I never got the kitchen "focus" cleaning done, but I did wash the dishes that had been in the sink since Wednesday, and I tossed the remains of the ham. (I need to throw out two eggs that are left over from
Christmas Thanksgiving! Oh my goodness! They were dated Dec. 24, but I bought them to make chicken & dressing! I'd say it's time to toss them out!
I'm in bed before midnight, and DGS has finally lay down for the night too. He's on the couch, with the Christmas tree lights still on. I told him I was afraid to make any promises, but I felt like I could promise him the tree would be down before next Saturday night!
ROSE and
LADYM[ -- you two may have some insight to this --
and I welcome thoughts from any of you ladies --
Tonight, dgs kinda cut me off when I was asking for his input re: some of the Christmas decorations, keep or toss, etc. He said, "Don't ask me any more questions! I don't care!"
I reacted pretty quickly, saying, "What is the matter with you? I am just making conversation!"
This led to a discussion about being rude and hurting people's feelings.
I said, "What if I cut you off like that when you're giving me facts and telling me things? What if I said, 'Stop talking to me! I don't care about that!"
He said he wouldn't get his feelings hurt, that he never thinks about people being rude to him so he doesn't realize when he might be rude.
???
I think this is a part of autism, but he should not be allowed to get away with it, using this as an excuse.
BUT my further question is -- and I asked him, "Doesn't it ever hurt your feelings when people say or do certain things? Aren't you ever sad about anything?"
He said, "I don't know."
I guess I pressed too much on this, but I said, "Well, I know you were sad when Granddaddy died..."
and he said, "I guess."
Well. That made ME cry, and I said, "You do miss Granddaddy don't you?" And of course he said yes...
But I tried to lighten up that line of conversation and I said, "You don't ever get too excited about anything either, do you? Like DGD being so excited about her day today?" And I told him it made ME sad to think he never experienced the highs like she did, either.
He said no, he didn't, and finally I said he was just like his daddy -- DS never gets too high or too low either, and I do not think he is on the autism spectrum at all. I told dgs I admired him for that, that I wished I could be more like that, and that I was emotional enough for both of us.
We talked about that he likes to be certain places and doesn't like certain places -- my house as opposed to school... football ("I guess," he said.)
And of course this conversation ended with me impressing on him that if he ever IS bothered by something, he should always talk to someone -- me, his parents, etc.
OH -- and I told him I was so thankful that I get to watch him grow up -- and he said, "But I am not excited about that, I don't really want to grow up."
I told him then that I never wanted to grow up -- that I really enjoyed being a teenager, and I knew I had it good when I was a teenager, so I didn't really want to grow up.
But I also told him, "I was never ready for your daddy to grow up, never ready for the next step as he went through school... but I learned that I thought every stage was the best stage. You think you're not ready for the next thing, but when it gets here, you find out you can adjust. Like you couldn't go to varsity football practice and hold your own when you were in fourth grade, but now you can. You can't do college work right now, but when you get there, you'll be able to."
That kinda scared me when he said he didn't want to grow up.
Sigh. He really is just like Sheldon on Big Bang Theory. He can't read other people's emotions because he doesn't really read his own.
Just now I went to tell him good night and to say our prayers. As I always do, I said, "Anything on your mind that we need to pray about?" And then I laughed and said, "Well, we settled that earlier, didn't we?" And he laughed too.
)
