I know your parents appreciate all that you do as I do with my dd's - I know your parents see you as a Godsend like I see my girls. I don't want them to take on the burden and I wish I could release dd older from all the work and organizing she does to keep my dh as healthy as he can be.

wishing you a blessing of day- you made mine great!

[blessedw2]

I have been posting here bc I needed to work out the new normal (lol again-there is no normal or routine) and the joys and challenges of d mom - dh is doing better since he is getting oxygen again.
.
I don't know what I would have done without being with everyone.
This dementia is so different than my grandmothers (my dad's mom)and grandfathers (my mom's dad) or my uncle who had cancer. my uncle was hard, loved him, but he was hard.

I am hoping to get on the pwyc more and more. I just don't want to burden others on the pwyc - that's such a positive and encouraging space.

[Lauralind]

Awww thanks. I feel too like sometimes when I share more over the other threads maybe I am a burden. Maybe not though as so many have significant life issues.

Dad is that. 72. And hard. He is of sound mind but I'm almost sure had the surgery not happened right then he might not have made it. Plus diabetes. Mom's dementia is extremely different too. She's lost all her words. Can't explain. Can't tell stories. She had a silent aneurysm in her brain that was found last summer and surgery to eliminate it. Brain damage. Dad manages best he can but he definitely needs help. Once he recovers it will be easier.

I seem the caretaker cleaning and staying with mom when needed. My sister is a very good administrator. She is the appointments and communication with drs and meds amd who knows what else. It works. Somehow. But the whole thing has led me to burn out trying to manage both homes and all the emergencies and still work and be a mom and a grandma now too.

I want to take some time to review this card file thing maybe I can make it work.

I hope I can continue to support you. Much appreciated allowing us all to land at a new home here in your village.

[blessedw2]

no you are never a burden!!! I have been around for a long time and this group like your old group is full of the most wonderful women

I am so sorry your sweet mom had brain damage - it is so hard that your d dad has had to go through this - I know it worries him about your dear mom!
it's a lot for a young person, like you, caring for your own family, home, your work, your life and all that goes with all the emergencies and care taking. everything does burn one out. You are trying to balance children needs, your parents and families needs and your own needs get pushed out of the way. My kids were in their teens and early 20's when dh had stage 4 throat cancer.

I thank you!! I and everyone are also here for you!

it's so wonderful that you and all our SHE family can all be together. I was thrilled to hear that you all were coming here!!!!


We have had 3 weeks since dh got out of the hospital and mom it's 2 weeks.

[Twins' Mom]

Lauralind, the community is never a burden. We are about what's going on with all our members, and there may even be someone who's been there. I leaned on the group when my dsis was in a nursing home and I was her guardian, and when my dbro passed away suddenly and all the years my dmom was failing. We are all on the same journey - different places because my mom has been gone almost five years.

We are here to support bw2 and you and all the village in the ways we can online.

bw2, please remember to take care of yourself and take time for yourself.

[Lauralind]

You are all so sweet. Wow that's a lot for both of you. Just recently both were in the hospital ? That is a lot.

Today was a good day. I was a little worried I took on too much but it was ok. Dad can drive again so I invited them to get out of the house and come here for supper. All on top of just having finished painting ds15 bedroom. Trying to get it done cause dd and dsil that live in Alberta are coming for Easter next weekend. I need all my rooms at least semi organized.

Church was really good this morning. Supper went well and then we moved his furniture. Successful day.

[blessedw2]

well done d Lauralind - how exciting to have your dd and your d sil coming! I am so happy your dad can drive again!
that must make him feel great!!!

d twins is right - everyone here is wonderful and so supportive. We all have time where the support of our village is a lifeline.

waving at you d twins. I am trying to work on me - sometimes mom's sidetracked nature is hard for me. dh though has been doing great! I am shocked that, for. the moment, he is normal - kind and not always angry for the first time in a year. I am just enjoying the moment.

[blessedw2]

I don't want to get lost:

I am s2s, meds given, dh fed dogs.
we came up with a design we all like - we now have to see if the architect thinks it will work

mom had her meds and breakfast
she is telling me that the queen of England didn't have to get dressed everyday - that she wore the same cloths - the good - dog stood on mom's lap causing her cloths to get dirty - ah now she has to change. it took her 2+ hours to dress yesterday.

[Lauralind]

Blessed it's definitely interesting though sad sometimes. Mom was soft spoken and quiet but a very well put together person. Could easily lead different activities or services. She was well dressed and usually kept house very well. Lived in but clean. Now she doesn't see details anymore. She can try to help if I do something and she's there. She helped set the table and clean up if I was doing it. She won't remember how to do it on her own. Amd clothes? If I let her she would wear the same shirt for a month. Trying to figure out there one yet. It's hard to watch her decline slowly.

Dad was very happy being able to drive again.

I am so glad your dh is doing better again. It must be so stressful having 2 to take care of.

[blessedw2]

Having your sweet mom change overnight is so hard. My mom's has been over the last 10 years and more so in the last 5. My grandparents were over time as well. My daughter's friends dad was an early onset - in his 50's and that went faster. It is sad - bc my circumstances are so different - time being the difference - and being around Alzheimer's since I was in my 30's I grieve after a the beginning realization of what is going on. I grieved when my mom was sad or frustrated by what was happening to her.

My situation is so different. I have had time.

You, your d mom and your d dad were hit all at once. It was over night.it is sad and is hard on your heart. (((Lauralind)))

My mom is 87 and it sounds like your mom is in her early 70's or late 60's. That's a big difference. You also grieve the grandma time for your d mom and your dear children.

My one grandmother was 82 when she died and I took care of her when my daughter was a baby. My grandfather was 94 when he died and had alzheimers for about 5 years, my uncle - my kids were early 20's late teens. dh cancer was when girls were 14 and 20 and he was pretty good for 13 years after - it was a new dh. my youngest stayed with mom in Florida for about 6 years and that's when you could see the dementia coming. my uncle was different bc his mind was there but his body had cancer. (he didn't stay with me but I had to be there about 4 - 5 times a week - he had a wonderful helper).

I can't say I am happy right now - I am not grieving right now. - I would go back to when dh's family and I had our little ones and we were together so much with d mom in law. I loved that time. But I am trying to find peace and gratefulness in the little moments - it's just different.

I also found that after working with little ones has helped me see the similarities with d mom. I have always felt that you can see the child in each adult. Their happiness and joys, their fears and bravado bc of the fears, etc.

There are joys (like with children) but now there is also a weight. I can enjoy and celebrate the child my mom has in her. she must have been a spitfire as a child! I also see how she thinks - so different than mine and yet the same at times. What I fought against when I was a young and older adult is just who she is in her thinking- but I no longer try to change her to see how I feel. In that there is such a blessing.

I touch her hair when she is lying down. I give her a hug. - she wasn't a hugger. I cover her with a blanket and she loves to get tucked in. There is so much beauty in that.

I stress when she won't get dressed or it takes 2 hours, It drains me - I have to figure out a way that It doesn't stall me.

we all have to be kind to ourselves - be gentle on our grieving selves. There is a lot of beauty in all of us.